Confessions of A College Gal

SOSG(I) - 'Sprouting of a School Girl'

2011-09-02T23:59:00.003+05:30

Unreviewed

A google techie to an I-Manager, an enigmatic transition is what people call the past four years of Mrs.Elvia Reddy the Managing Director of I-Associates group. BT's Thoorika Markandeya caught up with her for an exclusive interaction.

In less than four years ‘The I-Associates’ has been enlisted in NSE. The assets you manage have crossed the 1 billion rupees mark. To what do you attribute this growth to?

Firstly, this is a direct result of Shantanu’s ambitious or I should say restless nature. When people consider running is fast, he considers flying is slow. The other major factor is the sort of good people and opportunities we had come across. The right kind of core team of investment analysts like our CIO Mr.Hari Vasudev and chief analyst Mr.Praveen Kumar, who let Shantanu pull them to his pace. An ideal mix of determination, dedication, team effort and divine will.

How did an investment and fund management company diversify into IT? Is it something that you took up to satiate your techie ambitions?

After my brief stint in Google I gave up my job to join the IT dept. of I-Associates. Shantanu was profoundly unhappy about this move of mine. He always considered I deserve to be in a better place than an IT dept that had less than a dozen staff. It’s at this juncture Kiran our good friend and our college senior expressed his intention to be free of the ‘employee’ tag. These intentions and motives of us brought us together into I-IT services.

It’s said that you are closer to Mrs.Anusuya Kiran, but why is that she joined I-IT services recently a good year later than Mr.Kiran?

Shantanu was not game for Anu to leave Mic. He was just as reluctant as he felt for me leaving Google. He argued that it would be safe if there is one wage earning member in Anu’s household. Moreover, Kiran was with Symantec for more than 2 years and had a better exposure and experience in IT products and services. So Anu waited for a year until we stabilized and when we had a surge in orders we had to call Anu in.

An IT dept changing into a full fledged IT company is not a new concept, but I-Health?

(laughs) It’s an irony that wealth is unhealthy. In this era the upper middle class encounter a lot of health problems. Matter of factly a good chunk of our clients fall in this category. As a customer based and hence customer friendly organization we started off with health tips to our customers, and our client relations executives kept track of our client’s health as a valued added service. These services are received well. Like our IT we realized our potential to start a health management service, and now we have I-Health. We have MOUs with ambitious small players in medical insurance companies and good hospitals that are not chains, and hence making a mutually beneficial partnership.

Initially you were part of the IT core team under Mr.Kiran and now you have become the MD of the group. Is it because you are the wife of the chairman and hence the most trust worthy person for the job?

It so appears that way to the outside world, but the truth is that most of our board members are as young as I am and they specialize in their fields. When Shantanu got an admit into the school of his dreams there wasn’t anyone who was ready to take up his place. The core members of both the investment management and IT aspects of the group were already over loaded and they are still involved in the technical aspects of the functioning of their business rather than full time managers. Without Hari and Praveen the fund management analysis would be paralyzed and Kiran is still a full time programmer despite being the head of our IT business.

That had left me in the position to take up the job, temporarily, till Shantanu is back from Harvard. The senior people manage their respective businesses. My job is mainly to co-ordinate the finances and client aspects of both the businesses, with guidance from Shantanu. Though he is at the other end of the globe, his thoughts are all focused on the group. Half the time, I just execute instructions from him. Regarding the trust aspect, our organization is not build on money or just people; it’s built on trust amongst our people. Trust not just in the core level. Our trust runs till the root, to a fresher customer relation executive to a programmer everyone is autonomous and works on their free will, bound by the responsibility of their position in this organization.

Regarding the new I-H-cafes, it is said that it was entirely your initiative?

Well in all these years with Shantanu, the least I could do was to think of a restaurant initiative as part of I-health services.

When is IH-cafes expected to be operational and what exactly is an IH-café?

It’s more like a cause and effect thing. Lack of proper diet is a major reason for most of our common health troubles..

(just when she was talking, a cute little figure storms into her room with a loud calling, ‘mummieee’. An apologetic PA stood anxiously at the door step for letting her bosses meeting interrupted.
She dismisses him with a wave and continues talking as if the interruption never happened. The young Ms.Shantanu sits on her mother’s lap silently and starts listening to the conversation attentively)

So, as I was saying for a good health you need a healthy-balanced diet. IH-café would specialize on healthy food with best possible taste. We would operate more like a home delivery, as we don’t expect our clients to drop by our outlet day in and day out. We also would encourage home-makers to cook healthy food by supplying them with the raw items or the semi-prepared mixes. This is more like not for profit organization, wherein one mother helps her fellows keep their family healthy.

Would you mind us sharing a bit of your personal life?

(Smiles) That depends on the part of it that interests you..

I heard that you fell in love with Mr.Reddy when in college… and initially there were a lot of troubles in your marriage. On a personal note out of my curiosity would you mind if I ask the story of your marriage?

An attempt on a sequel for a non-existent novel :p Waiting for ur comments...

A world of my own

2010-07-10T20:30:00.007+05:30

Reviewed by Padu

"It's her wish. This is what she wants. This is the life she chose.", shouted an energetic young guy in his early 20s.

"I just don't give a damn about her choice. I am the one who choose what's good for her, for all these days, and I now know what is good." yelled an elderly man of age around 55. His outfit and foible typical of a south indian politician.

I saw the scene a couple of decades back, the scene when my dad and grand dad met.

-----------

When I opened my eyes, I could sense that I was on a bed. It took sometime to register, that I was on a hospital bed. I could hear heated arguments. The arguments were not from my dream, but were the ones that were being shouted, in reality. Matter of factly they were the ones that woke me up.

There were people trying to abate the bashing. I could hear my dad and my grand dad clearly even through the closed glass doors.

"You are trying to avenge for me marrying your daughter. You fail to realize that you are ruining your own grand daughter's life."

"I failed to recognize the beautiful life that my daughter choose, that lead to the loss of a lot of good days in my life. I lost the childhood days of my grand daughter. I don't want you to repeat my mistake."

The argument continued. I could feel my head throb. I was lost for all emotions. I was neither sad nor worried. I could only feel a void, an utterly blank void. I felt like I was a spirit.

Night fell by. There was silence everywhere. Finally somehow someone managed to put off the arguments, or at least in my vicinity.

I still have no idea whether there were people around. I just closed my eyes, trying to loose myself in the void. I continued to be on bed for a few days. I rarely spoke.

Mom tried to make conversation. "How are you feeling now?" "Fine."

"Are you hungry?" "No"

"But you hardly have anything. Please for your health's sake, have this."

"Ok"

Tired of my one word responses, even mom stopped talking much. I think I was hurt by the fall due to fainting. I didn't know what was wrong or what hurt.

One fine morning I was discharged back to our home. There was the same grave silence. Despite my insistence Anu stayed with me. I didn't speak to her much either.

My Google joining date was due a week. Dad arranged a flat for the 2 of us. Thankfully Anu was also in Microsoft Bangalore. Though I didn't speak much, she was my only soothing support.

Mom and dad bid adieu, getting only a blank face as response. Without risking to try my resolve they just left with exasperation.

Anu tried for the nth time, "What your parents say is right. You should get rid of it. You don't even have Shantanu by your side now."

Silence.

"Oh come on. He just gave you up for his own aspirations."

"Don't.. just don't..." I stormed off from the room.

That night I was contemplating on my life. Planning what I will do about my uncertain future. But not even once I thought of stepping back. Finally sleep overcame my thought mesh.

The next day, I stepped into google's Bangalore campus. There was a chilling surge of an exotic feel. I gave a reassuring touch to my belly...

x---***----x
Hiya frnds,

I have started writing again. I am lost for reviewers. I don't know how many of my good old frnds are available now. If u can help me, pls mark your presence.

Thanks,
Ur own Elvi

CoCG's Sequel

2010-02-26T21:34:00.003+05:30

I 'm thinking of writing Confessions of a College Gal's sequel, 'War of a Woman Entrepreneur'. What say you?!??

OK relax guys. Sorry for disappearing sooooo long. But I now really need your help. Kindly enlighten me with your esteemed suggestions.

Tanqqq,
Elvi

Review Request

2009-10-13T07:44:00.002+05:30

Dear Friends,
I feel that I should have all the chapters properly reviewed before I go for writing the EPILOGUE. Kindly help me review them. Find as many mistakes as you can, and bombard me with critiques.

With your help I will be able to finish of with the lingual mistakes.

If you are kind enough to review for me,
1. Copy paste the chapter and it's title(with the chapter no) into word.
2. Highlight the mistakes with Ctrl+B.
3. Suggest replacement.

Thank you,
Elvi

The P Predicament, Shantanu and (XCIV)

2009-10-11T17:29:00.007+05:30

Unreviewed
He gave the microphone to Dinesh, the junior guy who was coordinating. He put his hands into his pocket, and retrieved something within his clasped hands. He kneeled down on one knee and opened his hands. Dinesh kept the microphone near Shantanu’s lips.

“Elvia will you marry me?” his voice echoed in the auditorium and reverberated in every cell of my body. The dot sized diamond on the cute platinum ring reflected the dim lights of the dais brightly, but it was no match to the glitter in his eyes.

To add to my embarrassment Vandhana was reading my novice poems,

"...I know I was mad
I wanted you to know
I was madly mad of you
But I was too mad to tell you
I wanted to feel ..."

"....
You are a greatest boon
Whom I got not very soon
Every-time I see the moon
I wish it be the noon
To see you my loon
Love is a sensitive cocoon
Nothing funny like a cartoon
I turn all maroon
When you burst my heart balloon
Kindly save my crown
From love sinking it to drown..."

I was not even conscious enough to wonder from where she got all those poems from.

Dinesh was holding the microphone near me non-verbally asking me for an answer. Looking at my puzzled expression Shantanu whispered “I liquidated Reliance Industries from my demat.”

It took much longer for me to understand what he meant, and I was in no mood for an explanation anyway. I understood the meaning of being ‘frozen’. The only part of my body that had any signs of life was the heavy thumping of my arteries.

Shantanu ventured again “Elvia will you marry me?” I had stopped breathing just like the rest of crowd. I meekly replied “yes” I would have fainted if not for the earth shaking roar from the crowd. Shantanu showed the ring, but I was not conscious enough to lift my hands.

Shantanu helped himself, and put on the ring on my left ring finger. Till date I have no memory of what happened next. I spent most of the time during the following days admiring the ring.

With the uncertainty of future and fear of opening up our love to my parents I completed the last of our semester exams. I was praying God hopelessly ‘Let my college life not end’.

I was wondering how to manage the ring. I felt too sentimental to remove the ring from my fingers. Finally my analytical mind found a solution.

Before leaving for home I asked dad for money stating that my friends and I had planned to buy identical rings in the memory of our college life. I could sense dad frowning even over phone. Finally with mom’s support dad consented.

With that money I bought a similar ring to Anu, and we both headed to our home. Anu was protesting that she will have no part in facing my dad, when I would tell him about Shantanu. Somehow I managed to drag her along to our home, to stay with me for a few days.

I know I hadn’t the luxury of waiting for the right moment. I also knew for sure our wedding couldn’t be postponed any the later.

A week past since we arrived at our home. I called up Shantanu, “Hey what’s wrong with you?”

He meekly replied, “Wrong with me!!!”

“Ya you hadn’t called for the past couple of days.”

“Hmmm.. well you know work pressure. I couldn’t wait to get things done.”

“So how is the progress? Any leads in getting a proper site for the Chennai office?”

“Not yet.”

“Ok dear take care don’t bug your-self too much.”

“Ya ok”

“Love you”

“bye”

I mused ‘What’s wrong with him?’ ‘Could work stress change things that are embedded in the subconscious?’ He sounded like he was someone else.

I ignored the matter. There was something more pressing that I had to deal with. It was high time I opened up the matter. Things couldn’t wait any longer.

It was a Sunday morning. Dad was at home. I had my shower reciting the dialogues I would use in persuading dad. The very thought of it was bone-chilling, but I was in a ‘Now or Never’ predicament.

I made the decision. I dressed up in my dad’s favorite blue color. With a conservative make-up, I walked down the stairs into the drawing room.

Dad was sitting on the sofa with ‘The Hindu’ in his hands and a cup of steaming coffee on the Coffee Table. Mom was seated in the couch opposite to that of dad’s flipping through some magazine.

As I entered the room no one showed any signs of recognition. I took a seat midway besides mom’s couch. I could hear every systole clearly. I broke the silence of the morning.

“Dad..” He continued looking into the newspaper.

I ventured again, “Dad, I want to talk to you”

He gave a slight nod stating that he heard me. I took a deep breath. “Dad I want to speak to you about Shantanu, a budding entrepreneur…” In these first few words I knew I had botched it up. All my numerous practice sessions with Anu were of no avail. I knew I had made it an extempore.

Dad cut me short, “Sanjay and his parents Mr. and Mrs Iyer your long lost uncle and aunt are joining us for lunch today. Go back to your room and get ready for lunch.”

“But dad I..”

“Sanjay has finished his IAS training last month and had been the 2nd best in his batch. He had been appointed joint secretary for Industrial affairs. You are going to be engaged with him in the next auspicious day.”

My pulse rate shot up. I stood up from my seat. Gathered all my strength and said, “Dad I love Shantanu. I want to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him.”

Dad remained seated but his visage grew sterner, “Your destiny is with Sanjay. Forget all about Shantanu and just do what has been told.”

I looked at mom helplessly, but she was hopelessly pretending to be so engrossed with the magazine, and to make it worse she stood up and walked into the kitchen. I knew I was all alone in this battle with my loving dad.

“Dad but Shantanu is really a nice guy. He is intellectual and smart you must talk to him. You must….”

“I spoke to him day before yesterday. I gave him an option to choose between you and his non-existent company, and as you know the all ambitious Shantanu choose his company.”

The whole world came crashing down on me. Everything whirled around me. I couldn’t even imagine what had happened. I didn’t believe it ‘No it can never be the case’.

“No, Shantanu would have never said that. Dad, please give him a chance. Please talk to him. I beg you please…”

“He really is a smart guy. He knew making the later choice would be of no avail. I didn’t have to persuade him any longer. I promised him all legal help, and he readily budged” a villainy smile replaced the hardened expression on his visage.

“That really can’t be possible. Dad you really don’t know what…”

“I know EVERYTHING”

‘Everything’ he stressed on the word. ‘What does everything mean?’ ‘Does he really know everything?’ ‘Is he ok with whatever happened?’ ‘Doesn’t my present state mean anything to him?’

I felt my heart would explode. I could feel the blood flow through the veins across my temples. My head felt like it would blast. My clenched fist grew tighter that my nails dug deep into my palms. A drop of blood started trickling down my palm, and that was the last thing I remembered before fainting.

P.S. If at all the Epilogue is published it will be published only in print. Kindly don't get disappointed looking for the Epilogue here. Anyway I ll continue writing in this blog. Thank you for your support.

Delay Notice

2009-09-30T06:45:00.001+05:30

Due to unavoidable reasons I may take more than a month for the next post. Kindly bear with me.

Thank u,
Elvi

Farewell & Our Faculty (XCIII)

2009-09-22T21:32:00.003+05:30

Reviewed by Shahaan

The weekend was full of thanking people. I was too bored of hearing ‘Congrats’, ‘Good Luck’, ‘All the best’ etc etc. By Sunday night I explained for the nth time about the rounds in Google recruitment. I was also bored of telling people I had no idea about contacting CII or applying for a business loan.

I was amazed by the number of girls who were aspired by the thought of being entrepreneurs. None in my friends circle had any idea of starting their own ventures. All they cared about was settling soon.

I had heard girls talking about CAT and MBA, but even most of them talked about average salary in the placements of good B-schools. Only then I realized the entrepreneur zeal had spread well amongst girls. I mused whether the era of equality has bloomed, where people wouldn’t stop a girl from something just because ‘She is a Girl.’

With Google and the excitement that followed I had almost forgotten our FYP. We had our final review that week, and our final semester exams the week after. I was least bothered about the semester exams, but the half finished FYP was bone chilling.

That was not the case with Shantanu. His software was the highlight of his CII presentation. He helped us out with our project. He hated such purely academic projects. He repeated “Engineering is the art of the application of science, and not to do something for the heck of it.”

But it was obvious that projects that were done 'for the heck of it' were only valued as great by our panel rather than the ones that were innovative application oriented. I do believe only such academic research oriented projects are good for a renowned technological institute like ours.

On the day of the review our project didn’t work as expected, but it did do something proving that the 100s of lines of our code does have life. We explained with jargons with presentation charms and created a scene like we have invented something big.

The panel seemed to understand the efforts we had taken, and they nodded their agreement. They pointed out that if our project really worked perfectly well we would have got an ‘S’. Just as they had said later in the notice board we had an ‘A’ next to our names.

Shantanu right from the beginning had a bad time managing Dr.Sekar without much support from Prof.AP and Prof.Rani. He kept saying, “They can’t fail me. I would at least get an ‘E’ and that’s good enough for me. I know mine is worth a loan of 25Laks.”

But to everyone’s surprise he got an ‘A’. In the review Dr.Sekar had commented his project as ‘people’s project’, and felt sorry that they couldn’t award an ‘S’ as it was not a research oriented project. The panel congratulated him on his loan, and promised all help in patenting his software, and any future help they could do with his venture.

People were bugging me asking for ‘treat’, and a really big one. I badly wished I treat them in Barbique Nation as I felt very crest fallen the other day when Microsoft people treated there. But people were bored of that restaurant, and they couldn’t afford to cut classes in the afternoon for lunch in the last few working days of college.

Finally we zeroed in on a Chettinad Restaurant. People enjoyed themselves as barbarians. Shantanu was counting the number of species he had. I was enjoying the site of people feasting. I just had some noodles, and had ice creams over and over again just for the sake of not sitting idle.

Shantanu and Anu sitting opposite to me were teasing me, teaching animal anatomy with every dish. Till that day I only knew Chinese people had so many species to eat. That day I was enlightened to the fact that South Indians had more than a dozen different vertebrates in their menu, and had dozens of ways to cook them.

We had the entire first floor booked for us with not less than 50 people. Preparing the guest list in itself had been as hectic as preparing our 0th review project proposal. Finally every guest followed Anu and Drank for the colorful future of the hosts Thanu, Shantanu and I.

We were done with our FYPs and the only thing that was left with college was our 8th semester exams. We had less than 2 weeks of college left. We enjoyed ourselves, and slam books were flying across the classroom. People wrote essays for each other, as many people preferred blank slam books to pre-formatted ones.

On the evening of our last working day we had our farewell, and thanks giving to our faculty. Our juniors had arranged a smaller auditorium in our campus for the event. They were enthusiastic about the event, and gave cues that we have surprises.

On the evening of the farewell, we were all enthusiastically assembled in the hall. A few members of the faculty were early and occupied the front seats. In sometime almost every teacher from our dept who handled classes for us assembled in the hall. It really would have been bit of a scary thing, but we felt something the opposite, though we had 4 more exams, and as always our fates still in their hands.

Initially we had a few cultural events by our juniors. A few professors whistled at a dance performance by junior girls like they were in a cinema theater. In course of time we had mingled ourselves with the faculty.

A few gutful 4th years had called for events for Faculty participation. The first one was Anthakshari where there were two teams both fully comprised of professors and lecturers. We never knew our teachers could sing so well.

The next one was a bit more than just fantasy, when a few professors danced on stage including our HOD. It was a blissful site. The most feared and respected Prof.AP did take a few steps for her part.

It was time for the last event of the day arranged by our juniors. They called the names of popular pairs in the 4th years. First one was Krishna and Sundari. Sundari hid herself amongst the girls, but could not keep herself hidden when professors themselves called her on stage.

Both of them blushed wide and Krishna “We were just good friends nothing more”. At least he said that, while Sundari was lost for words. Finally she managed to call Krishna as “bro” with a big ‘O’ response from everyone.

Next one was Preethi and Vijay followed by Raja and Revathi. They too blushed and managed a few fuzzy words. I was now practically shivering because there was no doubt the next one would be us. I was wondering whether Shantanu could be found at least in a 100meters range of the auditorium.

But to my great surprise he walked confidently to the stage when our names were called. The MC commented as “The best pair in the history of our college.” I was in a dilemma whether to walk up the dais or to run away.

Adding to my nervousness they played the song ‘Teri Ore’ in the background. I was suspicious whether Shantanu had a part in that plot. Amidst all my classmates, juniors and faculty I walked up the stage throwing sideways glances at Shantanu reading his expressions.

I was shivering. Shantanu briskly got hold of the cordless microphone. “I am happy that all of you are here to witness this important moment of my life.”

I always stayed cool when someone stared at us when we walked together. But this was entirely different. Every word of him echoed inside my empty heart as all blood was drained out of it.

My First Cooking Expedition (XCII)

2009-09-11T21:09:00.002+05:30

Reviewed by Lakshminarashiman.

It must have just dawned, when I felt mild disturbances in the bedroom. Shantanu was dressing up. The kitty doll was glittering in the morning sun as he buttoned over it. I was too drowsy to speak clearly.

“hmmm wahrra uu goin?” I yawned wide.

“To the groceries, to get something for breakfast.”

Just then it dawned on me. Though he said he felt gratified by seeing me have dinner, he really didn’t have anything worth while. I felt so bad about myself. ‘How selfish and senseless of me!!!’

“What are you going to get?”

“Hmmm.. Maggie. I think that’s the best thing to get it cooked fast.” Saying this he left the room.

I was feeling awful. It was good when he cooks and cares for me like my mom. Mom’s words echoed in me. “It’s a pleasure to cook for the ones you love.” ‘Don’t I love him?’ ‘Am I not supposed to be the one who should be cooking when he is really hungry?’

‘Well cooking noodles is no big deal’ I told myself. Anyway I was dubious about whether I could do it properly. I ran to the drawing room and started scourging for my mobile phone. I had thrown it somewhere there last night.

Finally I found it in a shelf near the TV stand. It showed 54 missed calls. I haven’t switched back the mobile to loud mode since the previous day’s interviews. ‘Must be felicitation from friends and relatives.’ ‘No space for new messages’ was flashing.

I was in no mood to care about all that. I then badly wanted to know from an expert cook on, how to cook Maggie noodles. ‘Whom shall I call?’ ‘Mom?’ ‘No’ she will bug me with millions of questions on why I need to know this all of a sudden. ‘Grand ma?’ ‘Mom would have been a better option.

Finally I zeroed in on Anu. “Hey I immediately want to know how to cook Maggie?’

“What?? Where are you people? The entire college is in pursuit of knowing about this.”

“Don’t exaggerate. Anyway I don’t care. First tell me..”

She gave me ‘A complete audio guide on how to cook Maggie noodles’ and also ‘10 things you need to care about when you cook noodles’. The funny thought of making Anu a part time cooking recipe writer did cross my mind.

As soon as he entered, he went straight to the kitchen. I pulled him out and sat him in the dinning table. “I will cook for you.”

The apprehension on his face was more than obvious, but he didn’t protest. He sat with a sigh. I hurried to the kitchen, and fumbled for the vegetable cutter. He had bought carrots and tomatoes, but Anu said nothing about tomatoes.

‘What difference does it gonna make?’ I just started slicing the carrots with my hands shivering. I stopped well before 3/4th of the carrot. He was watching me from the dinning hall. This made me more nervous.

I put the sliced vegetables in the non-stick vessel, and added water and the raw noodles to it. After sometime I noticed that the color was still pale. I wondered what was wrong. Only then I realized that I haven’t added the contents of the flavoring packets.

‘Sh*t’ I hurriedly emptied the contents into the vessel before the water would all evaporate. In my nervousness I dropped the packets into the vessel. In an attempt to take it out immediately, I plunged my fingers into the vessel.

‘Ouch’ that hurt. That really hurt. Shantanu came charging into the kitchen.
“No one in their right senses will plunge their fingers into boiling water.”

He reduced the flame, and used a spoon to carefully take the packet out. I was blowing air from my mouth on the tip of my finger. “You are not supposed to do that.”

He took my hands and showed it in tap water. “How could they take in someone with no common sense into Google?”

‘Common sense’ I have heard dad say this word a million times. I was happy that he was very loving like mom, but why does he also have to be as annoying as dad at times.

We had breakfast with I struggling with my left hand as my right one still hurt. He didn’t seem to be minding this, as he ate like he would starve to death.

After finishing his plate he came to me. I wondered whether he was about to eat from my plate. Just then he took the spoon from me and started feeding me like I was a two yr old. The funny thought of making him a home maker lingered in me for the next couple of days. When I told this to Anu and Divya, they laughed and commented that I can completely relinquish the responsibility of being a mother, to him.

After breakfast we watched TV for a while. “We gotta leave to college.”

I was thoroughly puzzled and annoyed. “Why?? It’s Saturday today, and even if it was Monday when did you start minding about bunking classes?”

“See already people would have speculated about what we were doing. It’s high time we get back to campus.”

“I don’t give a damn about what those morons think. My friends will understand. They were the ones, who stood by me even during hard times.”

“But I do give that damn. Get ready.” It was clearly a command, and I don’t think someone ever tried to argue over the terminating statement of Shantanu.

I reluctantly got ready, and we boarded back to campus. Shantanu was feeling very uneasy walking with me in the campus. I was thoroughly enjoying the sight of him blushing at everyone, who smiled at him. None failed to notice us regardless of whether or not I ever remember seeing them in college before, or may be I was assuming things.

I teased him by holding his hands, whenever he tried to distance himself from me when he saw someone he knew coming from the other direction. When an NCC platoon crossed us during their warm up jogs, I bet they did crane their necks to have a look at us.

The captain or some guy, who headed the cadets, gave a sardonic smile at Shantanu. Shantanu matched the brick red color of our campus’s age old building.

“I would better go to the canteen, you go to the hostel.”

“Why?” I asked him knowing the reason very well.

“I don’t want people to look at us like that.”

I put my hands on my hips. “Like what? Are you going to marry me or not?”

“Yes but..”

“Why the hell you care about them? Why do you want to hide our love from them?”

He didn’t protest again. We walked together until the safety threshold of our hostel warden. I wondered whether she was ignorant of our affair.

As soon as he left I regretted taking that tone to him. He was naturally a shy type person in this regard. ‘Why should I have to make him feel uneasy unnecessarily?’

I forgot this regret and everything else for that matter, when I entered the hostel. The excitement filled every molecule of air around me. Girls from all years had circled me. Not just about my Google as well as about Shantanu’s success in getting loan for his venture, and our mysterious disappearance last night.

Life had become a fantasy all over again. We have become college celebrities once and for all.

Moonlit Midnight (XCI)

2009-09-04T18:44:00.002+05:30

Reviewed by Lakshminarasimhan and Shahaan.

I was awake in the middle of the night. I knew I was no more the sweet little daughter of my father, but I had become the best part of an ambitious business leader, who had won my heart.

Rather than feeling apprehension, fear or anxiety, I felt pride and joy in what I had done.
For all those days, I had experienced the warmth of love only externally. I will cherish that moment for the rest of my life, when I first felt this warmth spread into me.

I could see his face in the moonlight from the window. He had cuddled next to me. He must have been tired of the journey, and the weary day. I didn’t want to wake him. Not just because I didn’t want to disturb his deep sleep, but I was admiring him sleep like a cute infant ignorant of everything else on earth.

Something was lurching in my intestines. It took me time, before I could realize I was feeling hungry. I barely had lunch the previous day, and had nothing but ice-creams for dinner. I got up covering myself with a blanket shielding myself from the air-conditioners freezing cold.

I felt very weak out of exhaustion, cold and hunger. I walked to the kitchen and fiddled with the utensils to no avail. The fridge had nothing worth being called ‘something to eat’, but a loaf. I was let down, and the blanket slipped off me as my shoulders slumped.

Before the cold could conquer me, a pair of hands embraced me from behind, covering me from the cold, and charging me with his warmth. He kissed my ear.

“Are you hungry sweetheart?”

I badly wished that Shantanu could do some magic, and prepare dinner out of nothing. I helplessly told him, “Ya I am”, in a pleading tone.

He took my shoulders, and guided me to the drawing room, seated me on the couch, switched on the TV, and gave the remote to me. Covering me with the blanket, “Just keep watching something interesting, I will be back in a moment.”

I was anxious of what he could do with the stuff at home. I couldn’t wait, not just to have something, but also to see his magic.

I just ruffled through channels, nothing interesting at the middle of the night. I was not fancied by TV programs even during the day. I could hear him doing something.

After around fifteen minutes, he came into the drawing room. He played some melodious music, and took my hand, and guided me towards the dinning hall.

While we were near the entrance way he closed my eyes from behind. He took his hands of my eyes, when I was near the dinning table. There was a pair of lit candles at the center of the table.

A plate of toasts with their sweet scent filling my nostrils was at one end of the table, two crates of ice-creams to the right of the plate, and a glass on the left. Another glass with tissues was at the centre. Two different spoons were on a tissue to the right of the plate, and a knife on a tissue to the left.

It looked like a setup in a five star hotel candle light dinner. He pulled the chair back from the table for me to sit. Taking a piece of the toast he applied ice-cream on it with the knife. I was shaking with saliva failing to stay behind my lips.

I controlled myself from grabbing it from his hands. I trying hard to be polite, slowly took it from his hands, and stuffed it into my mouth. I was in no mood to savor the taste for the first couple of toasts. Only on the 3rd one I realized how delicious it tasted.

“How did you do this?”

“I found some ghee in the refrigerator, and sugar in the kitchen. If only I had milk the toast would have been better.”

I couldn’t wait for the fourth. After stuffing a fifth one, I felt dried out. I took a sip from the glass to my left. It was neither water, nor some drink I had ever tasted before. In the dim candle light I failed to notice that it was red in color.

“What’s this?”

“I must admit your grand pa has a classic taste.”

“What?”

“Last time we were here, I found this in one of the closets in the other bedroom. I wondered whether it would still be there. Luckily it was.”

“Ok but what’s it?”

“How does it taste?”

“Not bad, but..”

“Red wine, possibly imported, must cost a good deal.”

“Wine!!! You don’t mind drinking..”

“Just because I hate something, I couldn’t force it on you. This doesn’t do you any harm unlike vodka. After all life is all about keeping each other happy.”

Truly I felt what a luxury drink was. The drink was awesome. I was timid to ask for more, and take too much advantage of his good mood, but I gathered courage to.

“It’s good. Can I have some more…” I asked him in a pleasing softer tone.

“It’s not good to have more than a glass a day. Anyway if you could answer your grandpa, I have no objection tonight.” He smiled. Answering my puzzled expression he continued.

“The few mls you had now must cost in thousands, must be a gift from someone. Your grandpa had already used up a little. Let’s pray that he doesn’t find the slight decrease.”

“He already had part of the drink?”

“Ya, may be he didn’t want to use it all at a time. How often does he use this place?”

“Once in a month at least, he would come on business to meet some people. During elections he will be here often.”

“What if he bumps in all of a sudden tomorrow?”

I could sense the slight apprehension on his face. “Don’t worry about that darl. Every-time he comes here, grandma will call me, asking me what she shall send me through grandpa.”

“How sweet of your grandma” he said with a sardonic smile.

Only when I had the first bite of the last toast, I realized that he hadn’t any dinner either. I looked up. He was sitting opposite to me, admiring my barbaric feast.

“Don’t you want to have something?”

“I feel more than just filled seeing you eat.” He simpered.

We had a few more crates of ice-creams, mostly in the intention of finishing them off, than enjoying them.

We went to bed, cuddling next to each other. We spent the night talking of sweet things. Just before dozing off, I asked the usual question a girl would ask her boy friend, after doing something that she is not supposed to do before marriage, and this is one occasion, and the only occasion in the history of mankind, when a girl asks “Will you marry me?”

It’s also a fact that the answer would be undoubtedly ‘yes’ regardless of whether or not the guy really meant it. But the truth in his ‘yes’ was unambiguously obvious.

In the Dazzling Darkness (XC)

2009-09-01T22:23:00.003+05:30

Reviewed by Lakshminarashiman and Shahaan.

I was standing amidst an endless crowd. I could feel nothing but something more than just exotic. Once in a while I did feel a few hard squeezes of palms, and a few palms tapping on my back and shoulders.

My vision was blurred. I couldn’t completely take in the reality. Somewhere a few meters away from me in my misty vision, I could see Thanu in a similar conundrum of handling the cheers.

I badly wished Shantanu to be there at the moment. Anu made futile attempts to bring me back to my senses. I could very well sense what she was doing. If only I could pull my soul back into my body I would have been able to respond to her.

After what looked like a partial coma for a while, finally I was able to hear Anu, “Look there..” she was pointing her finger to the far end of the crowd, towards the silhouette of a person leaning against the wall with his hands crossed across his chest.

Even in the twilight, the sweet unambiguous smile was not difficult for me to identify. I pushed across the crowd, and reached him. His posture didn’t change, and he was still smiling at me. A drop of tear trickled down my cheeks.

First time I gave some expression on what has just happened. I smiled back.

“We did it.” He said boisterously.

Amidst my madness it took not more than a second for me to learn what he meant. Before I could ask him, he continued, “25Laks sanctioned for our presence in Chennai and Bangalore. Shantanu will be proprietor of a business right out of college.” With his pop prideful smile.

I was undoubtedly the happiest person on earth at that moment. I couldn’t find something to drain my booming bliss. I felt like I would explode. I wanted to get out, before I could do something stupid when half the college was there.

“Get me out of here.” I told him.

He grabbed the Google kit from my hands and thrust it onto Anu; grabbed my hands and started hurrying me off the crowd.

We reached my gramps’ guest house. No sooner than the door hinges sealed back behind us we were sealed together. After something like five minutes, I was lying on the couch panting, Shantanu lying on the floor near the couch.

“I-am-the-happieee-sst-man on-earth” he took deep breaths between words. We both were laughing. I was staring at the ceiling hearing our laughs echo across the length of the hall. We spent an eternity just lying.

“You know something I felt like I saw you just before going for the final round.”

He laughed louder. “You actually saw me. I was right there.”

“What would we been doing now if I had not got in?”

“Hmmm.. instead of ice-creams we might have been having vodka.” He simpered.

“What! You would have let me have vodka if I failed?”

“Well I think so.”

“You should have told me this before” He jumped up on the couch wild, but this time I pushed him aside, may be because I was still panting or I was too timid to go further.

He didn’t protest. He got up, and said “I will go get something for us.”

“Do you honestly feel like having something now?” I asked rechecking my intestines whether there was any little gap that was left unoccupied by my over-flowing bliss.

“Well, not if you had let me have you.” He simpered back, and walked out of the door. It took me a while to make out the meaning. When I did, the thought that Shantanu could make such statements made me smile.

I was feeling so weary after such a long day. I took a refreshing cold shower. When I walked out of the bathroom I was almost shivering, the air-conditioner had reached the set temperature of 16 degrees. I dressed up in my night gown, and was wondering what was talking him so long.

The bell rang and he had a big package in his hand. He stepped in and emptied the contents on the couch. I couldn’t count them all, but I bet there must have been more than a couple dozen family packs of different flavors of ice-creams.

“What on earth are these?”

“Ice-creams” he winked. “My debit card could only buy this much.”

I keeping my hands on my hips, “I learnt what ice-creams are, when I was in my KGs.”

“Then why do you ask?” He smiled unsealing a pack. “Tonight, we party.”

We were in a mad spree of finishing off the packs. I badly wanted to do something mad since that evening. I didn’t care about the spoons and used my fingers to empty the crates. After finishing somewhere around half a dozen crates in a mad race to finish more than the other, we gave up.

We sat on the floor in the middle of the ice-cream crates. With half our skin and clothes covered with ice cream. I was feeling like I had grown younger by 15yrs.

We placed the crates into the freezer. Our faces were half white with the cream, and a few plums here and there. We would have made perfect examples of what would it be to let a couple of 3yr olds uncontrolled access to ice-creams.

Shantanu’s romantic music collections were playing pleasantly. ‘…..but Iiiiii can’t help, falling in love with you….” We were determined to make it more than just a memorable day.

I had my left arm on his shoulder with his right around my waist. We were dancing in a blissful shower of music ‘…somethings are meant to be… take my hand. For..’. I joined the artist, “I can’t stop falling in love with you.” I gently told his left ear with the air from my lungs reaching beyond his pinna.

He picked a plum from my cheek with his lips. We were cleaning each other off the creams like cute little puppies. This childish play gradually turned to gentle caressing. Night crept over, filling darkness all-over the place.

The last thing I remember in that dazzling darkness was the last piece of my clothing slip away from my skin.

Elvia and the Deathly Hollows (LXXXIX)

2009-08-28T23:08:00.001+05:30

Already Posted.
Dedicated to JKR for her legendary Harry Potter series.

I crossed the first 3 rounds with ease. Not more than 9 candidates managed to reach the 4th round. It looked like even if they eliminate one person per round there will be none to attend the 13th round.

The day ended with a 4th programming round with the results being postponed to the next day. Shantanu kept calling me every half an hour that day. Finally, that night on his good night call, I made it clear to him.

“You are not calling me again until you are back in town. Keep all your concentration on your presentation. I swear I will not talk to you for the rest of our lives, if you ever attempted to know what’s going on here until you are back into campus.”

“But rather than speculating on your success I would feel more comfortable to know what’s going on.”

I knew he was right, but what if I were chucked out in one of those rounds. It’s better for him to speculate, than he really knowing that, I failed him. After all he had dreamt of this almost all through his life. I was unable to be the kind of girl friend, who would inspire and support him in getting his dreams to reality. I at least didn’t want to be the other kind.

As if reading my thoughts he concluded the conversation, “Whatever happens whether or not you continue to be a topper; get placed in Google you will always be the one person whom I love the most ever. I will put the best of my efforts to the work in hand. Love you.”

He hung up. I felt more nervous than strengthened at this response. I badly wanted to do it, to see the sweet smile on his face, which was warmer than a mother’s hug. I badly wanted to say about me getting placed in the company, which he admires the most. I was afraid of letting him down. I wondered whether I ever cared about anything in my life, like I did about that placement before, or ever will I do hereafter.

I doubted, whether Shantanu ever cared about promises. If only it were like an unbreakable vow*, he would have considered it with a tad of seriousness. But he still valued my words, and stopped calling me the next day; nevertheless I doubted that, he was really clueless of my progress, as the whole college kept a watch over the process.

I rarely had a doubt that, I would ever be put out in the 4th round as my programs worked pretty well, and I had completed it well before deadline. Next day morning the results were already on the notice board. Two of the nine were eliminated leaving behind a magical number* of us for the 5th.

As there were very little of us left, the proceedings sped up. I was wondering how did Shantanu do with his presentation, but I didn’t risk calling him. With this thought I walked into the interview room.

The two interviewers smiled at me warmly, and asked me to take my seat. They were unusually warm, which made the back flips in my stomach fiercer. There were initially a few normal questions natural of a technical interview. In quite a few minutes the questions started to go all creepy.

“I see you are doing your final year project on image processing. Well tell me-” He was looking for my name in the file, “-ah Elvia. How would you use Image processing to identify, particles in, say, a conveyor belt of milk packets.”
“I-I would-”, shuddering for words.

Other interviewer cut me short, “Tell me, how you would cut out a sphere out of this pen?” I was profusely sweating.

A couple more of such questions, and they didn’t make any sense to me. I was both confused and daunted. I felt like being attacked by a couple of dementors*, sitting less than a couple foots away from me, draining me of every last bit of hope.

Unpleasant thoughts of me standing in our department, looking at the notice board, which reassuringly told me, I had an arrear; me standing before the placement cell not being allowed to attend Microsoft; Shantanu telling me, he will not be contesting for Presidency; everything flashed in my mind. Worse it was, when I thought, I would face Shantanu, telling him I didn’t make it.

I took a leaf out of Rowling’s Harry Potter. ‘I now need a Patronus*’ I told myself. I concentrated on pleasant things like the time when Shantanu opened his heart to me, and the first Vodka adventure with my best buddies, and Shantanu’s voice consoling me that whatever happens he would always love me.

In a matter of milliseconds I was filled with enormous confidence. I started answering them. My answers were equally non-sense as the questions were. I didn’t shudder this time. I used terms and methodologies that God only knows exists.

I was enjoying profoundly, putting the shoe on the other foot. I enjoyed the site of them gaping like fishes at the terms I used. I mused, whether they were getting annoyed or impressed. I didn’t care. I kept telling myself, ‘I can’t let a couple of wankers stress me out.’

I walked out of the interview, with my nose high in the air, as I was still obsessed, not to show anyone I was weak.

“How did it go?”

“Huh cake walk.” I at least wanted to keep up the spirit till the results.

“You know what? Priya came out, almost filled with tears. Looks like, it’s a stress interview. Deepak’s face was drawn with horror.”

I know that too well, from those stupid questions. I reckoned I managed it pretty well, at least better than those two.

I was soon proved right. Further rounds were equally tough, and there were only 3 of us left for the 9th round, as Krishna was chucked out in the previous HR one, supposedly on grounds of attitude problems.

I was skeptically relived, when the HR person said, there would be only one more round left. I looked forward for that one round, waiting outside the placement cell as Thanu proceeded in leaving behind Guru and me.

How moronic could your tastes get???

2009-08-25T22:16:00.009+05:30

First time ever, I am writing a post in this blog on a general topic, and this would definitely be the last such post. Kindly bear with me for a good cause.

"...10% of the richest adults in the world own as much as 85% of the world's household worth, while the bottom 50% has to contend only with 1%."
-A UNDP report.

I will keep it short. When some moronic concept like spider-man or bat-man could be blockbusters, why not something that’s more logical; realistic and thought provoking movie like KANDASAMY be one?

What’s there so funny about a kollywood movie made with Hollywood concepts. I perfectly agree kollywood is not even a 100th a part of Hollywood, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t dream big.

Helping someone from robbery in a million populated city is highly stupid than saving a family after knowing the dangers in advance. Emerging unhurt from an explosion is highly insensible than fighting off a dozen people.

There could have been many such movies or novels on this same subject for 100s of times before. THIS ONE IS UNIQUE.

I am seriously very worried about the taste, and the type of admiration we people have developed over the years. People like a lot of stupid stuff, yes of course a little like some crap like I write in this same blog. I do appreciate the literary interest people show over this kind of stuff, but how could someone ever comment ill about some movie like KANDASAMY.

I am not bothered about losing my credibility, consistency or any shit for that matter. I feel satisfied and contented in promoting a legendary thing like this.

The movie is the need of the era, when corporates spend infinitesimal on CSR just for the heck of it, and brothers fight over dollars in decimals, when in half the world people consider a penny as precious.

At this juncture I swear. I SWEAR ON KANDASAMY (God) if at all, by any chance I get this crap published as a book, I will donate AT THE LEAST 50% of the money I make to a selfless good cause, and will put AT THE MOST efforts in using the rest to make more wealth to help more people.

P.S. Even if I lose readers, or get ill-comments or anything for that matter. I have got enough satisfaction in posting this one post than all the other posts I had ever posted as Elvia or the real me.

The Great Day the G-Day (LXXXVIII)

2009-08-25T09:54:00.001+05:30

Unreviewed.

Already posted.

I made the best of my preparations in those 4 days. Anu who was quite satisfied with Mic had no intention of attending Google. She also bunked classes for the days, and did the best she could do to help me with my preparations. Unlike my room at home our hostel room was much smaller for us stick important points on the wall.

Even while going down for mess Anu used to discuss algorithms or data structures with me. She shared her Microsoft interview experiences with me, nevertheless Google’s recruitment procedures, where knottier with 13 vicious rounds.

Not more than 30students attended the first round in spite of the relaxed eligibility criteria. People clearly didn’t want to make futile attempts. It looked like Google either ignored the past for the present or they had enough rounds to eliminate people or may be both.

I completed my first round of writing test, and was waiting for the results. Anu and Shantanu by my side, with Anu giving me pitfalls in a technical interview, and Shantanu with his shrewd experiences on body language.

I was very much bored of those redundant guidelines, yet I didn’t want to snub or hurt the feelings of the two souls who cared for me the most. Divya left to class with a warm ‘Good Luck.’

Shantanu barked over his phone, “I-told-you. I got something very important down here” and he hung up.

“Who was on the phone?” a confused Anu asked him.

”Well nothing. I go get you a water bottle.” He left, throwing his mobile on my lap feeling lazy to push it down his taut pocket of his faded jean.

In no time the mobile rang again. I hesitated for a moment, and then picked it up. Before I could say something a voice burst out, “If at all you want to get this done, you must get down here to Bangalore right away.”

I weekly ventured, “hello…hmm.. I am Elvia, Shantanu’s friend. He is not here at the moment.”

“Oh he has started avoiding me like this. Very well then. Just say this to him. ‘Go to hell with your entrepreneurial ideas.’”

“Hey, hey, hang on. What did you just say?”

“Whatever.”

“Please tell me. What have you got to do with his entrepreneurial ideas?”

“Oh so you really don’t know. Well listen. I am supposed to be his business partner in his dream Fund Management Firm. We have an appointment with the CII tomorrow regarding the initial investment loans.”

“Oh my goodness! I never knew.”

“And you call yourselves his friend. Get lost you people…”

“Hey hold on-hold on a bit. What did Shantanu tell you?”

“He asks me to take care of it myself.”

“But Shantanu wouldn’t be so careless about his ambitions.”

“Oh, is it? You bet.”

“He says you can handle this, can’t you?”

“F**K. If only I had his charms. I would never be able to convince the panel all by myself. It was basically his idea, and no one else can ever make it out as avidly and vividly like him. Anyway tell him that I am not making any futile attempts. If he comes we go, or I am just dropping it.”

“Hmm.. Well you have my word. He will be there for sure. Don’t give up preparations.”

Shantanu came back with the water bottle in a minute. He clearly had seen me talk over his phone.

“Is that Prabhakaran?”

“Ya it is. I want you to leave to Bangalore.” I said in a slow and stressed tone.

“What? I am not going anywhere.”

“You are.” I snarled back. “If at all you want me to continue with my next round.”

He considered his options. “But that moron-can’t he handle that. What has he learned in IIMB for all these days?”

“IIMB! Oh well I think it’s you, who told me education has nothing to do with skill. I don’t care whether he is from IIMB or whatever. I don’t want to make myself guilty of you losing your dreams. Get going now.”

He looked back at me for a moment, and shifted his gaze to Anu, “Take care”

I really felt a little fallen at the loss of his company. It would have been really good for him to stay by my side. For the greater good, and for his life’s dreams, and for an ambition that was more sensible than mine, I let him go.

I stepped into the hall for my second round, praying God for both our ventures.

Goggie Goggie Google(LXXXVII)

2009-08-24T08:37:00.001+05:30

Not a day passed without me and Shantanu talking to each other sitting side by side, yet always with a little distance, as we stopped meeting at isolated places. I would patiently be listening to his rantings about what would he be in 5yrs time; what kind of home we will live in; what sort of car he would be driving.

“-when my Bentley stops at the entrance of a Taj Hotel, the manager will come to the doors to greet me and- “

I never cared whether it’s a Bentley or a BMW, all I did was to dissolve myself in the bliss of his company in every second I spent with him.

It was one such evenings, when I walked down to meet him, he came running to me, panting, “Google- placements- 14laks- next week”

All the air in the campus was suddenly filled with Google. One could very well see, smell, hear Google anywhere and everywhere in the campus. It was the second time Google came for campus recruitment. They had come after 2 yrs. The last time they came, they went back without even recruiting a single soul.

Not just 4th yr Computer science students everyone from every year and every department got too worked up, waiting to see the person who would make history. People couldn’t contain their excitement. People have started to speculate about that would be legend.

People who already got placed in dream companies where also allowed to attend Google as it was given a Super-Dream status. After over six months my name hit gossips along with Microsoft fame names Thanu and Anu.

I clearly had winnowed out, that, I will not be attending Google like I hadn’t any other placement. I told a foiled Shantanu, that I had no intention of leaving him. I wanted to work with him in Infy, and what else they may very well put the arrear constraint once again.

5 days before that great day, we met as usual. After a few minutes of disturbed rantings he ventured, “I urged our placement rep Surrendar to call up the HR person in Google, and get the eligibility criteria confirmed with him-”

I didn’t respond. Boosted up by my silence, he continued, “He confirmed that it wouldn’t be a problem to have a history of arrear- The HR person said as long as someone doesn’t have an arrear they can attend.” He stressed on the word ‘have’. I gave him a disdainful stare.

“Not just that. He had also confirmed this with the placement cell authorities that the eligibility criteria will not change for sure. It’s only people with current arrears; history is not taken into consideration.”

I got up, thoroughly miffed, “How many times should I tell you? If at all you want to marry someone, who will work in Google or earn 14laks per annum, well good-bye then” and I stormed away.

Within a few strides I regretted my words badly. I reached my room amongst my urging friends, who never stopped nagging me to give it a try.

“It’s all you could do to prove your love to Shantanu-” “He needs no proof.” I retorted. “Well I don’t mean proof but, ya you would love to make him happy, won’t you?” Divya uttered in a desperate last attempt.

I just frowned. Later that night the thoughts kept reeling in my mind. I felt a strong resentment about myself. I had ignored Shantanu’s good night call. I was rolling on my bed. A feeling of deep rancor lurched inside my intestines.

I reluctantly picked my mobile. Called Shantanu, my heart banging, “Hi honey” the words shuddered a little.

“Hi sweetheart”

“Hmm..” I groped for words, “Do you really want me to attempt Google?”

“Hmmm… not if you don’t want to...”

I waited in silence. He weekly added, “Nevertheless I will…”

“If that is what will make you happy…” I took a deep breath.

“Hey I have got contacts of people, who recently got placed in Google”

“You wanker. You.. you were hoping that I will finally give up”

“What then? I can’t let this ‘one in a life time’ opportunity to slip off.”

“You talk as if it were you.”

“You or me, it never matters darl. Well so let us start working on making Mrs.Shantanu a computing wizard at Google.”

It sounded good, but my chances were unlikely. I had long given up assiduous academics. There was less than a week’s time. Most of them were already half-way into preparation.
Most of them had scored better than myself in the 7th sem exams, and what more they had become better at placements and stuff with astute hard-work and with a good deal of experience in attending placements within and outside campus.

I had already heard people say that Google used to give very high importance to the candidate’s academic excellence. I worried about the history I made. The last thing I wanted was another debacle. Nevertheless I wanted to give my best to the one person, who mattered to me the most in the all the universe.

Kindly Note

2009-08-23T14:24:00.010+05:30

My Dear Friends,

In an attempt to keep you satisfied, and give you an interesting read,I had made a few inclusions (incidents that I previously considered not to include) and improvements. Hence, I had to delete the 3 posts after 'Touching Temptation' viz
Numb Nonsense
Goggie Goggie Google
The Great day the G-day
Elvia and the Deathly Hallows.

I have included a few posts and replaced the previous posts as
Frustratingly Frigid
The Dazzling Date
A typical Indian Movie Scene
The Blithe Spirit
Goggie Goggie Google /yet to be posted./
The Great day the G-day /yet to be posted./
Elvia and the Deathly Hallows. /yet to be posted./

I deeply regret the inconvenience caused, and will take immense care to avoid any such mix-ups in the future.
Thank U for bearing with me.

Yours Lovingly,
Ur Elvi

P.S. Those who feel the post 'A Typical Indian Movie Scene' as 'Made-up' or 'dramatised' kindly refer to this link. I don't want you people to mistake me as a dramatic writer of far fetched things.
http://www.thehindu.com/2009/06/27/stories/2009062759040300.htm

The Blithe Spirit (LXXXVI)

2009-08-23T00:13:00.002+05:30

Unreviewed.

I had already posted part of this post earlier. Due to a small inclusion I had to delete the old one and have re-posted it. Kindly bear with the confusion. A reference to the post titles of the last 4-5 posts will do. Thank you.

Dad spoke normally. But I felt there was something strange in the way he spoke. I convinced myself that I was assuming things.

I couldn’t bear mom and dad urging me to attend a dream placement. So I resorted to go to Bangalore to do interns in the company in which I already did interns after my fourth semester exams.

Unfortunately Manikandan was sent to Germany on an onsite contract. Gokul who replaced Manikandan as Team leader was only too eager to welcome me, and he readily accepted my application to do interns.

I was skeptical, and I asked Shantanu about it. “There is nothing to worry about. He will be fine. You take up the interns for the good.” Shantanu told me reassuringly.

As said the interns went on pretty well, and Gokul was engaged to a girl, who was working in another team in the same company. The amiability and genial treatment of the team members was the same.

Anu was doing interns with Microsoft. We both stayed together. We hung around the city almost every evening. In less than a week we had explored almost every single store in MG road.

On a Saturday we completed our exploration of the Lido mall with a matinee in the theatre watching Singh is King. The next day Shantanu came to Bangalore.

I was really missing him in just a week’s time. I was excited about meeting him after a week, as if that was my first ever date. However effectively the technological developments have shrunken the gaps, nothing can match the bliss of talking to him with his eyes wetting me with love, and the warmth of sitting next to him.

Shantanu and I started as early as possible to Lalbagh. We walked through the serene beauty of the botanical garden, the man-made beauty of Mother Nature. There were quite a few people in the park, and we enjoyed the deserted beauty in the company of each other.

To keep myself warm in the December cold, or in the excuse of keeping me warm I let my left arm bind tightly to his right, and hold on to him keeping myself as close to him as possible. Shantanu had a tinge of uneasy feel in such acts of love in public places, but I didn’t mind making him feel queasy.

We sat on a park bench. I never let loose of my hold on him. “Seriously dear, do you have any intention of breaking loose my arm from my shoulders?” he said with a sardonic smile.

I frowned, and let go of his hand. He turned to his bag, and pulled out a cute little pink teddy bear with a red heart tied to its neck. He gave it to me with a grin. “Open it.”

Just then I noticed it was not a doll, but a hand bag. I anxiously opened the bag for surprises like a kid opening her Christmas presents. All I found was a pocket hard-disk. I frowned.

“Er- sorry I couldn’t think of any useful present for a computer science engineer.” He told me with all the color drain out of his face with an embarrassment strained smile. He looked like a kid, who was caught red handed by his mom while stealing candies.

I broke out a laugh at his expression. “You could have very well stopped with this hand bag this is cute in itself, why do you bother to load me with more storage devices?”

“Well I get such stuff cheap from my uncle’s shop here.” He said with an impish smile.

“You tightwad…” I punched him on his shoulders.

“Ouch that hurts. I at least care to gift you with something..” he stopped at mid sentence.

I turned to my bag, and took out the jewel case. “Open it.”

I could clearly see he was taken back by the 5 gram gold chain with a 7 gram kitty pendent. He was speechless for a few moments staring at the chain, holding the pendent in his palm.

“Are you weighing it or what?”

“Hey…” he swallowed. “How much did this cost?”

“How ill-mannered of you, to ask for the price of a gift?” It was my turn to wear his impish smile.

“Must have costed a good deal, but I have told you not to spend our parents money for each other.”

“This is my own money. You are not the only person who earns. Remember I had already done an intern, and have also been doing free lance projects. You always told me, ‘The best way of spending money is to invest it.’ I also wanted to gift you. So now 2 in1”

He shared my grin. He attempted to put the case in his bag, but I insisted upon him wearing it. “This kitty should always keep reminding you of your rich ambitions.”

We spent the rest of our time walking around the park. After lunch in a near by restaurant he intended to leave, I protested but to no avail. I bid him good bye at the majestic station.

The rest of the days in Bangalore went on with me and Anu having fun, with Anu often teasing me by touching my handbag.

We came back to college, after a fortnight of semester holidays. Shantanu who faintly kept suggesting me to attend a dream placement every now and then fearing my fury was let down by my results.

“What on earth is wrong with you?”

“Nothing” I said casually.

“Nothing” I could feel the heat when he snorted. “You say nothing. After that you have got a 7.8”

“Well why does it matter anyway? I have still passed, and I don’t think Infy would feel bad to take me with that.”

“Stop talking about Infy. Don’t act as if you are satisfied with it. Do you know what this has cost you? Your CGPA is now less than 9. All these years of your shrewd hardwork ..”

“-is worth a shit, and would stop me from attending a placement for one stupid arrear.” I completed the sentence.

“Stop talking about it. There were other companies which pay good, and whose placements won’t mind that ‘stupid arrear’.”

I didn’t respond. After a while he gave up. His shoulders slumped, and he looked at the ground below.

“Honey, you always wanted to score more than me in at least one semester, and you did now. You scored 8.5 this semester. You should feel happy about it. It’s all about making each other happy.”

“Happy!!! At the cost of your grades!”

We left the conversation with that. The semester went on as the previous one, with me staring out of the window dreamily lost all interest in academics. Life seemed so beautiful with nothing to worry about; grades, internals, lessons, notes or anything for that matter. I was a complete blithe spirit.

A Typical Indian Movie Scene (LXXXV)

2009-08-17T16:16:00.000+05:30

Unreviewed.

Shantanu aligned himself into a combating position. He boded me to stand down.

“Hey look at him man, our hero.”

“Ya, guess it is Jackie Chan.”

“No man must be Bruce Lee” gagging loud.

“We intend no harm bro. People who have, have to share with those who don’t.”

“You have a girlfriend, but we-”

Shantanu spoke nothing. A drop of sweat trickled down from his temple.

One guy came near me trying to place his hand on my shoulder. Shantanu gave a turn back kick aimed right to his abdomen. He fell a few feet away.

All the other six jumped towards him trying to over power him. He gave a heavy punch to the one before him. But in an instant I knew it wasn’t going to work.

Another fell away from the mob with a front thrust kick from Shantanu, but a dark guy’s punch caught Shantanu’s nose, blood dribbled down from his nostrils.

I jumped in, and pulled away a taller guy by his arms, and gave a sharp elbow with my left arm across his jaws, and gave a back elbow to the one who was behind me with my right arm. A knee kick on his soft spot was enough for that tall guy. He crouched.

The other 3 guys had almost over powered Shantanu, who was on his back to the ground. I gave a sharp blow to one of those guys spine making him collapse. In less than minutes, two guys had blood on their faces and one guy had a knot of my hair in his fist.

Shantanu’s shirt was torn near the sleeve, and 3 guys lay on the ground immobile, and the others were making a weak fight. Just then we heard the distant blare of siren from a highway patrol vehicle.

Shantanu caught my arm, and pulled me towards the bike. We jumped on the bike and fled the place. We could see the other following suit. I could feel Shantanu’s systole through his back.

He rode the bike in madness. I squeezed his shoulders to comfort him. “It’s alright Shan cool it. Everything is fine. Calm down.” I kept attempting to bring him back to normal, but to no avail.

He narrowly avoided a lorry and 2 sedans. The pleasant blissful journey to the beach was then completely turned into a complete botch. The blood oxytocin was completely replaced by adrenaline.

We reached the highway toll-booth. Shantanu tried his best to keep him cool and act normal. In spite of all those efforts a police official stopped us. I hid the end of my shawl that was strained with the blood from Shantanu’s nostrils.

“What happened to you people?”

“Er—nothing” Shantanu in a cool voice.

“Then why do you people look like hell?”

“Well.. hmm we fell from the bike.” He managed lamely.

“huh? Do you have your driving license?”

“Oh ya, I do.” He showed his DL.

The police Inspector checked the DL for a moment with his gaze passing through our faces. He looked up suddenly in my direction, contemplated for a while before sounding surprised, “Aren’t you the daughter of Mr.Ramanujam Iyengar.” With a quick pause he added, “The General Secretary!”

My pounding heart started exploding. I was musing over what to answer. ‘Does he really know me pretty well?’ ‘Can I just evade saying ‘No I am not’’ ‘If I say yes will he question me what am I doing?’ Neurons were doing parallel processing only to generate more questions than answers.

I had already surpassed the suspicion threshold for a normal answer. It’s high time I gave a reply. I meekly tried, “I mmm I..”

He all of a sudden ignored me, and returned Shantanu’s DL to him. “Be careful you people. You may go.”

I felt relieved for the moment, nevertheless the thoughts about dad and that Inspector of police never left my mind. Shantanu rode the bike in a slower pace till college.

He insisted on me going straight back to hostel, but I didn’t want to leave him alone. I accompanied him to our college health center. He got treated for his bleeding nostrils and a sprain in his leg. Doctor questioned me half a dozen times whether I was alright, with the only response being ‘yes’.

After half a day, we left the health center. Neither of us had anything to eat since morning. We walked to the canteen only for the sake of the other. Both of us were not in a state to feel any hunger.

After having a few reluctant pieces, we walked back to our hostels. I fell on my bed only too exhausted for the day’s impingings to keep me awake. I got up by 8.00PM awaken by an anxious Anu.

“Hey you gotta go to the mess now or you will have to starve through the night.”

After dinner, I sat down on my cot vaguely explaining what had happened. Just then mobile rang with dad’s number flashing.

‘Did that Inspector told dad anything?’ ‘Did he say that I was being sited in the beach road with a guy?’ ‘Was he so sure that it was me?’ or ‘He just said someone like me..’

It wasn’t unusual for dad to call me, but the circumstances! Fear built it’s phantoms that were worse than the reality.

With quivering hands I picked up.

The Dazzling Date (LXXXIV)

2009-08-15T13:57:00.002+05:30

Unreviewed.

We started off from college by 6.30AM. Shantanu had borrowed Rajesh’s pulsar. I gleefully sat at the pillion. Though Shantanu had already told me that his celibacy was over, I still felt uneasy. I gently placed my right arm on his shoulder, and sat not so close to him.

In no-time I was feeling very uncomfortable of not being able to hang on to something. Soon my forehead crashed against the back of his head, when he applied a sudden brake. He stopped the bike.

He turned back, and his visage was as enigmatic as it gets at times. I gaped at him dabbing my forehead with my palm. When I placed my hand again on his shoulder, he took my fingers and guided my right arm around his waist. Then he took my left arm which was resting on my lap and put it around his waist.

He gave a surging acceleration to the bike with the front wheel leaving the ground momentarily, which turned my hold into a tight embrace. My girly features were pressing tightly against every square inch of his back sealing ourselves together. My forefront was peeking over his shoulder, with my ears touching his. My chin brushed against his stubbly cheek.

The moist air brushed against my face. My eyelids losing in their skirmish against the salty wind shed tears. Shantanu stopped the bike, wiping my tears he gave his goggles to me. The ambience of the morning sun, the seclusion of the lonely highway and the chill oceanic air trying to make me shiver to no avail against his bodily warmth all made the ride the most beautiful experience of my life.

After traveling a good distance from the city we stopped at a secluded beach with erosion preventing casuarinas. We parked the bike amidst the casuarinas, and started walking hand in hand, with our grip tightening every second. I was leaning against his arm, and resting my cheek on his shoulders.

Mind was devoid of thoughts. Eyes partially open as I was besotted by the essence of love. The splashing waves were washing over our foot, with their pleasant rhythm. We sat at the sand. I let my head slip over to his lap. He gently caressed my scalp, trying to keep the fluttering strings of my hair in check behind my ear.

“You look gorgeous.” He repeated for the nth time making me blush more every-time, and making my face match the crimson of the morning sun.

We sat there with no sense of time. The sun grew hotter, and we decided to walk back to the bike. We reached the bike. I really didn’t want to leave. I gently placed my hands on his.

He looked at me, our gaze meeting each others. He came near me, and in a flash I felt electricity making a closed circuit at our lips. The first kiss lasted not more than a couple seconds, but I felt like an eternity of virgin bliss.

I felt too timid even to blush, but I saw him in a similar state through the side of my eyes. We both were looking down at each others’ pushers. After what felt like a life time, I gathered the strength to look up. He turned himself to face the beach with his eyes passing momentary glances at my side.

“I.. er..hmm” He fumbled for words. I caught his hand, and gave a reassuring squeeze. Encouraged by the squeeze; the deserted environment; the privacy given by the casuarinas; just when I badly hankered for another kiss, he caught me in a squeezing hug, and kissed me more passionately this time.

The snog grew stronger. His hands moved along the length and breath of my back, often taking refugee at my hips. The gentle caressing, the electro-magnetism attracted me into a tauter embrace, and my hands held tightly to the hair at the back of his head.

I felt heavily doped. I had tears in my eyes, but was not in a shape to muse over the reason. I almost fainted, when he pulled his lips away from mine. He caught me across my waist. Just then I noticed four bikes charge into the casuarinas towards us.

The sense of alarm filled me, with adrenaline flooding my veins. They parked their bikes around us. A total of 7 guys, possibly thugs got down gagging. I was rarely afraid of anything and the least when it came to an encounter with 7 guys, but the circumstances of the encounter alarmed me.

Shantanu stood there holding on to my hand. He showed no sense of fear, though I could feel the quiver from his hold. I felt what it meant by being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

They came closer.

Frustratingly Frigid (LXXXIII)

2009-08-10T20:27:00.003+05:30

Unreviewed.

MODIFIED.

He turned to face me, and politely said, “I do feel like resting my arms on the arm rest. Can you just shift to the next seat, so that both of us can sit comfortably” and he turned back to stare at the screen, and continued to enjoy the movie.

I got all crimsoned, not because I was abashed, but I was burning red hot. I didn’t know, whether he noticed my nettled face in the theatre’s twilight. I wanted to get up, and punch him right on his nose, and even if I did the red drops wouldn’t have drained my face of the blood red color.

I got up, and walked out to the restroom. I washed my face at the sink, and stared at myself in the mirror. My image in the mirror sniggered at me, which bore an impish simper that sardonically said ‘what a good boy-friend he is!’ I wanted to hit my own image. First time in all my life, I felt bad for being a girl.

I mused, whether he really was that numb, or was he trying to be a ‘good boy’, or was he just pretending to be one of the two. After a good time in the rest room trying to wane out my fury, I walked back into the theatre, and sat at the seat next to the seat I was previously seated.

We came back to college in utter silence. While in bus, I sat in a seat next to an old lady, ignoring him. I didn’t talk to him for the rest of the day. He didn’t dare ask me about it.

Next day he casually came to me smiling, “Hi sweetheart.”

Though the fuming fame was not completely put out, I had no other option I said, “Hi” gloomily.

Later I convinced myself it’s all for the good. The semester exams went on as usual. I for the first time in my life took the exams, as a ‘real’ engineering student. I rarely learned those subjects in course of the semester. I was mostly day-dreaming during the classes.

I opened the book only on the day before the exam. Mostly I was asking Anu to give me hints on the subject, with which I can use my writing skills to develop stories. During the first exam, I felt a bit weird, to write answers for questions that I was not so sure of, but during the last exam, I wrote 5 pages of answer for a question, about which I never even had any inkling.

Shantanu on the other hand was booming after every exam. He except for his usual good night with ‘Love you’ rarely talked to me in course of the exam. I badly wanted the exams to end, and by theory the exams somehow came to an end after a couple of weeks.

On the evening of the last exam we met as usual. I was still a bit upset with him. He sensing my apprehension, “I am sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“Hmmm… ya”

“What for?”

“For making you upset.”

I remained silent. ‘All of a sudden he apologizes to me!’ I was questioning myself, ‘when did he discomfit me?’ or more precisely, ‘Which one of those incidents was he talking about?’

He continued, “I know you were upset. That day in the theatre…”

“So you knew, and even so you still continued being a block of wood.”

He attempted to interrupt my irruption, but to no avail. “Ah I know it’s all about being good, and upholding the tradition and the rich culture of the country. Ya, I do understand.”

“Hmpf… Can I talk a few words, now?”

“What the-” Thought I have blurted out everything I was feeling apprehensive, so I safely added, “Can’t I even hold your hands? Even for that should I be your wife? Haven’t you shaken hands with Anu or Divya and other girls?”

“Is that all? Or you are going to barf more?” He took a breath before continuing. I was panting and I had put off my ceaseless rants.

“First of all shaking hands with someone is entirely different from holding your palms in mine. I am no piece of wood or a little kid nor am I suffering from any hormonal deficiency disorders. I do feel love, lust; anger and everything like anyone else.”

He took another deep breath. “Hmm… you know I am upto my next belt in Kung-fu. Sifu had subjected me to a self-will test. Even a loving touch is always accompanied by a bit of lust. And I was afraid of myself. Who else know more about my flare for the art than you?”

I felt a bit abashed. I rallied myself, and ventured in a minced tone, “So how long do you have to undergo this test?”

He simpering, replied me, “It’s over today. That’s why I have told you about it now.”

I was both delirious and felt queasy. Reading the question in my mind, “If you stay back here tomorrow, let us go to the beach, and find ourselves a secluded spot. We can walk hand in hand.” Giving an impish pause for the blush in my ruddy face to get wide, “or may be even more.”

Touching Temptation (LXXXII)

2009-08-09T22:56:00.002+05:30

Reviewed by Ironmonkey.

Shantanu had a worse time with Sekar than us, as all his teammates were 7 pointers. Nevertheless Shantanu had procured a good name from AP ma’am and Rani ma’am with his shrewd responses during classes, and his efforts in college activities.

AP ma’am who only knew it too well about Shantanu’s stock market aspirations didn’t oppose the idea, yet she gave a clear warning that the project can’t get an S grade as it was more financial than technical. Sekar who couldn’t buck AP’s support to Shantanu let them walk out with their project idea approved grudgingly.

It was a big relief for the time being though an icy feeling suffused through our blood at the thought of the next review. As many as 11 teams were asked to resubmit their proposal with better ideas or with ameliorations in the already presented idea.

“Man I am skeptical even to get this done in a simulator, and she wants me to do it in the kernel” Rajesh moaned with gall.

Though we felt sorry for Sangi as her team’s idea was rejected blatantly stating that the system already exists, yet we really felt our mind allay.

We had two more weeks for our 7th sem exams. Shantanu was doing exceptionally well that semester. Lack of organizational responsibilities and enough free hours have all made him concentrate more on academics. He was also back into trading and made considerable profits.

It was a Sunday morning. I just returned after brushing. Anu was looking bemused by the ringing that woke her up from bed very early as it was only 7.30 then. My mobile was singing loud ‘truly madly deeply…’ with Shantanu’s picture.

I picked up the mobile wiping of my hands in the towel. “I need you to come with me.”

“Where?”

“Should I have to tell you, if I want you to come?” he said sardonically.

“I would very well walk till the end of the world with you, but I just asked you. Ok when do we start?”

“In an hour, come down, and wait near the auditorium I will join you there.”

I got ready with a mix of anxiety and excitement. “May be he has made a good profit in shares that he wanted to gift you something”, Anu suggested still slumberous. I scuttled towards the auditorium.

I was already a little late, and I could never face Shantanu if I was late and also could never bear him blasting of about punctuality, which was one of the qualities I disdained in him. I wished he would say, ‘I will wait forever, for you, my love.’ But he never did.

I reached the auditorium to face the fuming Shantanu. “Sorry Sorry Sorry” I blushed before he could open up. He looked like he was trying hard to contain himself.

We scurried to the bus stop, and luckily had a seat free. We sat next to each other. After that embarrassing incident we started to physically distance ourselves a little.. I wanted to walk holding his hands, and lean on his shoulders, but I could rarely do that.

Though things started to get better we still felt uncomfortable to even sit close to each other in public place. At times Shantanu even resorted to keeping his bag between us making me turn scarlet.

We sat in silence. I wanted to ask him, where we were heading so early in the morning. But I wanted him to tell me, and I sat in taut silence. He didn’t seem to be breaking the silence. I was speculating whether he was still fuming, or he wantonly muted himself.

We got down after a 20 minute journey, and I could readily say that, the place is where he went to Kung-Fu class. I suppressed the urge to ask him ‘Why am I taken to his kung-fu class?’

The place looked festive or may be I assumed so. He introduced me to his Sifu, “Sifu this is Elvia my friend.”

He just replied a smirk. People were demonstrating stunts and stuff. Wasn’t bad, yet I was feeling bored. After a couple of hours we walked out.

“That was great, breaking 7 tiles with flames. How did you do that?” I had definitely had done all that in my karate class, yet I didn’t want to let him down from his high spirits.

Spotting the fake avidity in my voice, “Huh as if you had never done that, dan 2” he said ironically.

“Well I had been practicing the art for more than a decade now. But managing a brown belt in less than 2 yrs is awesome”

He didn’t reply for a while. May be he felt not to be modest at his feat.

“I want to treat you for this.”

“Treat. Ya of course this is something to be celebrated.”

“Well then I will take you to a movie today.”

“If you want to take me to a movie, you definitely don’t need the excuse of a treat.\” I sniggered. He frowned.

We went back to the college. “Good that I am out of responsibilities, or I would have never even achieved the blue belt this year.”

I was unable to make out his countenance. Was he still feeling doleful about the presidency or did he really mean it. It was made clear when he added, “See I may not even have had the time to accompany you to a movie.”

I still didn’t comment fearing of making another barb.

“Come down soon. I will be waiting.”

“Hmm… will 1.30 do?”

“For what do you need that long?”

“Huh then you tell me the time”

“Well ok. I think we will be having lunch in the canteen. So will you be able to make it by one”

“Sure.”

He turned back with a look that clearly warned me not to be late again.

We had lunch in the deserted canteen, and it was about to close when we left, as it worked only half a day on a Sunday. We walked in the mild December sun.

Thankfully he didn’t have a bag to place in between us. I risked sitting close to him. I felt an energetic giddy feeling. He didn’t resist.

The theatre was not so crowded. In spite of being a Sunday’s afternoon, people seemed to have settled for their TVs, than coming out for a movie. Here and there were groups of college guys and girls and a few pairs like us.

The movie was going good, but I really felt irksome. With him sitting next to me completely numb about my presence. Boringly I turned the other way. 2 rows ahead of us there was a couple with that guy seemingly searching something in her T-shirt.

I tried not to stare at them, and to concentrate on the movie. Indian movies getting erotic with the hero snogging the heroine quite disquieted me. I absent mindedly placed my hand on his on the arm rest. For a moment he remained numb as if it were not his hand. Then he slowly turned in my direction. A sense of mixed fright and fervor rose in me.

The Terrific Threesome (LXXXI)

2009-08-06T13:36:00.002+05:30

Reviewed by Padu.

I was walking side by side with Anu. People were making their way out of the lab towards the steps after a weary afternoon of Advanced Networks Lab. The 3rd floor lab with around 100 good configuration systems with the letters IBM embossed on them were installed with all sort of softwares we would ever need during the 4yr course.

I was walking besides Anu making way through the bustling crowd out of the department building. It was then Venkat blazoned out asking everyone to take a look at the notice board.

Back in our hostels Sangi whimpered, “Why not it be a two days before or after. I was looking forward to attending Symantec placements.”

Not just Sangi, many people where a tad appalled though we were all looking forward to the 0th review notice. We all feared facing the panel of 3 senior faculty members. If at all our ideas were rejected, in the middle of the 7th sem exams and the placements we had to work again to produce a better idea.

“We had been working on this idea for 3 months now. If they reject this, how do they expect us to come back with a better idea in less than a month?” Anu said gloomily.

“That too in the middle of the semester exams” I added.

Our worst fear was soon substantiated. Dr.Sekar was one amongst the three panel members. Anu soon started to aquiver. She was in my team in the compilers project, but for some reason he had spared her then.

We visited our guide Ms.Anitha for more help. She was a very amiable and knowledgeable person. She grew thoughtful when we finished finking about the cheating during compilers project.

“You lot better go, and apologize to him.” She said contemplating our situation.

“But we already did” frowned Anu.

Later even our seniors felt she was right. So we decided to visit him and apologize for the second time praying to all Gods in the Hindu mythology.

“Sir, we are really sorry.” Shantanu said sympathetically.

“Sorry!! Why?” with his notorious simper.

“Sirrrr..”

“For cheating in the compilers project” I completed blankly.

“Oh I see. I wonder why you are here apologizing all of a sudden.”

“We really felt very bad about it sir. We wanted to apologize for long but: but,”

“We felt guilty to face you Sir.” Anu completed gloomily as planned already.

“Well you will sow what you reap. Now get out of here.” He replied gruffly.

We came back disappointed and broken. For me and Shantanu it was more horrifying as we had to take the compiler practical exams again.

We prepared our best for the 0th review. Ours was a project that would indentify gestures by image processing, and convert them into input impulses. We simply had no idea of how to do that. Anyway in the 0th review we just needed to explain the idea.

Seniors saying that 0th review was nothing, made us feel more apprehensive about other reviews rather than making ourselves feel better about this one.

Professor Arunthathi Palaniswamy the pop AP was the most frightening one amongst the panel as she was very knowledgeable, and was well known for her tricky questions during reviews. Both Shantanu and I had impressed a good name in her in our fifth semester in her Networks classes, and we were not afraid of being questioned but DrSekar!

On the day of the review Shantanu was dressed in modest formals, combing his hair with ample oil and looked more sanctimonious than ever. He gave a meek smile while waiting outside the department for our turn.

The next was our turn. My hands went cold and sticky. Both Anu and Sindhu where looking pale. We entered the presentation hall with our laptop powered on and ready with our assiduously prepared presentation.

As soon as we entered, Rani ma’am asked, “Hey I reckon you are that Microsoft girl.”

Anu and I exchanged looks. There was no way she would have known my nickname. In a moment it was clear she was looking directly at Anu. Anu nodded with a meek smile.

AP ma’am, “This girl Elvia here had a good chance of getting into Mic” she said looking at Rani ma’am, and with a sideways look at Dr.Sekar himself. I never knew she would be so personally following her students.

Dr.Sekar cleared his throar, “Hem hem, well start the presentation” with his usual gruffness.

Sindhu started with the first lines swallowing a few words in between. None interrupted for a while and Anu continued with confidence. Before I could start the concluding part, AP ma’am, “I guess it’s ok…”

Sekar interrupted, “So you will be doing all those funny actions sitting before the computer” mimicking a few gestures with his sarcastic villainy smile.

“Sir a few decades back if people saw someone talking over phone she would have been considered as a lunatic or a witch. But now it has become something common. Similarly after a decade there will be no mouse or the keyboard but people will be using our system” I sniped back trying not to loose my cool.

“Certainly we will be looking forward to this evolution my dear. You may go now” Rani ma’am ignoring the second attempt of Dr.Sekar to jest at us.

Though it felt good at the support of AP and Rani ma’am I certainly was scared at the hard expression on Sekar’s face.

I walked out of the hall wishing Shantanu ‘Good luck’ as he entered the hall with his team mates, wondering how bad Sekar would have his revenge on Shantanu.

It Doesn’t matter (LXXX)

2009-08-03T09:58:00.002+05:30

Reviewed by Srivatsan and Ironmonkey.

I couldn’t sleep peacefully that night. His words, false words kept ringing in my ears, “Good that I am not the president. It takes too much of my time. I couldn’t even afford to spend enough time with you.”

He was not that good a pretender to me. His smile filled with grief said it all. I spent the whole night regretting my piggishness for better grades. If only I had left him do the project with his friends. It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s all over.

Shantanu was offered the leadership of the college symposium committee the previous year, but as there was ‘One person One Post’ rule, he rejected the offer. His close friend Vignesh was made the head of the committee.

As soon as the elections were over Vignesh readily came forward to give up his leadership to Shantanu. But Shantanu politely refused to accept it promising all possible help.

Days went by. Now we had nothing else to worry about. All we had to do was attend classes, and study if at all there was an exam the next day. I lost interest in my voracious mark race. I never cared who topped the class in any paper.

We had to choose our Final year project(FYP) guides and the topics in which were about to do that. Shantanu chose to do some software that would help individual stock market investors. The software is expected to do all technical analysis on any given stock over any given period by collecting data from the internet.

I badly wanted to do the project with him. Not for acquiring good grades in our FYP, but I enjoy every moment spent with him. But Shantanu again wanted to do it with his friends stating that the project has more to do with Stock trading and less with programming, and hence it wouldn’t be valued good by the panel.

I never cared anymore about any valuations. But I didn’t want to force him again to desert his friends. I choose another project in DSP, and I did it with Anu and Sindhu.

A big list of big companies flocked our campus. People spent hours together before the placement cell waiting for their interviews or results. The class attendance hung around 60% as the rest of them used to be attending the placements. At times we cancelled all the classes for the day as more than half the class would have left for placements.

The semester was fun with people walloping on their selection, and others kvetching everyone for they not getting through. Weekend movie plans were now replaced by placement treats. Anu was yet to give a treat for Mic.

Divya got into Cisco. Divya and Anu planned to give their placement treats together. A big list of invitees was prepared. Sindhu, Sangi, Swarna, Thamarai, Palani, Hari and many others were short-listed to be called for the treat.

The final list was a strong 30. Shantanu was given the responsibility of taking care of the booking and other arrangements. Vignesh and Shantanu left to the restaurant an hour before in Vignesh’s bike. We arranged auto-rickshaws for other girls. I, Anu, Sindhu, Sangi, Thamarai were all dumped into Revathi’s Tata Indica.

It was a Wednesday afternoon. We had no classes in the afternoon. Divya and her classmates had one class, and they readily bunked it for the treat. We reached the restaurant by 2.15PM.

The green board with the name Barbeque Nation with its tagline ‘The world on a Grill’ welcomed us. Shantanu was at the reception guiding us to the hall. The restaurant in general had tables spread normally. There was one little hall with 6 tables. We had booked it entirely for us.

In the privacy of the hall we behaved no less than barbarians of Barbeque Nation. The servers were all almost petrified. They struggled to keep in pace with our eating pace to serve the starters. The grill was of no use as the chicken or anything that was placed on the grill was consumed in no time.

A few choose beer as their complimentary drink, and the competition on who would do a bottom sip in the least time was intense with Sindhu almost spewing the beer on her shoes. Sangi commented that I would have won the beer bottom sip contest if only Shantanu was sitting in the next table. Laughter filled the table with me hurriedly silencing them.

Ours was a big table with 12 chairs other tables had either 5 or six chairs. The pleasant ambience of the room was filled with loud chatters. The hall maitre d’ would have felt relieved as we were allotted the hall or the decorum of the restaurant would have been put at stake.

After the first course we moved out of the hall to the buffet. Another competition begun and it was the best barbarian competition. People used soup bowls for icecreams and mixed jammuns with icecreams. I didn’t think it was that bad, but mixing jammuns with chicken soup!

It was one hell of a treat. We stayed there till 5PM and we were the last to leave the place. A few people carried cakes with them eating them as they left the place. Anu had invited Kiran to the treat as well. He was working in Symantec and he paid some amount when Anu found out that she was a little short of the bill.

We reached college around six. I spent some time with Shantanu before going back to our room. We cheerfully talked about the treat. Both our minds had the thoughts that we should have been one of the hosts, but it doesn’t matter.

I was no more the computer science cynosure, and the Shantanu was no more the majestic Mr.President. Yet it never mattered. We had each other. Life was so good to think about what’s lost and past.

I walked back to hostel without any thoughts about having the messy dinner at the mess. Stomach felt like it would never again ask for food in my life time, with my heart as filled as my stomach with bliss.

The Butterfly Effect (LXXIX)

2009-08-02T08:21:00.001+05:30

Reviewed by Ironmonkey.

The next morning everything was back to normal, the new semester, placement mania and everything. I was filled with some exotic bliss. I felt happy for my understanding parents, loyal friend and the one person, who could replace everyone else Shantanu.

I wondered, whether I had anything to worry about. I didn’t give any thoughts about attending any other company’s placement. The seventh semester was pretty interesting and easy.

Life has become light. That evening Shantanu called for a date, and we went to one of the less frequented beaches in the city. I had plenty to talk, everything that happened during the two months of semester holidays.

After more than an hour, I realized something was bothering him in some corner of his mind. I saw that something was wrong in his sweet smile. I wondered whether he still worried about the lost dream of mine.

I was in a dilemma to ask about it. The evening was pleasant, the cool breeze, the gentle rhythm of the waves, the ambience of the dusk, the silky smooth sand and the warm shoulders on which I was leaning. I didn’t want to disturb all this by asking ‘what’s wrong?’

After sometime as it got darker we started walking towards the road to get a bus back to our college. My mind raced about venturing the question. He would often say, ‘There is no hiding between us. Never ever give a second thought about asking for an explanation regarding anything. This is the secret of happy living.’

I broke the internal tension, “What’s bothering you?”

“Me? Bothered? No nothing.”

“Someone used to say something about happy living.”

“Well sharing that is good for nothing.”

“It’s not always about solving a problem together, but it’s about sharing a problem together.” I gave a response in the philosophical speaking standards of Shantanu.

His face wore a grimace, “We have college elections in a week.”

“That’s something to be cheered about. What’s wrong with that? With the efforts you had taken and the methods you have used last year there must be no doubt about our victory.”

His grimace grew wider this time. It clearly expressed something painful, “Victory is only for those who compete.”

“Enough of this tricky nonsense. Tell me what it is.”

“I can’t contest for the presidency.”

“What????”

“Yes. Don’t you know that students with a current arrear can’t contest for college presidency?”

Only now I realized the impact of Shantanu’s arrear. If it was Microsoft for me, it was college presidency for Shantanu. As I was called ‘Microsoft’, his friends used to tease him as ‘Mr.President’. I wondered how many times I have addressed him ‘Mr.President’ myself.

All that was pleasant and good suddenly turned dull with a deep color of melancholy. The butterfly effect of an act of cheating in a mini-project, leading to an arrear, and hence losing our life’s dream hurt me from the inside.

Sorrryyyyyyy!!!

2009-08-01T15:30:00.002+05:30

Sorry it's been a long break. Too many tragic incidents including me losing my mobile phone, my laptop going berserk. Some lunatic service guy making things worse. Sorry again. I am back. The next post is sent for review. Will post it soon :)

A New Dawn (LXXVIII)

2009-07-23T11:43:00.004+05:30

Reviewed by Ironmonkey.

After spending time with Shantanu, I came back to our hostel. By then, almost everyone who knew me, were informed of me not being able to attend the placement process. Though a few idiots asked questions like ‘Why didn’t you attend?’ or ‘Why didn’t they let you in?’ But mostly people were considerate, and they spared me off the mundane things.

I waited for mom’s call in the evening, and I opened up both about my arrear, and it’s consequence of me not being able to attend my dream company’s placement process. Mom felt sad, yet she didn’t get annoyed. I was more afraid of dad, but he said simply nothing. All he did was that, he tried to comfort me.

Opening up things to my parents gave me peace of mind. I felt very relaxed. It seemed like years of my dream, which crumbled in a minute, can’t keep me distressed for more than a day.

Anu came back cheerfully, but suddenly turned dull on my sight. I without a sign of melancholy, enquired about her chances. She was excited, and she completed all her 7 rounds. She was almost confident on getting through. Though my failure hurt me somewhere, I was profoundly happy that Anu had done well.

By 8.30PM the list of candidates, who got selected was announced. Anu’s name was on the top of the list of the 4 names. Sivathanu of our class also got in. Bhagya didn’t make it. She went till the last round, but was eliminated in the 7th round. Anu’s dad was also greatly excited.

Juniors flocked our room to ask Anu about the placement process. Anu looking at my face, which failed to cheer up in spite of all efforts made to conceal my dullness, promised them to explain everything in detail later.

Almost half our class girls were there, congratulating and sharing her interview experiences. All attempts of Anu to keep them away for my sake failed. I cheered up a bit, and joined them. For the first time in years, I felt like I was no more the cynosure.

After late night people left our room for us. Anu glowed like a candescent doll. She came near me, but she was confused on what she should tell me. So I asked her, “So where is the placement treat?”

She looked like she still couldn’t make out my mood, so she just replied a weak smile. After a few moments of silence, I said, “Ok dear I gotta sleep. We have classes right from the first hour tomorrow.”

I wondered, whether I should call Shantanu. It’s been more than 2 months since we had not been bidding good nights. I had no option of ego, and he had not till then brought the topic about vodka. I was confused, yet I made the call.

“Hi Shantanu”

“Hi dear. Hmmm... how is Anu. I wanted to congratulate her, but she must have already been very busy.”

“Ya she had been busy, just now people left our room. I guess she is still awake. Do you want to talk to her?”

“Hmmm… never mind. I will talk to her tomorrow.”

“She might mistake you, if you don’t congratulate her now.”

“She won’t. Anyway if you insist pass on the phone.”

I put the phone on speaker mode. “Hey Anu.”

“Hi anna. Thanks a lot. I am really sorry I should have called you right after the results, but many people were around so I couldn’t call you.”

“Oh come on no problem. So how does it feel?”

“Feel!!! Simply awesome. I never ever expected I would be one.”

“Ok sweetheart, will talk to you tomorrow.”

“Ok na thanks again. Good night.”

“Elvi;”

“Hmmm..”

“Ok honey good night. Love you”

“Love you too darl. Good night”

I hung up, and turned to Anu, “Why do you have to thank him.”

“I was startled, when you were not allowed to attend the placement.”

“Only Shantanu had urged me to go ahead. He said that I had to prove that you would have got in Microsoft if only if you had been allowed to attend. This gave me the urge to give my best.”

“Not just that he walked with me till the exam hall, and ensured that I attend. His words gave me great moral support. And also the points given by the contacts he gave us were all really helpful in the process” She added.

I lay on bed thinking of a new dawn. I was profoundly happy. I had nothing to worry about. I was perfectly gratified, and more than all that, I was at peace of mind.

Transition (LXXVII)

2009-07-18T20:31:00.003+05:30

Reviewed by Padu and Ironmonkey.

Everything around came crashing down on me. I could see Shantanu getting into a duel with the placement officers. May be he was arguing about how they could change the criteria all of a sudden. I knew it was hopeless. What can a final year student do against the authorities, who controlled our entire placement process, and had the control over our placement offers?

I gathered strength to urge Anu to go for it. “Just go. Prove that’s not something out of our reach.” I forced a meek smile, “All the best” and I turned towards our hostel.

I was all alone in our room. We had classes that day. Clearly I had no idea of going to the classes or anywhere else for that matter. I wished there was someone, someone to share my thoughts with, share before all my neurons disintegrated. At the same time I preferred to stay alone, I detested the idea of people pitying me.

I tried to get some sleep, but I couldn’t. I turned on Sangi’s Laptop, and checked for movies or something at all, that could keep me away from the worldly hell. I was skimming through every folder, mind kept loitering somewhere.

The very thought of facing my parents was bone chilling. The embarrassing thought of explaining this to my juniors almost killed me. Finally the thought about Shantanu, though I had no hope whatsoever in getting over the break-up, but somewhere in the depths of me, amidst all these brain eating thoughts his name silently drained the last of my blood.

I opened and closed three movies. Nothing was powerful enough to pull me in. I convinced myself there was nothing more to come. I told myself ‘Nothing can break me down. I am strong enough.’ A statement which made me weaker with every time I repeated it. Only then I noticed mobile flashing with Shantanu’s picture.

A cold feeling crept into me. I tried to answer the call with my hands shaking. Before my fingers could respond, the call died. I noticed there were 6 missed calls, all from him. I was wondering whether to call him back. Before I could make a decision the mobile flashed again.

I picked it up without second thoughts, with the first thought being, ‘The worst is over. No better bad news waits’.

Before I could say anything, “I know I shattered all your dreams. I can never forgive myself. I am not asking you to pardon me, but… I think I am going mad. I am..” Breaks!! In Shantanu’s words! Is he sobbing or what!! Mind raced with thoughts.

“Hey come on. There is nothing wrong on your part. Calm down. I want to see you.”

“Elvi I can never face you again. I..”

“Just come.” And I cut the call. I wondered whether I should feel happy about this. ‘Shantanu crying on the phone.’ For a moment I forgot everything. I had tears in my eyes. I didn’t know why. I quickly dressed myself, fumbled with my make up kit, and ran down to our usual meeting spot.

Shantanu walked towards me from the other side of the deserted road. I tried hard to control my excitement. I just stood there before him.

“Say something Elvia. For heavens sake accuse me please.” He was soliciting. It definitely was funny to see a man of his kind doing something like that. ‘Is he mad?’

“I broke your dreams. I..” He caught my hands “Hit me. Please hit me.”

“Hey cool it. You have nothing to do with me losing. I was equally guilty. It’s me who selfishly asked you to be my project mate, in spite of you wanting to stick with your helpless friends.”

“But… at least for my sake. Hit me”

I gave him a good punch in his abdomen, which startled him for a moment. I didn’t know whether I was angry with him, or over excited. He caught his stomach with his hands, and sat down in the pavement.

I sat next to him. Both of us were laughing. Some unknown feeling, an exotic bliss crept into our veins. We didn’t speak for a long time. We just sat there.

Finally I broke the silence, “So will you love a loser, who lost her only ambition in life.”

“Will you love a 7 pointer with an arrear?”

We laughed again forgetting about anything and everything, lost in our private world.

Unfortunately the Unexpected (LXXVI)

2009-07-12T12:30:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Ironmonkey.

Not just Elvia everyone around there was shaken up to see her results. She passed compilers with a ‘D’. It doesn’t matter she passed, and there was nothing to be surprised of, as most of us knew her mental predicament on the day of the exam.

It was not because of the D we were all shaken up, but it’s the ‘U’. She had an arrear in Compilers Laboratory. May be because, she cheated over in the mini-project. We had no idea. But it was no time to wonder about that, the truth was that she had an arrear.

She was broken down. We had no words to console her. I called Shantanu, and asked him to speak with her. But he was more broken up than she was. Not because he too had an arrear in compilers lab, but because he felt very guilty, and considered himself the whole cause for Elvia getting an U.

Seniors told us about how psychotic that guy was. Elvia was one of those very few who managed 20+ out of 25 in the assessments and in the semester exam of compiler lab. But there was no stopping our faculty from awarding us whatever grade they think we deserve.

Some of our seniors said that with Elvia’s track records it was certain that, she can make a plea to the committee, and get things straight, but ‘When?’ and ‘With what consequences?’ by complaining about a senior faculty of our department.

Seniors advised of peace. To personally apologize to him touchingly, so that, he would pass Elvia the next semester. But still that was a black mark, something with which she had to live with for the rest of her life. She couldn’t get a distinction regardless of however high CGPA she managed to maintain.

We soothed her, saying that, she had to concentrate on Microsoft, as luckily the criteria set for attending Microsoft placements was a CGPA above 8.0, and there was no mention about arrears anywhere.

Elvia got over it. We decided not to tell about this to her parents. At least not until they hear the happy news about Mic. We made ourselves prepared to put all the knowledge we had acquired over the years into action. Just like in legendary tales, where they used to say after 7 hills, 7 oceans and 7 fires you have a box filled with treasure, we had 7 deadly rounds in the placement process for Microsoft.

Our senior Bhavya akka got placed in Microsoft the previous year. She dropped by our college on our request. She conducted mock interviews for half a dozen girls, who had good prospect of getting placed in Mic. I was reluctant, but Elvia pushed me in. I didn’t do it well.

Elvia and Bagya were the only two, who made it upto her satisfaction and Bhavya while leaving advised Elvia that she can ask for an internship in Mic in her 7th sem hols. She was that confident that there is nothing that could stop Elvia from being in Microsoft.

We were waiting before the placement cell for our placement officers to direct us to the hall, where the first written round will be held. Elvia got over her arrear agony. She was all set to be an employee of the dream company of any Computer Science graduate. She was seldom nervous, but she was excited, and looked more like setting her foot into the company on her first day, than attending the placement process.

The chief placement officer came out, and made the announcement, “Today we have people from Microsoft here to take the best among you people, as their future employees. The salary is 9.5lakhs per annum with added incentives. More than all that, it’s Microsoft.” He paused for a smile. He continued, “All of you who meet the criteria follow me. As you all know the criterion is a CGPA of 8 and above, with…”

Back to Elvia.

Heavy Wait (LXXV)

2009-07-10T16:30:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Ironmonkey.

Elvia was thoroughly overjoyed. There was no talk about any reunion nor did they continue their usual ‘love you sweetheart’ before good nights, yet she was very happy and excited. After Shantanu’s call many other friends of ours, who resided in the hostel for placements did call us, and told us about the schedule put up.

Elvia was more than just nervous, she was excited. She completed a couple regular books and half a dozen references for the top three subjects on whose knowledge will the future employees of Mic will be selected. Now she had nothing much to refer or practice.

She wanted to go to college now, but she was still afraid of facing Shantanu. He did call once in a while and spoke equally with both of us. I told him about our preparations. I told him about, how seriously Elvia took the placements, and how hard she worked.

He mailed us a dozen contacts of undergrads, who got placed in Microsoft. Initially I expected it would be our seniors, and we already had their numbers. To our surprise none of them from our college, when enquired about it he said that he knew we would have our seniors numbers. So he collected other contacts from IITs through internet.

Elvia has nothing to do now so, she just called those numbers, and bugged them about the placement procedures. Everyone seemed to know Shantanu well, and they responded quite politely. Meanwhile I made up for lost chapters, which I failed to cover for the sake of keeping in pace with Elvi.

Half the college got placed in the first 2 mass recruiters TCS and CTS. Almost the other half was covered by Wipro, Accenture and Satyam. The rest were mostly who didn’t attend placements like us, either because we were so confident about getting dream placements or people who waited for a particular employer, and as always a few unlucky ones.

Just 2 days before re-opening we reached hostel. We had Infy scheduled just before the re-opening. For some reasons it was scheduled in the 7th slot this time. A few people hopefully waited for Infy. Shantanu thoughtfully advised us to attend Infy, so that, we would have an exposure to interviews.

As it will not affect our dream placements in anyway, we heeded to him. All 3 of us attended Infy. Shantanu attended TCS, but unfortunately he lost it, and he was one among those, who waited for Infy. I was not sure, why he was particular about the two companies, and I never cared to ask him either.

We all took a written test, completely aptitude. It was just a cake walk, and we never even cared to check for the shortlisted candidates list, as we were so very confident. Shantanu dressed himself with a white shirt, black pant, black shoes and a velvet tie and was all set to give a pleasing professional look. We were in some decent Chudis, and were all seated before the placement cell with our files filled with resume copies, marksheets and certificates.

In Infy it was all about HR. One’s attitude is what they believe in Infy. It was all about whether someone could learn, instead of what he has already learnt. Shantanu conducted a mock interview for both of us. I wondered, what made him so qualified to do that. Anyway I didn’t question my big brother, and in those circumstances Elvia too didn’t.

Shantanu’s mock interview did work. He said he already had half a dozen such mock interviews with his seniors over phone, and couple even face to face. We all did the interview well, but I unfortunately got a bit nervous, which later was reflected in the results. Both Shantanu and Elvi got in, but not me.

They consoled me, saying that, this would be a learning experience, and I will be able to do better next time. I tried to take it that way. Nevertheless I was scared of my failure, right in the first interview.

We got our results for our 6th sem. We were nervous as usual. We ran to the department to check our results amidst the crowded hallway we fought our way to the notice board.

MicroSoft (LXXIV)

2009-07-07T20:38:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Padu :)

It was a Friday morning. Dad called me early in the morning to inform that he was going out of station. I got up, and Elvia was still snoring. I tried sorting out our room which was full of scribbled papers.

Elvia’s mom entered the room with lingering aroma of coffee. On seeing her sleeping, she yelled, “Hey Microsoft today is Friday. At least today give some thought about getting up early.” I was not surprised. The previous day, one of Elvia’s cousin had called her, as she was in the bathroom, I picked up the phone, “Hey Microsoft, how are you doing?”

I never dreamed about Mic as she did. Our last week continuous preparation for Mic inspired me with the slightest thought, and a mildest hope of getting placed in it. I was fighting hard to keep up with her pace. Though she had loads to study and practice, she always patiently cleared my doubts.

Her room had completely changed. She wrote MicroSoft in big fonts, and stuck it all around her room. She took color printouts of the logo and stuck them on the cover of her books. She jotted down the key points, time and space complexities of algorithms in papers and stuck them on walls. Her room was more like John Nash’s deciphering room.

She had already mastered Cormen-the divine book for algorithm lovers, Silberschatz – Operating Systems for beginners in the respective semesters. She also made a schedule for revision. She almost finished an exercise e-book for Data structures which she downloaded for $11.5 with her dad’s visa card. She had downloaded half a dozen other e-books priced in dollars.

Certainly most of them were available for free, but Elvia’s Dad always used to say, “Never think, while you spend for academics”, and she took it exactly like a computer would take an instruction. She had no time to search for an illegal copy from creepy sites.

Every evening we went for a long walk to relax ourselves. Elvi looked rather she didn’t need any relaxation, as she naturally enjoyed all that crap. Even while walking, she discussed many puzzles and aptitude questions. I always admired her hard work and determination towards her goal.

The beauty of being a CSE engineer is that, one can practically experience almost everything he learns. But when it came to OS we couldn’t work out everything that we learned.

She crashed her windows for the nth time that week, trying to manipulate some dll files and other system files. Anyways she really didn’t enjoy much of OS, she rather found pleasure in making modifications, and analyzing the performance of existing algorithms.

Divya called us, and said that the placement schedule has been put up in the placement cell’s notice board. In the first few slots there were mass recruiting companies. Dream company schedules were yet to be up. Though I wanted to attended the mass recruiters, Elvia was ‘Do or Die’ about Mic.

She asked me to leave for college, and attend those placements, but with the past month with Elvi I became confident that though I may not make it to Mic, I will at least be good enough for some other high pay, good profiled company. So I stayed back.

Elvia rarely spoke of the break up. But she couldn’t stop herself from bringing in Shantanu. For every thing we did, she used to quote some line of Shantanu’s. Whenever I found it hard to solve puzzles in data structures she encouraged me saying, “Harder you hit, stronger you get.”

Though we weren’t there in college to attend the first phase of mass recruiter, Divya told us how students were nervous to attend the interview. They had announced the results for the first mass recruiter at 21:30 pm in front of the auditorium. The whole area had burst with claps and cheers. Faculties and wardens didn’t control the students since they were excited and restless about their first job.

When Parvathi called complaining, that she had failed to make it in the first mass recruiter, Elvi again quoted Shantanu, “You will for sure get what you deserve, if you don’t, you deserve something better.”

She even started acting like she didn’t care about it anymore. She talked about Shantanu just like she did about others. But she didn’t stop writing MicroSoft with the ‘S’ in upper case, and never stopped listening to ‘Teri Ore’ before going to bed.

One fine morning when Elvia just then got up she got a call, “Hello” she said drowsily.
“Hey loafer still in bed, Microsoft placement schedule is up in the notice board.”

Depressed to Determined (LXXIII)

2009-07-04T01:22:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Nathan.

Bad news spreads faster than any flu. Almost everyone who knew Shantanu and Elvia came to know about the break up. I didn’t know whether people felt happy or sad about this, yet many were curious to know what was happening, so they enquired about this to me and others, who were closer to her.

That night over dinner people spoke all kind of nonsense, and a few even in our earshot. “If she considered herself the princess then it’s the right time she changed.” “Well that scum deserves it” “I think Shantanu has took a right decision to..” and loads more. I didn’t know how people could talk ill about a person, who is conking out of grief and pain. I realized how bad envying could drive people.

Elvia who was in general strong by heart borne all the pain, and Shantanu’s acquaintance had made her more matured that, she could be able to take or ignore things her way. Nevertheless these things did affect her. But when compared to Shantanu’s words mostly they were like stabbing a corpse with a knife.

The hostel was almost deserted, and we were all alone in our room. Elvia switched her PC on. She played ‘Evanescence’ the collection which I had always admired. I understood she didn’t want to be disturbed. Divya came in. I waved her not to disturb.

“Being silent will not bring any solution. We gotta do something??”

I asked, “What do u expect us to do?”

“We can talk to Shantanu.. hmm… no she should speak with him”.

Elvia slowly turned to us. “It’s not about a reunion, and this is no ordinary lovers’ duel. He trusted me more than anyone. But I wasn’t true to him. I shouldn’t have hidden things from him, and there is no pardoning for this. All I need to do now is to prove him that, I still value our old friendship.”

“And how are you planning to do it?”

“He wanted me to get placed in Mic.”

Anu,” Do u think he will come back to you because of Mic??”

“I don’t expect him to. I never expect him to.”

We were not sure whether to encourage her to get placed in Mic or to console her for Shantanu. Finally we gave in that, there was no use in persuading her anymore, who else would know better of her adamancy.

Natalia Barbu's 'Fight’ from 'Moldova' had been playing for the nth time, she looked more determined for as the song went on. After sometime she let the player shift to ‘Memories’ from 'Within Temptation' this broke her a bit, and I heard her mumbling the lines,
"All of my memories keep you near.
In silent moments,
Imagine you being here.
All of my memories keep you near,
In silent whispers, silent tears"

But her eyes were dry without moisture. It’s because her tear glands had over worked and left her with no moisture. But she had not come out of the grief.

In another two days NSS camp was about to start. But she didn’t want to attend as she felt very uncomfortable to face Shantanu. In spite of me being the Lady General Secretary of our NSS unit, I was in no idea of leaving Elvia behind in those circumstances. So I called uncle, telling him that we had planned to come home.

We planned to go in train rather than waiting for the car to pick us up. Uncle said he would pick up us from the railway station. I was more worried, ‘What if Elvi’s parents ever found out something is wrong with her? Will they question me about that?
What should I tell them if they ask me?’ I felt horrific to go home with her, but I didn’t want to leave Elvia alone.

Fortunately Elvi got over her grave expression by the time we reached home. Nevertheless she continued to listen to Evanescence and LP. I had no idea whether they made her strong or weakened her more, and I never commented on it.

We didn’t talk about Shantanu or Vodka or compiler Exam. She once in a while chose to lie on my lap. I felt happy, that I had a chance to reciprocate her pampering. Her parents were always friendly and loving to her. But she couldn’t share this with her parents, not because she was afraid, but because she didn’t want to worry her parents with this.

After a week she was fine, or at least apparently. This gave me courage to ask, “How did you do your Compilers exam?”

“Hmm not so good.. Think I will pass with a C or D. I was worried of getting an arrear, good that I will at least pass”

“His words before exam must have given some strength”

‘Sh*t’ I bit my tongue for bringing Shantanu into the scene.

“Hmmm... well now it’s high time we prepared for placements.”

This was the happiest statement she made in the past week. I was thoroughly rejoiced that, she had got something to keep her occupied. I decided to fuel her fire. I started addressing her as Microsoft.
I also dreamed about Elvia getting placed in Microsoft. We started working on the dream. After all it’s now more than just a dream placement.

The Tragic Break up (LXXII)

2009-06-30T20:59:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Padu.

Happy B'day Ridhi.

I was rearranging my compiler notes’ xerox copy, when Elvia entered the room looking pale and distressed. I had never seen her like that before. I noticed something was wrong and enquired, but she just said, “Nothing” without looking at me. I knew that she was upset, and so I didn’t want to bug her.

All of us, 6th semester CSE students were busy preparing for Compilers exam. But Elvia was lying on her bed silently sobbing. I sat next to her putting my arm around her, “What’s wrong with you dear?”

“He knows about the vodka, and he left me forever”, she burst out with tears. She was shivering, and I could feel her body temperature rising.

“Elvi please come on it’s going to be alright. You are feeling feverish…come we will go to the health centre”.

She simply continued sobbing lying on my lap. I was speechless. Elvia was always held high for her bold and caring nature. She cared for everyone as much as she cared for herself. She was the all time consoler and caretaker for everyone, but then it was for her, the strong solid Elvia.

Within few minutes Divya, Sindhu and a few others had come to console her on Sangitha’s call, as we felt they could help making Elvi feel better. We tried in vain to at least take her to the doctor. Finally she accepted to take a tablet. Divya ran to her room, and brought her a Crocin.

With the compiler exam that Tuesday, Elvia couldn’t concentrate on her studies. I was so worried, and thought of speaking with Shantanu. But Elvia stopped me. “If you really do care for me, please don’t bug him about this. I am guilty. I deserve this.”

I never had done anything against her words in the past. Even in Kiran’s affair, she sounded neutral, though I would have acquiesced with her reluctantly. So I couldn’t call him either. It was not just me, but many of us got worried, because most of us depended on her to teach us compilers.

Monday morning Priya came to our room to clarify her doubts with Elvia. Before I could Say, “she is sick.” she stopped me, and started teaching her. She was not alright, she still looked grave. In a few mins our room was flooded with our class gals.

They are not callous to trouble Elvia in that condition, but the exam was the difference between life and death for many. People didn’t want to put their future at stake by getting an arrear in the 6th sem with placements in a couple of months.

Elvia was not preparing for her exam as usual. She was under tremendous stress. The two most important things in her life were Shantanu and Microsoft. I was afraid that this one exam could turn her dreams upside down.

On Tuesday morning, we almost got ready to go to the exam hall. She looked more pathetic. I always looked up to her as my late mom, whom I don’t remember seeing. I wished I could find some potion to bring back her strength.

We were standing in front of the exam hall doing our usual last minute preparation.
Shantanu walked towards us.

“I always wanted u to be in Mic. Do the exam well. All the best.”, with a hardened expression on his face, which was very unusual of him.

She stood motionless, but still his word must have cheered her up a bit. We entered the exam hall muttering prayers to our fav lord, on whom we were more dependent. Dr.Sekar, compiler professor was our hall invigilator so couldn’t depend much on neighbors either.

The question paper was neither too complicated, nor was it easy. People came out of the hall seriously discussing the answers. I was searching for Elvia. She was nowhere near the exam hall. I reached our room. She was lying on the bed holding her mobile and lost in deep thought. She didn’t even seemed to realize that I was back in the room.

“How did you do your exam??”

There was no reply from her, so I tried a different question.” Have you had your lunch?”

She got up, and her hands were shivering terribly. She handed her mobile to me, ‘I didn’t want to be blamed for you losing marks in this exam, and as an OLD FRIEND I would still love to see you in Mic. That’s it.’ a message from Shantanu.

I was shuddered. Though I felt bad, I never could control myself from envying Shantanu and Elvia. I always thought that they were made for each other and the ideal couple ever.

Though I couldn’t feel or understand the pain she was going through, I could definitely say it would have killed me. I looked up at her, two drops of tears silently rolled down from her red eyes.

Anu

2009-06-28T14:00:00.000+05:30

Friends,
I m pretty occupied to continue to write with the usual phase. Anu who has been with me since the beginning of this blog and who had penned down a few posts for me already will write a few chapters. Hope you would like it in her way of proceeding the story :)

Miss u Mic

2009-06-26T21:41:00.000+05:30

A post can never be enough to express how it feels like to miss you. We will live to love you King. You will always remain the King in the throne, and none can ever ever take that place of yours in our hearts.

Miss u forever. We will console ourselves that you now Rest in Peace.

Don’t walk Away (LXXI)

2009-06-24T18:07:00.000+05:30

Unreviewed

The semester exams were back, but with an increased intensity in our feeling of importance. The exam fear which eased over the past 5 semesters had surged high again. The reason being the placements and the criteria set for each company based on our CGPAs.

People worked hard to push their CGPAs up above the nearest upper limit or to support and avoid it getting lower than the nearest lower limit. It was one hell of a struggle. The range of each student was already set. Everyone bothered themselves to keep them at the higher end of their own range.

As we saw placements a few months ahead, people talked more about their dream companies and other such placement stuff. My name was completely replaced by Microsoft. I stopped protesting either because I was tired of protesting, or because I really loved being called so.

“Is Microsoft in there?”

“Ya ya I am here.”

“Hey what is the jscript code for going back from a page?”

“history.back similarly you can move forward with the history command”

“Oh then what should I do to assign shortcuts for a button in the html page.”

“Ohho!! You better take my webtech project code. We have used almost all such useful syntaxes. Have a look.”

That was one subject that was fun to learn, web technology. We really enjoyed doing the mini-project for that subject. We built the complete website for our college symposium for that mini-project.

Exams were going fine. The most awaited and horrifying exam of our department’s worst psycho ever, Dr.Sekar’s Compiler exam was scheduled to be the last exam. May be our examination authorities kept it at the last, so that, people didn’t get their hearts broken after writing that exam and lose in the other exams too.

I had done pretty well in all the exams. The one exam that was most horrifying for me than any exam in my life was scheduled to be held on the next Wednesday. My poor internals and in addition getting caught on cheating in the mini-project, the very thought of the exam was nerving.

I had been good at TOC, and ‘Compilers’ was one hell of an interesting subject. But the thing that frightened me the most was him. We finished our ‘Graphics and Multimedia’ exam on that Friday, leaving 4 days for us to prepare ourselves for the battle against phantoms.
That evening Sindhu called for a vodka celebration as we would be leaving to our NSS camps immediately after exams. I protested with reasons like the upcoming exam and our warden ma’am getting stricter which makes it very risky to have vodka in hostel.

Sangi, “Hey if you have abstained from drinking because of Shantanu, fine but why do you post insensible reasons”

“Hey don’t I make sense?”

“Yes you don’t. We have 4 more days for compilers, and warden has been strict always.”

Sindhu, “Guys it’s been almost a year.” I sensed disappointment in her tone.

Anu, “We still have a lot of time why would we have to hurry amidst exams.”

Swarna and Saranya stood there silent. They were all disappointed and they were about to leave to their rooms. I felt bad for letting them down. I suggested, “Ok why not you people enjoy without me?”

“Hmmm... never mind”, “No probs da, don’t bother yourself we just asked”

Finally I made a decision. We left to our gramps guest house. Everyone looked cheerful though Anu shared a little of my reluctance. I tried to avoid drinking, but I didn’t want to look like I was sacrificing for them. So I just had a few sips.

Next morning the girls thanked me profoundly for the place. I was satisfied that I didn’t disappoint them, yet I felt bad. One of my class guys once told me, “How come he be so solid? Have you forbid him from drinking? When nearly 100 of us enjoyed getting drunk in the election treat he never even had a sip.”

We left the place to our hostel. As usual for any intellectual paper we sat in a round circle spanning two cots and started preparing for compilers. Every now and then someone let out some fact or a rumor about Dr.Sekar like the number of arrears he had given to seniors, the way he prepares the question paper such that he could only answer them etc. Though this scared us a lot it was for the good as it kept us away from gossips while studying.

I met Shantanu that Monday, after finishing 3 units. For a few minutes things were going fine, all of a sudden he posted a query, “Where have you been this Friday evening?”

I remained silent. I was in a dilemma between whether I should confess or to wait for him to go further. After a couple of silent minutes he continued, “What were you doing then?”

I felt like my arteries would burst, as my blood pressure rose to their peaks. I started sweating. ‘How could he come to know? Who would have told him?’ but these question didn’t make any sense anymore. I became completely motionless.

“I never ever expected you would…” he continued to speak for another minute, I heard nothing. A mixture of shock and grief blocked all my senses, but my wet eyes could make a blurred vision of him walking away from me without ever looking back, without his loving smile. I sat there looking in the direction he walked away for what felt like ages.

Everlasting Evening with the Delicious Dinner (LXX)

2009-06-16T22:18:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Lakshminarasimhan & Padu.

Shantanu signaled the Auto driver to stop. He stopped, and asked for the place. Shantanu gave him the college name. “Sorry sir I am going home in the opposite direction.” And he left.

I wanted to jump, and thank heavens like a Pakistani bowler, who had just acquired an important wicket. But I restrained myself.

After a few minutes of restless waiting just when I was about to say that, he did, “Hey it’s already too late, and even if we get an auto now we wouldn’t be able to reach college by time.”

I thanking all the Gods in the Hindu mythology, walked back with him.

“Hey you keep going. I will get things for dinner, and will come in a few minutes.”

“I will come with you”

“Don’t annoy me like a kid. We don’t want to be found out hanging around together in this area.”

I continued walking, wondering, why one would have to hang around to get dinner. He came back hooked up with carry bags.

One bag had groceries, only then it struck me ‘so he was about to cook something. Well after all it would be the 2 minute noodles.’

The next bag had atta. WTH. I looked up at him. He said, “You have never tasted anything that I cooked, have you?”

“So what are you going to do now?”

“Nothing much, just chappatis and curry.”

Before I could ask him anything he walked into the kitchen with the bags. “Don’t just keep looking. Chop the onions.”

Chop Onions?!!! I was clueless as if I had been seated in the exam hall for an exam on Mexican History. He got busy with the dough preparation. I took the knife, with my hands shaking.

He turned to my side, “What the hell are you doing?”

“I have never chopped onions before.” I didn’t know whether to blush or bend my head down. So I gave a mixed expression.
He sighed, “Well the potatoes must be ready. Skin the potatoes”

Again!!! No!!! I managed to bring down the boiling water bowl with potatoes down from the stove with the waste cloth. I absent mindedly plunged my finger into the water to take the potatoes out. Ouch!!! The tip of my finger turned a deep pink.

“Idiot! Don’t you have any common sense?”

“You are bad. How come you scold me when I am hurt?”

“Oh dear. So you have never been to the kitchen before.” I expected him to say ‘Go have some ice for your fingers and watch TV. I will call you when everything is ready.’

But he didn’t say that, “Pour down the hot water in the bowl, and fill it with cold water.”

I frowned, yet I did what he said. I touched the potatoes, another ‘Ouch’. I didn’t want to be chided by him again, so I controlled the pain, and slowly started peeling off the potatoes skin.

He was chopping onions like he had been doing that for a lifetime. He finished half a dozen onions before I could finish a single potato. He was in the first phase of the curry preparation. I could smell the south Indian spicy dish in the making.

He started preparing chapattis. “Smash them, the potatoes”

Somehow we finished off with the cooking. Man I must confess the dish was delicious, may be because I was famished by our hostel mess.

“How did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Cooking!”

“I used to help my mom with cooking, and I could very well see neither you nor your mom gave any thought about you learning to cook”

“Why should I?”

“Cooking is not just for someone to eat. It’s a method of expressing your love for the one whom you cook for.”

I realized it then. There always used to be a difference in the feeling that I get when I have food prepared by mom, when compared to the food I eat at mess or canteen or any hotel for that matter.

We had coke as dessert. A fantastic 2 course dinner was over. Shantanu sipping coke, “Wish someday we have Golden Yellow Champagne like this.”

I didn’t reply anything. He continued, “Of course drinking alcoholic drinks is bad, yet sometime someday. I am addicted to the dazzling golden color of the drink.”

“So you don’t mind drinking” I smiled.

“I don’t mind drinking Golden Yellow Champagne” He corrected me.

I was a bit taken back, yet I hid the shock. We continued speaking throughout the night. We shared a lot. The night went on. Finally he got up from the couch. “Honey it’s time.”

“I love you.”

“For millenniums sweetheart.”

I went to bed, thoughts oscillating between Golden Yellow Champagne and Starka vodka. ‘What will happen of me, when he gets to know about my vodka ventures?’

Pray 4 our dear Sis

2009-06-16T19:12:00.000+05:30

The Touted Top Girl is getting operated for an injury. She has been the most important source of inspiration for writing this blog from the very beginning. Kindly pray for her recovery.

P.S. The next Chapter is almost ready. Will be up soon :)

Ironmonkey's post

2009-06-14T16:58:00.001+05:30

Friends,
I m out of station, and not in a position to post the next chapter. Meanwhile I wanted to thank my motivators. Here is a post by Ironmonkey abt this blog :p

Check out his new post My Sister

Thank U

2009-06-12T12:47:00.000+05:30

Friends,
Thanks a lot for the record breaking number of visits. The blog had 141 number of visits in the last 24hrs, which is 34 more than the previous record of 107 the day before yesterday :)

Dream’s Sequel (LXIX)

2009-06-12T12:24:00.001+05:30

Reviewed by Aanand Vasu.

I was shaken up, only to find out that my bath coat was still over me, and I was not lying in bed, but in the drawing room’s couch. The door bell rang again.

‘Thank heavens! So for all this time, I had been in a dream.’ But that was one hell of a dream.

The bell rang again. I was now shivering, not just shivering, but also sweating. The sweat drops moved like pieces of ice over my skin.

I was shaking. The steel door knob was ice cold. It passed streams of electricity through my palms to all parts of my body. I opened the door.

Shantanu was standing there. I let him in, and closed the door behind. He silently walked to the couch and sat. I stood there, in the middle of the hall, clueless about anything. I was yet to get out of the shock the dream had given me.

I was looking at the floor like an accused convict in a courtroom. I sensed Shantanu was about to say something. It was high time I made a decision. I made one.

“Dear, I am sorry. Hmm..”

“I mean, like; see; as you already said we have a lot of time. So may be..”

“Hmmm like..” I stretched the line searching for words. I gave a break to take a deep breath. I knew I had tempted him. He was a good guy, but not a saint or anything. To say ‘no’ at this point must be bad on my part.

I just tried to forget the past and the future, and started speaking, “As you used to say, we neither have America’s riches, nor Europe’s economy. We don’t have China’s infrastructure or Singapore’s life style. But one thing, for which the whole world respects us, is our culture.”

I knew I made no sense. In fact he was the one who had initially talked about culture. I, in my clueless desperate attempt to justify my last moment decision, was blabbering something. As there was still nothing but silence from the other end, I continued, “Our social structure is one of the oldest and the most respected one. The one thing that keeps the entire 100 crore population running is that, though we have different cultures basically we have this social structure that is basically the same in all the myriad cultures in the country.”

“We need to respect marriage, and…” I was standing there like a grade 3 girl who had forgotten the speech she had memorized for the speaking competition. The guilty consciousness, the nightmare of the consequences everything drove me mad.

I saw Shantanu get up. I wondered what he might reply. ‘What do you think of yourself?’ or ‘Do you think I am your slave to say yes for whatever you order?’ or ‘Am I looking like the little teddy you sleep hugging to play me as you wish?’

He walked towards me. I started sweating heavily, and got wet all over like being in a shower. He came closer, and he was a couple foot away.

His hands came near me. He touched my chin with two fingers, and tilted my head up. I was unable to look at him, but I managed to look at him with half opened eyes.

He gave a weird smile. I couldn’t make out the meaning of it. “That was one hell of a speech. I will go get ice creams for the both of us.

He left the house, and came back with a family pack of ‘Mixed fruits’ ice cream, his usual favorite. He went straight into the kitchen, and got two glass bowls and a knife. Divided the ice cream into two equal halves, or may be 55:45. He never used to be just in sharing ice creams, and the vice versa applies to me, when it came to chocolates.

He gave me the 45 bowl and suddenly got it back and said, “Will you please change to a better dress than this bath coat?”

I just obeyed; I ransacked the wardrobe and found a big loose night Frock that was more like a wedding gown. I came back, and stood there before him like a school girl.

He pushed the ice cream bowl towards me. I just started having it like I had been famished for years, as I really felt all my inners got dried up with the turn of events. I was finishing the ice cream on par with him. After all he had 10% more.

He switched the TV on and was flipping through his usual NDTV Profit and CNBC live. “Nothing new.” He flipped through the music channels 9xm, V, MTV and list went on. He stopped at a channel for the song, ‘Baby I love you’ from the Hindi movie Race.

He was humming along knowing very well that I wouldn’t approve of that. Little annoyed, I looked up at him. He gave a sarcastic smile, and suddenly burst out, “Heyyy”

I looked at him puzzled, and a bit horrified.

“You look gorgeous. As in..”, He was searching for a metaphor.

“Yeah like Kate in Titanic. Why don’t we dance?”

‘Kate!!! Dance!!! What a weird idea?’ I continued to look at him with the pink plastic spoon still in my mouth.

“Hey I am not asking for a ballet, or something complex like in RBJ, just soft moves like in that song.”

I finished the last little part left in the bowl, and stood up. “Give some thought about wiping off your lips.”

‘What’s so wrong with me? Am I still scared?’ or at least I was confused. I washed my mouth, and came back.

He put the disc with Yanni, Mozart etc into the player. If I was a movie freak, he was a music freak. He chose some arbitrary song, or may be he chose it for the mood and the dancing.

He put on his left hand around my waist, and caught my left hand with his right. “My lady will you please put your right hand on my shoulder” sounding like a knight in a classic English movie. He always had this taste of middle aged European style.

The warmth of love was hallucinating. In no time I was in a different world, and I bet neither getting stoned by dope nor getting cockeyed by vodka could take you there, though I had no idea about the former. We were dancing for sometime till we realized that the time was almost 8PM.

“Oh shit! You have to get into the hostel”

I realized it only then. “Oh no, but it’s already late.”

“May be we can take an Autorickshaw”

The beautiful night was coming to an end this soon. I half heartedly went to change into a Chudi and came out. “Why do you girls take so long to change even when it’s an emergency?”

I wanted to retort, ‘Because I don’t want to go back to the hostel. Because I don’t want to leave you. Because I want to stay with you, in your arms.' But I couldn’t. What if he thought I was getting back to the same stupid thing?

I didn’t know why. I felt like crying. It felt like the first day of school, when mom and dad dragged me to school. I was rolling on the floor crying, and making a really good struggle to go back with mom. Dad had photographed it, and that was one of my childhood pictures with which they used to enjoy making me embarrassed.

We walked to the road. Fortunately or unfortunately there were no autos available in our range of sight. Then after some 10 minutes of painful waiting, all my prayers had become useless. An auto came in our direction.

I wanted to tell him, ‘I don’t want to go.’

Terrified by the Truth (LXVIII)

2009-06-11T20:33:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Lakshminarasimhan and Aanand Vasu.

After much persuasion Shantanu gave in. Just like Divya he gave up with the statement, “You are adamant.”

He was thoroughly annoyed, but as always he could never say no to my red eyes, though I had no option of getting annoyed of his ‘no’.

He tried all possible arguments,

“Ok I do agree that we are going to be married, so why do we have to hurry?”

“This is not hurrying.”

“Well think in these lines. Let’s say though we love each other dearly, what if we end up marrying someone else?”

“Never ever think of it. If suppose I see you marry someone else, I will kill myself after killing you.”

“Hmmmpf, Ok fine, Life is not guaranteed the next moment, what if something fatal happens to me? I would never want you to live lonely and single for the rest of your life.”

“Stop this stupid argument. Get lost.” And I walked back, and now he had no other go.

He called me after an hour, “Hey”

“hmmm”

“So you are still mad at me.”

Silence.

After a deep breath, “Well then it’s your call. If you want to do it, well let’s do it.”

“That’s like a good boy.”

“Just a thing”

“Yes”

“You are a well grown kid.”

“Haha yes I am.”

We decided on the next day, Friday. Our semester exams was about to begin the next Thursday. So we would have five more days after Friday before the 1st exam.

I couldn’t sleep that night. I was rolling on my bed throughout the night. I had thoughts about Shantanu yelling at me, ‘You bitch, get away from me.’ Or even worse.

I was wondering about myself. What if any of the arguments placed by Shantanu ever comes true? Isn’t virginity a virtue?

I was almost convinced that, I was about to do something very wrong, yet I had never practiced to give upon what I had decided. I tried to forget all the negative things about the decision, and concentrate on sticking to the plan.

The next day I arrived at gramps guest house just after lunch. I had asked Shantanu to drop in by evening. I just wanted to ensure the elegance of the environment for the matter in hand.

I turned all the Air Conditioners. I set the temperature to 18 degree Celsius to fight the summer heat. In a few minutes, I was literally shivering with just the bath coat over me.

The pleasant Friday evening, alone at home, I was waiting for him with a myriad of thoughts - Does he really love me? Will we end up marrying each other? What will he think about me?

The ring of the door bell shattered the ceaseless thought mesh.

I could feel the surge in me. With my pulse rate shooting all time highs, I opened the door, thinking that that was not going to be the day’s high, because I knew there was more to come.

Just after he entered the home, I locked the door behind to signal that we were on something private, that the world doesn’t bother us. He came close to me, put his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. His eyes met mine and there was hardly an inch separating our lips. There was more of love than lust in his eyes. He said, “I love u”, all I replied was, “forever sweetheart”.

I couldn’t wait anymore, and I filled the gap between the lips, closing my eyes - the first kiss of an adolescent; hallucination of love. It felt like an eternity, but I let the eternal feel continue. Feeling his pressure, I realized that there was more to eternity than just the first kiss.
An hour later, I was lying next to him cuddled under the sheets. The Air conditioner’s temperature didn’t affect me anymore. The warmth of Shantanu’s skin had more than compensated for it.

Suddenly like a flash of lightening, it was all over, and I came back to my senses, ‘What have I done? I speak of being a South Indian girl from a respectable family, but now.’

‘I am not gramp’s angel anymore. I am not my dad’s dream anymore. I am a disgrace to the society, whose culture is kept above every civilization on earth.’

All these thoughts brought tears to my eyes. I started sobbing and it turned to weeping. Shantanu tried to console me, but beyond a point even he was clueless. He looked more miserable than I was.

'I was always proud of my genetic inheritance from my parents, but why did I ever inherit their daring and adventurous nature? Doesn’t an adventure have its own limits?'

The most horrifying of all this, ‘Has anyone seen me and Shantanu entering the apartment? What if someone knew?’

Just then the door bell rang.

The Daring Decision (LXVII)

2009-06-10T23:27:00.000+05:30

Reviwed by Aanand Vasu.

I stepped forward, but the girl in me did forbid me from taking the next step. Every second I stood there, he felt more embarrassed. So I decided that, I would at least leave the room.

I was rolling on my bed thinking about the kiss, which would have been my life’s first kiss, and the darkened face of Shantanu.

The next morning Anu was ready with coffee for me and tea for Shantanu. I was reminded of my mother, but Shantanu felt it otherwise. He felt uneasy that, why she should do that to us. Shantanu couldn’t retort to Anu’s reply ‘Should I not serve tea to my brother?’

Shantanu impulsively turned down his head away at my sight. He avoided my eyes while speaking to me. He was very uncomfortable. He was so very disturbed about the previous night’s incident.

We reached college a little after 10AM. Project demos were already going on. Our classmates swarmed the department with laptops to get their projects demonstrated soon.

Our turn came. Shantanu was supposed to be one of the best ever presenters of our class. His charming presentations, which always fetched him an edge over the other good projects was absent that day. He sounded dull and absent minded.

I managed the situation, and we got our projects evaluated. We got good marks. Sir complimented the efforts taken to bring out such a neat piece of software, but he awarded more marks to me, and the least in our team to Shantanu, thinking that he was one of those sleeping team members, because of his poor response in the demo.

That evening in hostel, I had ruminations about the previous day’s incident. We had another solid week for our 6th semester exam. Divya just then entered our room.

“Hi Guys”

I was sitting in grave silence. I was lost in thought, and was staring at the wall.

“Hey Elvi. Elvviiiii” She came near me, and shook me by my shoulder. I was startled for a moment and said, “Oh hey hii”

“Hey what’s wrong yaar? What are you thinking of so deeply about? Microsoft!”, with a sarcastic smile. I was thoroughly annoyed. ‘Why would they bring in Mic for everything?’

Anu joined, “Ya even I have been noticing her, something is wrong with her. I wanted to ask but had forgotten due to this projects stuff”

I remained silent. Divya again, “Oh come on Elvi what’s wrong?”

“Nothing yaar, I m just fine..” before they could respond I myself felt like sharing it with them, so I opened up. I explained what happened the previous night. “I am feeling so bad. He is such a gentleman. He never ever made any amorous move before. I made him feel guilty.” I told them looking down at the floor in grief.

Anu, “Oh! that’s why both you guys were looking grave the whole day.”

“Come on sweetheart. That’s alright. It’s not a thing for which you have to worry about.”, Divya

“But is it wrong to kiss someone whom you are going to live with for the rest of your lives? Why did I give him such an impression, as if he had attempted to commit a crime?” I continued in my melancholic tone.

Sangi who was silent till then, “May be she feels bad for missing the kiss”

‘Sh*t! Damn the understanding of these room mates. How did she find out that, it was one of the reasons’ Anyway I managed, “Stop the nonsense. I feel bad only for making him feel bad.”

Sangi retorted, “Hey hold it. He must have badly wanted to kiss you. That’s why he is creating such a scene.”

Anu countered, “Hey he is not that sort of a guy. He is gem of a person. He must have really felt bad about it.”

“Good or bad everyone has feelings. He is no exception. He is no saint either. May be he might have wanted to, yet that’s not bad either.” Divya.

A few seconds of silence, everyone was looking at me to say something. I looked up at them and said, “If a kiss is all he wants, he deserves much more than that.”

Obviously they were all puzzled by my reply. I gave them a break for them to digest what I had just told them. I then continued, “I am taking him again to gramps’ guest house.”

“Are you nuts?”

“You must be kidding.”

“Hey you sound serious, aren’t you?”

Another momentary break, “Yes I am.”

“You mean…”

“Yes I mean the same.”

“Shantanu will never acquiesce for anything of that sort”, Anu.

“Whether or not he does, you can never do this.” Sangi. She looked at Divya for support.

Divya after a deep breath, “I know you. You would never get back from what you have decided upon. All I can say is, just be safe and careful, you have got dreams to conquer.”

I always used to wonder, how someone could be so matured, thoughtful and most importantly pragmatic. Divya had always earned my respect in every action of hers, and in every word she said.

Anu and Sangi wanted to tell something, but they stopped themselves. As always Divya’s statement concluded the discussion. We all keeping this thing aside watched the movie, ‘Get Smart’.

After the movie we went to bed. I expected Shantanu to call me, but it was not so late so I did the calling myself. I fulfilled the formality of saying, ‘I love you.’

I was thinking about the decision the whole night. I made up my mind, and there was no turning back. Neither the temptation nor the guilty feeling had it, but my adventurous nature did. That was the one which drove me into drinking vodka, and been responsible for various incidents like the action at the theatre.

As always even this time the curiosity and thrill of doing something that I was not supposed to do took over me. I called Shantanu before I could change my mind, “Hi honey still not asleep.”

He sounded back to normal. I was a bit relieved. I replied, “You wanted to kiss me right?”

“Yes, but I m really sorry. It was a mistake. I..”

I interrupted him, “I want to kiss you.”

‘Silence’

“Not just that, I want to make you feel I am all yours.”

Project Turn On (LXVI)

2009-06-09T07:08:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Lakshminarasimhan.

This post is dedicated to this blog's recent followers 205 889, Karthick and Enbanathan.

In our college symposium I was made the person in charge of all computer science related events. In fact, I was the one who asked for it, in spite of Shantnu warning me to concentrate on my academics. We conducted Programming contests, debugging contests and half a dozen variations of these.

Participants either got annoyed, or were intrigued about the tuff questions set by me. Our senior Harini, who christened me as Microsoft told me that I was proving to be a worthy candidate for Microsoft. I rather felt, that exercise helped me a lot in gaining more knowledge on coding and concepts.

Shantanu was also satisfied about the way symposium activities added to my knowledge. He dreamed more about me getting into Microsoft than me. We finished our 2nd assessments in the week after the symposium. We had our 6th semester exams in a month.

The symposium was academically useful, nevertheless it affected our 2nd assessment marks. As always all our 3rd assessment tests were replaced by mini-projects. That was one hell of an important thing for me, if I wanted to continue getting 9 in that semester as my 2nd asses marks were bad. I decided to do all projects in teams with Shantanu, as he would surely get me good marks in projects.

Anu and Sangi my understanding friends agreed to my idea of doing projects with Shantanu. We did include either Shantanu’s friend Hari and Palani or my friends if the team can have more than 2 members nevertheless the two of us had to do the entire coding stuff.

Anu and Sangi did manage, but Shantanu felt a little bad to leave his usual project companions Hari and Palani behind, as they were his only friends at college, who didn’t have any professional relation with him. Anyway he could never say ‘no’ to me, especially, if he saw my eyes turn red from their usual blue, and he in fact cared more about my marks than me.

The days were not enough for us to complete all the six projects. I stayed back in one of our classrooms with Shantanu till 8.30PM, beyond which I had to finish my dinner, and go back to hostel. We were doing well, but with that pace we would never be able to finish all 6 projects in time.

The entire department was busy doing projects. During the day we saw all the gangs, especially the bisexual ones under trees, classrooms and even on footpaths with their laptops, bugging themselves in completing the projects.

Most teams were mixed teams with a minority of the team working, and the rest resting. Tamarai and Vikram the two geeky guys of our class were teams together, and that was supposed to be the geekiest team in the department. Krishna and Sundari were teams together in most of the projects.

At hostel girls made sexually explicit comments about the duo Kirshna and Sundari. However bad I hated her, I never admit making comments about someone which were not true, and when it comes to sexually explicit comments, I would never ever approve of them. Girls stopped making such comments, at least in my presence.

We spent hours and hours together, but we never had even minutes for love or romance. The project work was killing us every second. Shantanu being a perfectionist never compromised on anything less than the best. This had us work longer, however the results we knew were really going to pay off.

It had become our usual schedule to go to bed by 2AM or even later. However engrossed and busy we were, Shantanu made it a point to bid as ‘I love u’ every night over phone before we went to bed.

In those weeks that had passed with the project works, I almost forgot mom; skipped a meal. At times even before brushing I turned on my laptop to check, whether the solutions that occurred to me in my dreams really worked.

Apart from doing our own projects, both of us were obliged to help our friends. This was the reason, why we had to work so hard and long. Nevertheless our friends were very helpful. They did everything they could do to support us, unlike other mixed teams where everything right from abstract submission till documentation will be done by a single person.

While at hostel we discussed things online, and coded independent modules. In the next evening, we integrated the program parts that we coded individually the previous night. We had only two more weeks for the deadline for the projects’ submission. We still had more than 60% of the work to be completed.

The worst part is one can never estimate the time one would take to complete a program. So, the work remaining may very well be more than 60% in terms of the time it would take. So we really started worrying, with 50% more time, and more than 60% of work, yet to be completed.

We worked at 150% efficiency while working together, hence staying together as long as possible was definitely a very good option. But the question was ‘Where?’ Finally we decided that we would work in my gramps’ guest house in the city.

The next day Anu, Shantanu and I left to the guest house telling grand pa, “I am staying with my friends on some work, for which we feel hostel not so comfortable”. Grand pa who was only too desperate for his only grand daughter’s love acquiesced without another word. I only knew it too well that he would have me killed, if he came to know a guy was one among the ‘friends’.

We worked and worked until we fainted. Actually it was not that hard but we did it terrifically big with a passion, as we loved to work in each other’s company, and we took sophisticated topics for our projects. The projects came up well. Near the deadline week we almost completed everything except for a few final touches and testing.

It was Tuesday of the last working week of the semester. Out of the 6 projects the demos for 4 were over, and obviously we topped in all of them but one. Shantanu tried to help Palani and Hari, and he gave the basic code of our complier project asking them to build up on the code, and change the interface to make it look like an entirely different project. Unfortunately we were caught, and our faculty got so very annoyed. We worried what would he do to our internals or worst case to our externals as well.

One of the good things I learned from Shantanu is not to worry about something that, we could do nothing about. So we got back to work as usual for the other 2 projects that evening. The project was almost over, and we would have very well finished it at our college, yet we left for the guest house.

The night passed midnight. Shantanu never got satisfied with what he had done. He kept improvising the project adding graphics and enhancing the interface. Anu as always went to bed in another bedroom. We continued to work for sometime.

I was drowsy, Vanessa Carlton’s-A 1000 miles was melodiously playing in my laptop that made me feel sleepier. I was tired of working till 3AM the previous night, and the project demos, that extended for the whole day, waiting in and around the department for the faculty. Shantanu asked me to go to bed.

I saw Anu sleeping soundly; I lied down by her side. Just then I remembered that we forgot to tell ‘Love u honey’ to each other. Though it was not a forcible formality, I had no intention of breaking it. I walked back to the room, where we were working.

Shantanu was exercising stretching and twisting his arms to let a proper blood flow. This was a normal relaxation procedure for an IT professional working for hours. I stepped closer to him, he looked at me, and I said, “Love u honey. Good night”

He inching closer to me tried to kiss me. For a moment the girl in me overpowered me, and I instantly turned away. Realizing the scene Shantanu stepped back and said, “I am sorry. Sorry….”.

He looked very embarrassed. I felt very bad about myself. One thing, I would have loved being kissed by him, and other, I had no intention of making Shantanu feel guilty. He was unable to face me.

I was struck there, clueless about what to do. My instinct said that, I should step in and kiss him.

The Fest (LXV)

2009-06-07T16:03:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Lakshminarasimhan.

We enjoyed the evening profusely. The entire audience was standing throughout the show, dancing, cheering and applauding. Every one of us would have lost enough calories we would loose in a week in just hours, yet we never felt tired.

We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Guys were dancing like hell on the ground rising mud to fill the entire atmosphere. Pranksters were throwing water bottles open amongst the audience, splashing water everywhere. The three top class singers of the age of South India rocked the show.

One of our seniors had suggested that, we let our college singers to sing one or two songs with the maestros. That did encourage our college singers, and in no way this affected the quality of the show. The overflowing crowd had overwhelming enthusiasm throughout the evening.

As an honorary recognition our college president, vice president, cul-sec and other key people of the college committee were invited on stage at the end of the show. I, Anu and everyone who burdened themselves for the event joined them on stage. It was a memorable day of our lives. President complimented Shantanu, the cul-sec, for his efforts in arranging such an enjoyable event.

It was already 10PM, and our warden ma’am was driving us back to our hostel. I could see the glitter in Shantanu’s eyes. The feeling of self satisfaction filled us. We kept talking about the evening in our hostel even after mid-night.

The next day I met Shantanu. He was happy, nevertheless he felt bad about not being able to bring in ARR. Days of struggle, and finally the college authorities trusting in Shantanu’s way of handling funds agreed for tickets for the event, all to hear from Rahman’s manager that he had given dates to some other program. Finally our college committee did the best they could do with the funds and the ticket money.

There was enough support from the entire college for all the efforts taken by the committee. We sold out all the 500 tickets of 3 classes in just 3days. Out of request we had to go for more tickets, and remodel the seating arrangements of the gallery to accommodate all our college students and the 1000 outsiders.

The classes were suspended for all 3 days of the fest. People would be playing songs during the day in large speakers that covered the entire campus, and the colorful events like the concert, singing competitions and choreo-night were reserved for the evenings.

The most intriguing thing about the day’s proceedings was the song dedication. Before playing a song, the song will be dedicated by some X to some Y, the X used to be the boy and Y obviously his crush, and at times vice versa.

It was not necessary that the song was actually dedicated by X to Y, but people just used to say that X dedicates so and so song to Y. It was funny that X would run to the audio systems tent, when his name was heard in the speakers.

They don’t just say it as ‘X dedicates Addicted Song to Y’, but they used to say, ‘X loves her so much. X’s heart sings serenade for her. This song is one such serenade, which X will cherish for his entire life in her memory. This song, Enrique's, Baby I'm addicted, is dedicated to X’s lady love Y.” As there were these introduction lines there would be some time before Y was mentioned. So X would usually sprint to stop them before they say Y’s name.

Just when I was thinking about ‘How good it would be if someone dedicated a song with X as Shantanu’, I heard the speakers blare. “You all know of our Cognizant Cul-sec, who made this event a grant success. This song ‘Kadal Virus Ondru’ is dedicated to the love virus that has crashed his heart. Hope you know who that virus is..” before he could complete, there was a loud cheer “MICROSOFT”. I felt a bit embarrassed, and not to mention of super shy Shantanu. He hid himself in some building for the next few hours.

I was short listed for the singing competition like the previous year. Apart from my Carnatic Music training for years, the help from my seniors in the Students Arts Club (SAC) helped a lot to improvise myself. I had developed the habit of singing with the necessary phonations, whenever I felt like singing.

I lost to make it up to the top 3 places last year. Shantanu pointed out that, I sang something too technical i.e. some song that didn’t reach the masses. So this time I choose a song from a list of songs recommended by Shantanu, in spite of him not having the slightest knowledge about singing.

I sang the song Tere Ore, from Singh is King, without giving any thought about winning. I just sang the song addressing every line to Shantanu with love, and I ended up with a big round of applause from the audience. I felt satisfied. I achieved the true purpose of art to make people happy, whether or not I did better than others. I got 3rd place, and both the 1st and 2nd place went to people, who got better cheering than mine. I understood the meaning of life. Rather than evaluating something with technical stereotypes, go by the audience’s judgment, simply put ‘Customers verdict’ in Shantanu’s terms.

Days passed by, we grew closer and closer. I felt like living in a family with me, Shantanu and my sister in laws; yes Anu, Divya and all my close buddies started calling Shantanu as ‘anna’ (elder brother). Classes started getting collegic in the sixth semester.

Shantanu got better at academics. May be he got influenced by me or by AP ma’am, who handled Networks in our 5th sem. He told me that he really got interested in those two subjects because of the exceptional faculty who made him feel the subject. I felt happy that, he started caring about academics regardless of the reason.

Now that the fest and the symposium were over, we were back to hard core academics. With the placements in our range of sight, everyone started dreaming as well as fearing about their dream companies. I was myself engulfed into the Microsoft Mania.

Recession in College Events (LXIV)

2009-06-06T14:43:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Lakshminarasimhan & Aanand.

Good or bad the semester exams came to an end. In spite of my asking them not to come, mom and dad were there just after the last exam. Mom tried her best to convince me to come home. I kept telling her that I had some work regarding college symposium.

Mom must have really felt very lonely at home, but I had promised Shantanu that I would stay back in hostel and try to help him out in the organizational activities. Dad was convinced that I must involve myself in extra-curricular activities for the better.

I had been home only once in the past semester as I was busy making up for the lost classes, and spending time with Shantanu. I myself felt guilty about missing mom. Finally I agreed to stay at home for 4 days. I packed my things and naturally, Anu was with me and we left for our home. I texted Shantanu about it.

Mom showered all her love in the four days. I really felt bad about leaving her back. At times it felt like I would better take her with me and stay in a home in the city where I studied.

Finally with just the tears missing in mom’s eyes we were back to college. I promised mom to come home whenever possible. She started calculating all the national and regional holidays I had in the next semester.

At college we were busy with the arrangements for the year’s major cultural event and the college symposium. Shantanu bugged himself with both these events. He also started worrying that the next year he may not be able to do both these, as in 4th year one can have only one top position.

Shantanu dreamed of arranging A.R.Rahman’s concert for the cultural fest. But it was one big deal and a college event can’t collect that much funds to bring in such a legend. The recession had hurt all our usual sponsors and we had nowhere to go for more funds.

I tried calling my dad to ask for some contacts in the industries to get us sponsors. Dad being the state’s Home Secretary felt it would be power abuse if he recommended for sponsors from any industry. But he still gave us contacts without him personally asking them anything.

We walked into almost every name in the list of registered companies. We did get some funds but they were not even near the required amount for Rahman’s concert and we had to get funds for our college symposium which we could never compromise upon. That symposium was something that identified our college amongst the international students’ community.

Once, after we walked out of a company who said ‘sorry’ flatly, Shantanu was very fed up and we sat for a while in the company’s premises to have coffee. I tried to comfort him. He just looked up into my eyes and said, “I love you”. I didn’t know why he did so. But he must have been in some state that he felt he had lost everything, yet he had me.

I gave him courage to carry on. I bet not even the heroes of 80’s movies about unemployment would have climbed the steps of so many companies, but we the students of one of the very best institutes of the country did. The happy thing about all this was we traveled in a bike. I sat at the pillion holding on to Shantanu, meanwhile covering my face with a cloak avoiding the eyes of anyone who knew my dad or anyone of my 2 gramps.

We were near the end of our semester holidays. We came back from a day full of begging for sponsors and sat in our college canteen. We had fresh juice and Shantanu said, ‘I love you’ for the nth time and I as usual reassuringly said, “I love u too honey.”

He grew too sentimental and thanked me like a 3rd person for all that I did. I felt proud of supporting my better half in what he did. Shantanu was stubborn that I go back to academics after college reopens. Shantanu gave up all hope of making things big.

Back in college we were expecting our 5th sem results. Shantanu for the first time in life was looking forward his results. He did pretty well in both Distributed Systems and Networks. He had very good internals in those subjects. I had also made up well in the 2nd and 3rd assessments and had good internals. Shantanu was still so concerned about my GPA.

He seemed to have almost forgotten his stock trading in the recent times. Later I found out that as he was doing short term trading and had alerts dropping in his mobile inbox to make the right move at the right time. He made good profits.

Big-shots in the college had also brought in sponsors regardless of the side they supported during the elections. This is the best part of student life. How many ever disputes we had, nevertheless we were all united together when it came to the college’s reputation. Kiran had also become a good ally and all of us killed ourselves to make this bigger or at least not let the recession hurt our caliber.

Shantanu as in his Stock trading shifted focus from A Class to mid cap and small caps. We asked for sponsors from budding businesses in smaller amounts. We accumulated enough funds for our college symposium from this new strategy.

But the cultural fest and the concert were of no hope. We had very little funds to carry on the usual stuff and not to think of the concert. Shantanu was a bit crest-fallen. He cursed all the banks and financial institutes for being the primary reason for the recession. He cursed the entire American economy and globalization in desperation.

It was fun listening to his curses. At times I was unable to control myself from laughing, and he felt so very annoyed at this. I did feel sad for not being able to get his dreams to reality.

Like the popular saying, “If you run with all your might the world will run for you” Shantanu’s sprint was followed by the entire college. Everyone bugged themselves to do something to collect funds. A junior once funnily recommended that we try robbery. Another opined that we collect money from all the students.

Finally someone suggested that we go for charging tickets for the concert. But that needed an extensive set of formalities like getting permission from the Vice Chancellor, Dean, the Estate office and half a dozen other authorities with most of them being skeptical of anything of this sort.

Shantanu in his final desperate attempt wrote the requisition letters to all the offices and started walking into those offices with the final piece of hope.

The thought of getting Married (LXIII)

2009-06-06T08:44:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Lakshminarasimhan.

In the pleasant morning breeze I was sitting next to Shantanu in a remote corner of our college. Every now and then our privacy was disturbed by some morning walker/jogger. I was telling him about the chitchat which we had the previous night.

He accused us of wasting time, by speaking about someone uselessly. He suggested that we shall speak about reputed people or successful women like Pepsi Co. Indranooyi or Biocon’s Masumdar Shaw. I frowned, asking him to stop speaking like my dad.

I was perfectly annoyed, when he said Sundari was a good girl. I wouldn’t have bothered, if he had admired a 1000 other girls or ogled at other girls a million times, but I couldn’t tolerate him speaking good about her for three reasons.

One, Sundari cheated guys with her made up beauty, so I hated her. Two, she believed that a lot of guys were crazy about her, so, again I hated her. Thirdly, she considered herself as the loveliest girl at college, which again was a reason, why I hated her. So, I never wanted anyone to speak in praise of her, and definitely not Shantanu.

Seeing my eyes turn red at the mention of ‘Sundari is a good girl’, Shantanu backed off from his opinion. He managed that he never noticed her much, and with the little knowledge he had about her he couldn’t make a proper opinion about her.

It was then Shantanu’s turn. He told me that his cousin is asking him to come over to Hyderabad for the semester holidays. As he had work related to our college symposium he decided to stay back in college, and he said ‘sorry’ to his cousin. His mom and sister had planned to visit his grand parents’ home in the city for his sister’s Christmas holidays.

I recalled being called a sister by him. I couldn’t contain my curiosity anymore. I interrupted him, and asked him whether he remembered the incident at our NSS camp, when he fought with 3 guys for teasing me. He flirted, saying that he remember every second he spent with me.

I asked him whether he remembered addressing me as ‘sister’. He was annoyed and confused. I repeated his line, “I love you like my own sister.” He laughed aloud and explained that his sister was the person whom he loved the most, and he wanted to tell me that his love for me was as sincere and intense like his love for his sister.

I cursed myself for the misunderstanding. I said that I was so worried and annoyed about that. He laughed louder at me, and I bent my head down blushing.

After some time of usual beautiful silence, I continued my beautiful boredom. I wondered whether he considered it as beautiful or just boredom. Anyways, I still continued to tell him more about the chitchat.

I enlightened him on the latest gossips. I told him about Prasad anna and his love for Sylvia akka. I kept on blabbering more about such topics. He listened to me silently, whether or not he was interested. Finally I ran out of things to tell him in just half an hour. If only he had responded to the gossips this conversation would have extended to hours, like the chitchat we had the previous night in our room.

I also told him about the communal talk, and me being a half Brahmin. No one knew of it except for my close friends at hostel. I thought it was time I told him about my parents.

I told him all about it briefly, as this story itself can be written as a novel. My dad and mom were doing their Bachelors of Commerce in a reputed institute in dad’s city. They fell in love with each other.

After graduation, dad left to Delhi for his IAS training and mom worked in some petty job in her home town in spite of being the university gold medalist. Mom is from a very orthodox family, and gramps forbid her from working far away from home in the city. Mom would still say, how hard she battled with all her family to let her study beyond school in the city.

Mom used to recall that, it was a horrible long gap. Those days, there were neither mobile phones nor the internet. Dad couldn’t even write to her office address as gramps family was very influential, and they had eyes and ears everywhere in that district.

So, dad wrote to mom’s friend, and she passed on the letter to mom. Just like in the movie Mission Impossible, mom would burn the letter just after reading. She always felt sad about being unable to keep her love letters safe with her, but she was such a memory maniac that she still remembers the letters word by word. Dad used to complain that only because of mom’s memory power, she had pushed him down to the second place in college she being the topper.

The way they got married is one hell of a story. Dad completed his IAS training in par with his family tradition of being one of the best pass-outs like his dad and uncle. With gramps’ influence he was appointed the joint secretary for the state’s Education department. He told gramps about his love.

Gramps rejected the request flat. Dad, who always went by what he felt was right, ignored gramps warning, and went to Mom’s home to ask for their marriage. Mom who knew pretty well about her family, strongly believed that dad will never be able to step out of the place alive, suggested dad to fly with her somewhere, or to better forget her than asking her dad about the marriage.

Dad devised a plan according to which he asked for a transfer to Bihar or north east, which was one undeniable request as none wished to be transferred to those places. Meanwhile mom got engaged with another big-shot’s son from her own community.

Just a couple weeks before marriage, mom and dad flew to Assam and got married there. As both gramps had powers limited to the state then, they couldn’t stop them. Dad wanted mom to study more. She studied CA. Not to disturb her academics they postponed child birth.

After 5 years of married life Dad got transferred to Kerala as a District Collector for his second term. I was born in Kerala six years after marriage. Dad and mom seldom spoke to their families, especially their fathers.

Shantanu sat there awe struck. I was as froze, when I first knew of all these. I kept bugging mom to tell me why things were strange in our family. She always kept ignoring me, or giving some vague answers. Finally she gave in to my bugging and told everything when both of us where sitting bored in our home, when I was waiting to join college.

Shantanu after taking some time to digest the matter said that we will not be having any problem with my family regarding love. I was not sure because dads don’t consider their off springs as intellectual to make the right decision.

Shantanu, though was from a middle class family, his family was more orthodox than mom’s. Just because Shantanu’s cousin loved a guy, his dad distanced himself from his own sister’s family. Shantanu himself had some favoritism towards his community.

But Shantanu assured me that his dad loved him so much that he always got Shantanu whatever he asked for, even beyond his dad’s financial capability. So he believed that he would be able to convince his dad. He also added that his mom would love me.

For the first time we talked about getting married. The reality was much more complicated than it appeared. My rational mind analyzed all possible arguments to be placed before my dad and worse was the case when it came to convincing Shantanu’s kins, whom I never knew.

I tried to concentrate on the semester exams, and I didn’t want this thought about marriage affect my CGPA.

The 4Ds of College life.(LXII)

2009-06-05T09:20:00.001+05:30

Reviewed by Lakshminarasimhan.

This post is dedicated to Ridhi and Arulmozhi for having this blog's link as their status message in Orkut and Facebook, thank you.

The cultural fest of the odd semester was over. Shantanu settled all the accounts and submitted a complete report on the event. He really had half forgotten me in the past month. I got back my priority.

The 5th semester almost came to an end. Our 3rd assessment tests and the mini projects were over. Unfortunately I couldn’t do projects with Shantanu as the projects can have a maximum of 3 in a team and people around us did not approve of the 2 of us being in the same team.

The most intriguing thing about Shantanu was that his mini projects were one of the best in the class. I asked him how he managed to do the projects good when he rarely cared about academics, but he used to give me some vague reply with pride overflowing in it.

The responsibility of being a cul-sec or his other leadership activities involving tens of juniors under him never made him proud. But even a single step better than me in academics will make him feel like he should advertise it on Google’s homepage.

We had a week for our first exam of the 5th semester. So we had ample time. Even the geeks will not be starting their semester exam preparation by this time. So our room turned out to be the chitchat corner as usual.

Occupants of the room-myself, Anu, Sangi along with Divya, Sindhu, Saranya, Abi all gathered in our room, and we were having the time of our lives discussing, gossiping and everything. I was texting messages to Shantanu side by side. Not just me, but Abi and Sindhu were also messaging someone.

The usual stuff about love affairs, suspected pairs and accusing other girls as bitches and making fun of flirts were the main constituents of our talks. We had only girls from ECE and CSE there. Nevertheless we had more than 300 people to talk about in our year and the same amount in each of the other 3 years.

Generally many unknown love affairs used to come out in the 4th year after people get placed. One of Divya’s geeky senior and his supposed to be just a good friend turned out to be lovers. Saranya opened this up. All of us were thoroughly surprised.

The talks turned to Sundari, our class beauty sensation. Anu accused of her facial fakeness. I wondered why guys were so crazy about her. Sangi retorted that if not for her make up stuff she would just look like a beggar girl from Bangladesh. I didn’t make out why she pulled in beggars from Bangladesh, yet we didn’t want to spoil the spirit by asking for explanations.

Divya as always thoughtfully said that Sundari had a lot of attitude problems and it’s just an illusion that guys go crazy about her. She added that guys are intellectual and will not just be easily deceived by attractions of her appearance.

The conversation grew intensely on Sundari. Anu said that Sundari told one of her juniors that she would better not tell anyone that she knew Sundari or she would be constantly bugged with love letters addressed to Sundari. Girls raged that how could someone think so much about oneself?

Sindhu added that, this problem with her attitude was why she rarely had a good friends circle. Sangi frowning said that Sundari had got friends too. Saranya said that it was because of a communal bond. Abi agreed that Brahmins are all the same and they hang around with their own.

I retorted that, the kinship of Sundari’s friends with her had nothing to do with her community. Sangi countered that I support the cause of Brahmins just because I am half Brahmin myself.

Divya roared, “Stop this nonsense. Already the country is split into a million pieces with all these religion, caste and shit. At least in college let’s not speak of it.”

We had never seen Divya emote so much. She always was calm and cogitative. We were all taken back for a second. The flame from her eyes momentarily set them on fire. Everyone grew silent. The room remained in grave silence for a minute.

Finally Sindhu broke the silence, “If only we had a bottle of vodka now.” She exclaimed.

We all laughed at this statement. We started speaking of our first experience with vodka and the vomiting and stuff. We had missed vodka this semester as it was kind of a busy and a shorter sem for me the vodka gang leader.

Sangi breathed heavily, saying that I was the luckiest of them all. We asked her why. She said that, I had everything one could have at college. She explained the 4 dimensions of college life.

Dimension one is Studies, two having fun with friends, three having a boy friend and finally the 4th one is getting out of college with a good job offer. She said that, I had almost everything of the four.

Studies! Though I had a CGPA of 9+ in the past 4 semesters put together, we still had 4 more to go. Fun with friends was something undeniable. We roamed around the city across all the big theatres and shopping malls and most notably we had vodka, which was forbidden to most other college girls and at times guys in the state.

Third, yes I had Shantanu. Nothing was skeptical about me having a good boy friend. If not for someone like Shantanu, whom would one call a good boy friend. Finally the job offer; my long forgotten pet name ‘Microsoft’ was re-established.

I had never given a thought about Microsoft that semester. First the internship, and then the college elections, then Shantanu’s proposal, dating, culturals and over all that, making up for lost classes all this had pushed Microsoft down into the depths of my consciousness.

Anu said that I will for sure get into Microsoft. Based on this statement Sangi finally concluded that, I had or will have everything i.e. all the 4Ds of college life and felt envious that most people had only one or two of the 4Ds.

After a few more talks on a dozen other topics we finally went to bed after Shantanu calling me and Anu half a dozen times and asking us to go to bed.

I went to bed thinking rather than dreaming of Microsoft. Anu’s words were encouraging, yet I feared, ‘Whether I would make Shantanu proud!’

Beautiful Days (LXI)

2009-06-04T11:26:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Lakshminarasimhan, Padu and Ridhi.

This post is dedicated to this blog's recent follower Jibak and the record holder for the most number of sensible comments in a day. (14 comments :p)

The pleasant college life turned beautiful. The entire environment was so refreshing. The word spread, and I even got a few felicitation cards. Shantanu wanted me to keep it a secret, but how could I ever hide something of this magnitude. No one seemed to be surprised of our love; rather they felt surprised that Shantanu had proposed me only then.

He started feeling very uneasy to hang around with me. Whenever someone looked in our direction, he complained that, we were attracting unnecessary attention. I felt, the girl and the boy just exchanged places in our case, especially in our love life. Thankfully, he at least did the proposing.

Whenever Shantanu felt the class was boring, he used to look in my direction. For him most of the classes were boring, and this made me uncomfortable in the class, yet it was kind of beautiful. Girls around me who kept bugging me, whenever Shantanu glanced in my direction had started feeling his staring was mundane.

Guys of our year, who were my friends and who used to mail me at times attached ‘sister’ in their mails. It was funny that the whole world around me changed. A change, not just by inner perception, but a real true change.

We walked around the campus, the trees, breeze everything that had been a part of my life for 2 years had become exotically beauteous all of a sudden. The silence which had made me more uncomfortable previously turned dulcet, I could keep listening to it for ages.

Once we were searching for topics to extend our conversations, and hence elongate the time we spent sitting next to each other. We had nothing more to worry or hurry. We remained silent for ages, yet we never gave a thought about the other person leaving.

Juniors and friends who giggled at us when they saw us walking side by side started looking at us with regard. I understood that people don’t bother those who are in love, rather they vex those who hang around as couples, claiming to be ‘just friends’.

I started missing him a lot. For the first time, I felt so very furious about the hostel timing restrictions, that, girls have to be back in place by 9.00 PM. Shantanu called me without fail just before going to bed. We waited for each other and went to bed at the same time. A feeling of telepathic touch through dreams filled us.

According to Shakespeare’s philosophy “Every man searches for his second mother in the name of love and every women gets her first child in the name of love.” Shantanu started behaving like I was his mother. He reported everything he did that day when I was not around. It was a strange feeling, and could be described quaintly as ‘beautiful boredom’.

The worst part was that, he apart from taking the child role did take the mother role for himself. The intensity of his care taking tripled. He chided for every improper meal, undid hair and every piece of junk food. He questioned about everything that happened to me, when he was not around.

He never let me stay awake after midnight, which was rather considered late evening in our hostel. I was not allowed to sleep beyond 6.30 which again, was considered early morning in our hostel.

I have heard of masculine strings, that bound a girl after she had consented her love, but this was not that bad. Unlike the boy friends of other girls, who bugged their girl friends, asking them to distance themselves from other guys, Shantanu never said a word about it.

Out of curiosity one day I asked how come he never forbids me from talking to other guys, he simply answered that my mother would have approved of those friends I had. He also asked me to talk to people, saying that would make me more knowledgeable.

The best part is, he never enforced his priorities on me. We were just like opposite poles at college. I did only the studying, and he did just the set language complement of it. He organized various events in college. Being the cul-sec he had to handle the college cultural fests. Even when I volunteered to help, he gave priority to my academics.

He made the fest funds transparent. Every penny spent was neatly accounted and the accounts were perfectly accessible to anyone in college. If someone felt some expense as unnecessary, he took their suggestions, and gave explanations.

In spite of being a money maniac, he never manipulated the accounts for personal benefits. Rather than trying to use the college funds for him, he did spend them with care as he would do with his own money. His policies made him popular in college, though drawing the wrath of a few evil minds by his side. Faculty who always felt skeptical about the college committee started respecting the committee.

After 2 months of hanging around as lovers, finally he asked for a date, a real date. When I asked him where, he looked like he never expected that question. After thinking for a week, we went by Anu’s suggestion. We decided on a beach resort.

Shantanu borrowed his friend’s car. I had always dreamed of a bike ride holding him from the back, like the romantic couples in the movies, but I was not sure why he chose car. May be he thought I would say ‘no’ for a bike or he himself didn’t approve of the bike ride.

We started off early on a Saturday morning in a white Hyundai Santro. The car was too small than Dad’s Accord. The seats and the ride were not that comfortable either, yet we had a beautiful drive in the road, that was laid along the coast.

We had breakfast at the resort. I paid the bill as I never wanted to be accused of being a bitch like Kiran did to Anu, though I knew Shantanu would not enounce that word at me even at the cost of his life. Anu’s thoughts did affect me a little.

Over breakfast I asked Shantanu about his openness in college funds unlike his predecessors. His answer as always intrigued me. He said that if by any chance he had manipulated the accounts or gave a chance for any such suspicion; anyone who looked at us there would say that ‘Shantanu is spending the college money on his girl friend.’

We walked along the coast for a long time without giving any thought about time. In sometime we had lost the rest of the human kind behind. We were all alone. We sat under a tree in the beach sand looking at the beach.

While walking back, Shantanu gently held my hand, I gave the hold a warm grip, which said, ‘I had the most beautiful day of my life.’

The Postponed Proposal (LX)

2009-06-02T16:13:00.000+05:30

I thankfully dedicate this post to the blog's recent followers Ravinder, Roshan, Janani and Titu.

Reviewed by Ridhi.

After that incident, after the election results, I distanced myself from Shantanu. I believed Shantanu’s chapter was over, once and for all. This made me get closer to Gokul. I almost said ‘yes’ to him.

I showed all signs of ‘yes’, though I didn’t say it. I started talking to him over phone, and the call times exceeded an hour. I listened to all the crap he spoke. I turned my face away from his eyes, whenever he gave a compliment and all such non sense for which I forever feel so embarrassed.

That weekend he flew from Bangalore to meet me. We spent some time out and he bought me gifts saying that they are from a ‘friend’ after which I couldn’t say ‘no’. He dropped me back at college. At college he tried to hold my hand, but I withdrew sharply.

Shantanu proved me wrong. He not only avenged Kiran, but it was more than just hurting back. He made Kiran apologize to Anu. I appreciated his patience and planning. We became friends again. It’s a universal truth that, after a duel out of misunderstanding the bond gets stronger.

Classes that were long forgotten due to internship and elections had to be taken care of. I learned 2 important subjects of that semester namely Distributed Systems and Computer Networks from Shantanu. After a little apology to Padma ma’am, she didn’t mind, and she taught me the 1st unit all over again.

College life was back to normal. The first assessment test was bad. Never mind, I had two more assessments, where I could prove ‘I am ELVIA’, as the mark consideration was best 2 out of 3.

Most of my classmates had become had made strong friends, who were said to last till the life’s end. Most of them hung around as gangs. A few gangs did name themselves like Pepsi gang, Five Star gang and lot other creepy names. They managed to abbreviate their names into some of these popular brands or products.

The gangs consisting of both boys and girls together were mostly from day scholars. There was always some sort of cold war between the bisexual and monosexual gangs. The chitchat of both these gangs was mainly constituted by gossips about love pairs in the class and college; thankfully they didn’t speak much about GPA or grades, with geeks like Ragu being exceptions.

“Hey heard that, Sivaranjani got a proposal lately”

“Oh from whom?”

“Hey guys”, Ragu enters the conversation.

“Hi Ragu, we are speaking about something interesting.”

“Oh well. Ya I do have something interesting.” Certainly after 3 semesters of being his classmate none expected him to speak of proposals or love, “Advanced Networking by Ferozoun was exemplary. I spent the whole night with that book”

However they had expected this kind of a statement, people still couldn’t control their annoyance. They hit their heads with a stressed, “Shiiiit”.

Coming back to the cold war, though the 2 types, may be 3 types, gangs with girls only, boys only and both, all gossiped, but the bisexual gang always accused the monosexual gang of defaming their friendship between guys and girls as love affairs.

At times, a few day scholar girls did say that, they hate most hostellers as they speak ill of their friendship with guys. Walking hand in hand and spending hours together in some corner of college did look oddly friendly for most hostel girls and of course for hostel guys, who were not born and brought up in a modernized city environment.

Certainly hostel girls had friends in the opposite sex at school in their home towns, but the relationship was restrained. They never walked hand in hand. They never hid themselves in a corner. They were good friends, who shared things right from their tiffin boxes to family problems and academics, but never hung around the campus outside their classrooms and definitely not for hours.

I did roam around with Shantanu, and people considered it love and I never protested against it. I never disguised it in the name of friendship. I acquiesced how I felt for him to my friends, though I couldn’t do the same to him.

I had to convince myself, that Shantanu and I were destined to be just friends, like the other city girls and guys, we were only friends. With such solacing explanations to our relationship, I tried to forget all the romantic feelings for Shantanu in my mind.

It was Thursday night. I was spending time with my laptop, partly studying, texting smses and chatting with my roommates. I got a message from Shantanu asking me to come to the Ganesh temple the next morning.

I asked him why? He called my phone and said, “Just come”

“But.. why in the morning? Why not we go in the evening as usual?”

“Tomorrow is special; I want you to come in the morning.”

“Ok”, I just agreed. Not again, I wondered what was so special about that Friday. Full moon day, no moon day or what else? Whatever be it why can’t it wait till evening?

Looking at my confusion, Divya who spent most of her time with us in our room asked me, “Hey what did he say?”

“Who?”

“Who!! Wasn’t that Shantanu to whom you just spoke?”

“Oh Ya, he called me to the temple tomorrow morning.”

“Morning? But why?”

“That’s what is bugging me”

“Whatever! you will find out tomorrow morning. Why do you bother yourselves for this?”

“No but, isn’t it strange?”

With a sarcastic smile, “My bro Shantanu does everything with a reason.” Anu retorted.

I decided to wait, but I couldn’t. Somewhere in a corner of my mind thoughts raced about his love for me. ‘May be he wants to propose me’. Certainly temple is not a romantic place, yet what else a spiritual person like himself would go for. He might even had requested the examination authorities to change his exam hall to the nearby temple.

My rational mind kept pushing these thoughts down. It kept saying, “Don’t bother yourselves with such thoughts, or you might have to face another big disappointment that will lower your spirits for the whole day.”

Finally my intuitions about his proposal gave up, and I stopped having hopes that he will ever propose me, and tried to sleep, but you know I couldn’t.

Friday morning, Shantanu was waiting at his usual waiting spot a few paces away from our hostel gate, to avoid the eyes of our warden. He was dressed in perfect formals like he was about to be interviewed for admissions into a B-School.

We spent sometime in the temple. Shantanu felt very uneasy, I could see it from his stressed face and his perspiration. I wanted to ask him, but I waited for him to say what’s wrong.

After all the rituals, we finally sat in the temple premise, which again is a sacred custom to sit for sometime before you leave the temple. Shantanu handed over a small piece of paper to me.

Eternal English Ever fails
To express her exquisite eyes.
Benzaiten’s human embodiment
Beaut of knowledgable teaching
Legendary Kings kill themselves
Losing to her love for her people.
Angels of heaven bow before this
Arch angel for her heavenly helm.
Broken hearts of humans fill the earth
Because of her, my lovely elegant Elvia.

I thought may be Anu will wake me up from my dream the next minute. Everything around came crashing towards me. I badly needed a CPR. I looked up from the paper.

He looked straight into my eyes and said, “Elvi; I love you”

BACK to ELVI

2009-06-01T12:01:00.000+05:30

The keyboard is all Elvia's now.

I am not sure whether you guys enjoyed what I wrote as you did Elvia's. Anyway with the last chapter(59th) my part of writing in this novel is over. I personally want to thank Ridhi and Padu for reviewing my posts and to all those who cared to comment. Thanks for all your support.

The Power of Ahimsa (LIX)

2009-06-01T11:41:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Padu & Ridhi.

It was a Monday evening. Our faculty started leaving the campus. One of the reputed professors of our department, Prof. Govind was about to lock his room. I talked to my juniors via conference call, “Team Prof on the move”

“Team Target come on line”

“Team Target Reporting Sir, Target is seated near the canteen as usual”

“Who is with him?”

“3 of his friends Sir, we are not sure of their names”

“Road Block team report”

“Road block team reporting Sir.”

“Immediately block the subsidiary road we want Prof to head to the Main Gate”

“Barricades in place Sir.”

“Good, Harini”

“Harini reporting Sir, I am ready near the target Sir.”

“Start action, Prof has started his car and he must be there in 2 minutes”

“Yes Sir.”

My reliable juniors helped me in this plot. I always dreamed of being a squad leader in a military mission or at least in an NCC camp. This passion of mine drove me into NCC, but for the girl of my dreams, I had to sacrifice these dreams.

NCC juniors who regulated traffic during parade practices came in handy, and of course the power of being the ruling party to bring in regulations in the campus. Blocking a road for a few minutes was no big deal.

Unfortunately I was unable to witness Harini’s exemplary performance; I was later given a description by Uma who accompanied Harini. Harini walked straight to Kiran and introduced herself.

Kiran spoke with the usual 4th year’s tone to a 1st year. She without any delay asked him why you did do that to Anusuya, she really loved you, and you betrayed her. She started firing abuses at him. Another team of my juniors ensured that they occupied the seating in the audible range of Harini’s voice such that none witnessed this scene with their ears.

The professor made a scene at the barricade, but my juniors managed him citing safety precautions at peak hours, and hence the road was closed for 4 wheeler traffic. After some 2 minutes of threatening and shouting he turned to the road to the main entrance.

Back to the scene, Kiran who already was in a bad mood because of the election failure was aroused badly. He would have hit Harini, if only she was a guy. He started yelling at her asking her to get out. Exactly when professor crossed the road, she walked away rubbing her eyes and imitating as if she was crying.

As expected he got down and caught those guys and a couple other lecturers joined him. Kiran and Co pleaded not guilty, but in vain, who would doubt the case stated by a first year girl against notorious 4th year guys. An enquiry was set up.

The panel was ready to take punitive action against the four, with Kiran being the main culprit. He requested and pleaded with the panel but in vain, “We are helpless in this Kiran. If the girl wishes, she can even lodge a police complaint.”

“Not only as raging, she can even add eve teasing to it. It’s all now in the girl’s hands.” I sat in the panel representing the college students’ board. I appreciated myself for the choice of a girl.

Kiran’s friends who were from rich and politically influential background and everything turned him down, fearing that anything they did against this case could have been fatal as a female student from a reputed institute was involved.

Kiran finally surrendered. He called Harini, and we arranged for a meet in a classroom. As soon as he saw me he jumped on me, “You bastard, I knew it must have been you.”

He tried to convince Harini, that he was good, and asked her not to believe me as his final desperate attempt, again in vain. He gave up, “So what is that you want.”

“Nothing. It’s all about Anu.”

Anu and Elvia walked into the class from the next room. He tried all his charms. I don’t remember the exact words, it was something like this “Anu I never meant that to you. You misunderstood me. Please forgive me, I still do love you.” He almost fell to her feet.

After a minute of silence Anu opened up, “I loved you” a drop of tear emerged out of her closed eyes. “I believed you. I believed you as were my life.”

It was a horrible site to see a full grown man cry. Yes, Kiran did cry, may be pretence. But he had to do everything he could, as his whole life was then in Anu’s hands. He just kept saying ‘sorry Anu, I didn’t mean to’ and stuff like that again and again.

“Get lost. At least be good to Rupa” and Anu started walking back. Elvia caught her hand, “Hey what nonsense, after all that he has done to you. You just let him go with it”

Anu ignored her and spoke to me, “Anna you have done this for me with immense efforts. But he is not worth being punished by a man of your stature. He will suffer for his sins.” I tried to interrupt her, she continued, “For my sake please spare him.”

First I didn’t get her, but later I realized that, the worst punishment on earth is forgiving. The lesson taught by the' father of our nation', ‘Ahimsa’. Kiran’s guilty consciousness almost killed him. I saw it on his face. He was ashamed of his deeds. In later days, I saw a great change in him. I saw genuineness in his words and his kinship.

Elvia gave a look of gratitude and her usual momentary smile, when she left holding Anu by her shoulders. I felt like shouting aloud, loud enough such that the entire city could hear of my bliss.

I thanked all my juniors, who helped me with this plot. Later as per Anu’s wish, we requested the panel to dismiss the enquiry on Kiran, stating that we didn’t want to ruin his future, and that Kiran had realized his mistake.

Elvia and I were back on speaking terms. That week I even taught her Distributed Systems and networks, for which I am till day very proud of, that I being a 7 pointer taught technical subjects to a geeky 9 pointer.

I had no intention of delaying things anymore. It’s high time I opened up to Elvia. I decided on how and when. I told myself, “It’s now or Never”.

The Plot (LVIII)

2009-05-30T21:53:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Padu & Ridhi.

I recognized him in the first sight, though he looked a little different from his picture on Orkut. Elvia and Gokul were walking side by side into our college. I was set on fire. Right from the hair on my scalp till my toes, I felt everything burning. He held her hand; I turned away at the right moment.

I couldn’t even tolerate someone holding her hands. I wondered, how I thought that I would stay with her forever as a good friend, just as a friend. Lost in agony, I walked back to our hostel.

The same person who told Manikandan about me, the same person who told me about Gokul’s proposal, called me, “Hi Preethi.”

“Hi Shantanu, how are you?”

“I am fine, how do ya do?”

“I am fine too. I called to tell you something important.” I knew she was about to, and I did know she was about to tell me about Gokul and Elvia. I waited to hear it from her.

“Today Elvia and Gokul went to a shopping mall, and he bought her some expensive gift.”

“Oh I see, ok I will ask her about it”

“Heard you are not in speaking terms with her.”

“No, nothing like that. We are just fine.”

I called Manikandan to ask him about it. His phone kept ringing, but he didn’t pick up. I knew he must have got so engrossed in his work. I checked whether he was online.

When others spent much time either programming their asses off or watching movies, I spent more time on the internet. I made a lot of friends on the internet than in the physical world around me.

That’s how I had got Manikandan’s acquaintance. As soon as I knew Elvia got her internship in that company, I searched for the company’s employees. With the subtle information and the 1 or 2 names she uttered to me on phone, I zeroed in on her team.

Step by step in a matter of a month I got to know Manikandan, Elvia’s team leader. Initially I didn’t tell him, that I knew Elvia. Later I told him like it was a coincidence, that my classmate was in his team.

But he was no dumb ass to believe my story. Right that moment he asked me, “Are you spying on her?”

I was taken aback, but before I could reply him anything, he just ignored the subject. Later on we got closer, that, he even discussed about Gokul to me, as I had said that I was just a friend.

Disturbing these thoughts my moto rang again. “Hey Mani” I would have loved Elvia to hear this.

“Hi man, wassup”

“Looks like Gokul came down to Chennai to meet Elvia. You never told me this”

“Well I didn’t know that”

“You didn’t?”

“Ya man, believe me. Anyway I am in office now so...”

“Ok fine will talk to you later.”

The cheerful hostel, which remained so even when we had a nightmarish semester exam in hours turned dark. Everything around me lost color. I felt an unknown anger surge in me. I didn’t know on whom I felt that angry or why. All I knew was I was so very angry.

The last look of Elvia flashed before me. It kept reappearing before me. I just lay down on my cot and closed my eyes, the blue eyes turned red again and again. My moto rang; I slowly opened my eyes and fumbled for my mobile phone on the table.

“Hi Anu”

“Hi na, how are you?”

“Fine dear. I am really, really sorry that...”

“That’s all fine na. I do understand the situation. I perfectly do”

“Hmm... thanks dear. At least you did.”

“Very soon Elvia will also understand.”

I knew she was about to tell me something, but she didn’t. That didn’t matter. I couldn’t stay calm anymore, after all he had done to my loving sister. ‘Avenge for Anu’ my soul kept nudging me, for my every breath.

I waited for an opportunity to make him feel the same pain as Anu. I knew physical hurting was no match to what he had done to Anu. He deserved something more. There was to be no more waiting. Opportunities are something that we create. I had made a decision.

First years had just then entered our college. My school junior Harini was one of them. She was a kind of girl, who never feared anything. She was a brilliant girl, well known for her courage at school.

I called her at once and explained everything about Anu and Kiran. She first hesitated a little, and then she acquiesced to the plan. I mailed her the picture of Kiran from our NSS albums.

I arranged for other people required for the plan. The 3rd day we were all set for the plan.

The Real Me (LVII)

2009-05-29T19:50:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Ridhi.

I write things that Elvia couldn’t cover namely boys’ hostel and viewing classes in the perspective of a 7 pointer. Hostel was heaven that’s what most of us will tell you at least after 2 years of staying there.

The frightful mess food, old paint withering walls, disturbances from 5.1s and other sound systems, buggers like Prabhu of our class, yet hostel life was so enjoyable. You could see all varieties of people at hostel, right from the drunkards, the chain smokers, the other sort of chain smokers who smoked out books, psychos, introverts, blabber maniacs, rumor rangers a lot of them.

And of course people who rarely fell into any category like me, or that’s what Elvia used to say I was and call me Mr.Unique. Only after she pointed out, I realized that, people who detest vodka, who feel it hard to breathe, when there is a smell of nicotine, being so deep into elections are a rare phenomenon. Not just that, the other thing was I was not from an influential family or the friend of the son of a big shot, yet I am a key person in college elections.

I hung out with a lot of people, but most relations were perfectly professional acquaintances. It would be either people who were involved in college elections or those who were part of college symposium or NSS peers or juniors. It might be because, I don’t trust people so deeply nor I rarely get emotionally attached with anyone, or because I am a control freak.

Half the college considered me and Elvia as an ideal pair, though we are black and white. We are just opposites in almost everything, right from me being a guy and she being a girl. Ya, that’s a joke, though it is an undisputed truth.

For this reason Elvia, though being a girl of the kind who would get at least a proposal a week, rarely got one. Everyone considered we were in love with each other. Mind you if I say, none would try and mess up with my girl. It became a de facto standard, that, the top guys in college elections are tuff guys.

I first saw her in our counseling. She was sitting a few rows ahead of me, when waiting for our admission letters. I wondered whether she would be in my department or if she chose ECE.

For the next ten days after counseling most of us would have dreamed of college. Even I did, but with Elvia in it. I wondered what her name might be, what department she belonged to, would I ever get a chance to speak to her.

Hence forth my college started with dreams about this girl. I knew it was stupid, love at first sight is perfectly insensible, yet I was obsessed, all my brain stopped working. I went crazy.

When I discovered that she belonged to CSE department, I don’t think I can ever explain how it felt like. You would have read that, I quit from NCC, as I wanted to spend time with Elvia by joining her NSS unit.

Many a once I saw Krishna and other smart or studious guys speak with Elvia for an entire break session, for almost 20minutes. Till date I wonder how they managed to speak so long. May be they spoke about C programming and how advanced java was when compared to C. Unfortunately I was not geeky enough in all that to strike a conversation with Elvia confidently.

I have heard friends say ‘why the hell lovely girls are often studious’, how unfortunate! Elvia turned out to be one such girl. I tried to be a 9 pointer but I never was able to be even an 8 pointer. I never love doing something I am not interested in.

At school my teachers had created an illusion that, college will be a dream world, like Utopia. They said that, I would have a nice time at college, more than all that I believed things would be more practical than theoretical. All in vain, none of them were true. I felt like doing a +2 every 5months.

I somehow managed +2 after a year of hard core schooling with, spending time at special classes and tuitions, and reaching home after 9PM. I couldn’t do that anymore. I wished, I do things that I felt were useful and the ones that made sense to me. I was bored of running behind marks or grades.

I got in touch with Elvia, thanks to NSS. Soon I learned that Elvia had more than just lovely looks. She was not just an angel by looks, but by heart and her very soul was divine. She was always honest, and she was straight forward, above all that, she did what she felt was right without pretending to be someone for the sake of others.

Days went by. I grew madder about her. I wanted to prove her, that, though I was not worthy enough to be a 9pointer I do have other skills. I got in all sort of extra-curricular or organizational activities in college and certainly I did well in all that, but I was not sure whether they impressed a good opinion in Elvia.

I wanted to open my heart and show her that she is embedded in every drop of my blood and every cell of my muscles, but I never was able to. She considered me a very good friend. In fact the best of friends, equal to Anu and Divya. I never could afford to mess it up.

I wanted to stay with her as long as I could. I didn’t want to distance her by opening up my love to her. Further, I feared, she would never love a 7 pointer and a political person. I tried my best to hide and suppress the overflowing emotions by letting her know how I felt about her.

At times it felt like I would live forever with this untold love staying by her side as a good friend. In fact that definitely was a better option, than she hating me forever for mistaking her friendship as love.

When it came to Anu, I stood by her word ‘brother’. I cared for her like I do for my own sister. On that day, I wanted to break Kiran into pieces, but how would people ever call me a good leader, if I let my personal emotions blast off all the hard earned results they had achieved.

Elections were not just my cause. It was not just my victory, but it was our victory. People had worked hard for months considering the difference between election triumph and defeat as the different between life and death. The victory was as much theirs as much it was mine.

Elvia didn’t understand all that, anger blinded her. I could see she was so very annoyed and angry at my passivity from her big blue eyes, which always had a loving look then stared at me with fury. The last look she gave me after that incident almost killed me, but I was standing there helpless. My boiling blood drained out completely at her misunderstanding. I was looking for an opportunity to prove she was wrong, most importantly to avenge for my beloved sister Anu.

My Part

2009-05-29T19:31:00.000+05:30

I am Shantanu Reddy

Thanks to Elvia and all those who voted in favor of me writing here. I m borrowing Elvia's keyboard for 3 chapters, after which she will have her keyboard all for herself. Please bear with me.

P.S. U can comment in this post regarding your approval or disapproval of me writing 3 chapters. Despite the poll results, if we find the reasons sensible, we will undo my writing.

THANK U

The Real Him (LVI)

2009-05-26T20:38:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Ridhi.

I overheard, what Ramesh was replying, keeping my ears close to Anu’s. It’s a fact that even Devil can’t say ‘no’ to a girl’s tears especially when that devil is male. Certainly Ramesh couldn’t say ‘no’. He agreed just for the heck of it, but he clearly sounded skeptical.

I called Shantanu and told him about this. He was standing right before the entrance of the ballot room where the representatives of various classes were to vote for the president. He overheard some conversation and told me that, Ramesh just lied to us.

I had no intention of making Anu cry anymore, and it served no purpose. Anyways the truth can’t be hid forever. The results will be out in half an hour. At least let her be happy till then.

Not just Anu, I myself felt so very broken. Something made me feel very bad about getting into elections. Though not for Shantanu, at least for Anu’s sake I had to be.
Lost in this thought mesh I just leaned over the wall with Anu lying with her head on my scalp.

Time passed by. Every second moved like a year. Minutes turned to be centuries and I spent a dozen of lifetimes in those few minutes. Good or bad, I wanted the results to be out soon. There was no hope. It was almost sure that they will win, but somewhere in a corner, my killer instinct kept saying that there was a chance.

After some half an hour, I got a call, I guessed it must be Shantanu, but it was a junior. I had no mood to advise any junior on Algorithms or Data Structures. I ignored the call. The phone rang again. I got irritated, yet I picked up.

“Hello….”

“Akka we won, we won” Anu’s mobile, Diviya’s mobile almost every mobile in my audibility range rang. Another friend came dashing through our doors shouting, “we won”

I could hear the loud cheer from the direction of the main building. The cheer spread to all parts of the college. I wondered whether Anu’s tears worked, or did some supposedly sold off junior changed his mind at the last moment. I wanted to know whether we just won by 1 vote.

I called Shantanu, “:Hey..”

I could only hear loud noises and cheer. Full of distinctive voices, he hung up.

I called again, no response. After some ten minutes he called me back, there was still the background noise. “Elvi Elvi we won! we won!”

“I know that, by how many votes”

“By 3 votes that’s the best part. Hey I..”, his voice broke.

”Hey one sec, one sec don’t hung up.”

“aaa, ya ya tell me soon”

“Can we come down now. “

“Sure, sure come on here. I will bust their asses if someone bug you. Come onnn…” he hung up. Anu was on cloud 9. She thanked all the numerous Gods she had been praying all this time. We couldn’t wait anymore, we ran down to join the cheering.

Every road every place, everywhere we could see there was cheering and teasing the losers. I personally don’t approve of winners teasing the losers. But for all Kiran had done, I wished at least Anu made a ‘thumbs down’ gesture at him.

We rushed to join Shantanu, who was in cloud 9Ks. Most of our juniors were there. People rushed from all sides to congratulate us as if we won the presidency. The pleasant quiet breeze of our campus was now filled with bliss in every bit.

We finally reached Shantanu. He almost hugged me, even I wanted to, but the cultural constraints of India stopped us. Still he hugged me and Anu catching our shoulders. We hugged other girls there. The air was filled with the smell of triumph.

After almost an hour of cheering and hugging and everything, we walked our way back to our hostels. Shantanu, Anu and I walked on the road to our hostel. At a distance I saw Kiran walking towards us. I prodded Anu to tease him. She remained silent.

‘Why on earth some girls are so weak?’ I cursed her, and continued to walk ignoring him. Kiran came near us and before anyone of us could say something, if at all we wanted to, he, “Hey bitch, you won with your street girl charms…”

He abused Anu and me with such terms and called Shantanu a pimp. I could feel my blood boil with all his abuses, and I wanted to give him a strong kick, but I had to catch Anu who almost collapsed.

Shantanu coolly asked me to stay calm, as any violence or anything of that sort that day will affect the election's credibility. He was so concerned about his post and his position in the college committee. He remained was cold, numb and never showed any signs of annoyance.

We walked away from him. More than Anu’s sobs, I felt very bad, about falling in love with such self centered, power greedy monster.

Anu’s cloud 9 dissolved in her tear rain. As dad’s advice I satisfied myself with optimistic thoughts, that things would have been worser if Kiran won. I started hating Shantanu, more than I hated Kiran.

I believed, I had learned the real Shantanu, but I was soon proven wrong.

Power of a Girl’s Tears (LV)

2009-05-25T20:14:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Ridhi.

I was lying on the bed, when Anu called Shantanu, “Hi na, what’s the status?”

Anu addressed Shantanu as Elder brother. She always wanted someone to love her and care for her. She, who lived with minimal relations, would have definitely fell for Shantanu’s charms, and I bet she would have had even given half her father’s savings as his share as a hire.

I came back to the outside world, “So the fate lies in the hands of 4th year mech.”

I didn’t hear the other side of the conversation. I eagerly waited for her to hang up.

“Hey..”

“They are leading by one vote. 4th yr mech classes have decided, that, they will go for voting for the same side. So only if both of them vote in favor of us, we would win”

“Initially one of them was on our side, right?”

“Ya, looks like they don’t want their department’s integrity to be disturbed by elections. So they have decided to stay together.”

“But how will they decide on which side both of them will vote?”

“He said something which I couldn’t make out. The elections in their classes must be going on now”

“Guess their classes must be in their department itself”

“Ya, but the elections are going on in the humanities block as it is closer, when compared mech dept.”

Speaking this, we got ready to get down. ‘Even if there is an earth quake, girls will never come out of the building without a few layers over their façade.’ Recalling one of our seniors, Mohan’s words, I came out of our room smiling.

Anu and I leaped for every step, but didn’t run, though we badly wanted to. Shantanu and Co were standing there before the building waiting for the results. Similarly the other side guys and girls were also there. Almost half the college waited there.

The road separating the CSE department from the Humanities block was completely blocked for traffic. We fought our way to Shantanu, but couldn’t get there. So we asked a nearby 4th year of our side, “What’s happening?”

“Mech dept elections”

“Oh we know that.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“I mean, have they decided on what side they are voting for.”

“Looks like they will count the total number of votes in both the classes, and if the net count of votes in a side is well ahead of the other, what then that side wins this election”

“Oh my God”, Shivering I punched a few alphabets in my mobile. “Divi divi where are you?”

“I..”

”Forget it. Now listen, in mech dept they have decided.” Gasping for breath, “that they will vote, based on the total number of…”

“Hey hold it, hold it, I am standing before the block under the Neem tree near physics dept. I have heard of all that.”

”Oh well fine. Now listen, your school mate, who is he? Praa..”

“Prabhakaran”

“Ya him. You said that he is voting for the opposition only because his class will win on the opposition whether or not he voted for them. So..”

“Ya got it. Now if he votes for us that will count”

“Ya, now you…”, she hung up. She must have cut my call to call him.

I saw her speaking over phone near the Physics department. I walked past the crowd pulling Anu. A guy was praying, looking straight into the sky; another was biting his finger nails. We came off the road near the physics department. I engulfed the pleasant breeze of the fauna of our campus.

Running to her, “hey what did he say?”

“Hmmm.. he is just prattling over some non-sense. I am not sure of him”

We waited and suddenly the murmurs rose too loud. Sensing the meaning of it, we ran towards the entrance of the block. It was jam packed. People were speaking a lot of things. I was unable to make out anything.

But one thing was sure, the battle was not over. If either of us had won, there would have been heavy cheering and teasing the others. I called Shantanu, the line was busy, after some few minutes he picked up. “Hey what’s happening?”

”I am kinda busy talk to you later. Where are you?”

“Near the block”, I could hear background shouting and arguments.

“What the hell! Get out now. Go back to your hostel. Things will get dirty here. Get out now”

“But..” he was no more on the line. Before I could say anything, Divya, “hey guess we gotta get out of here”

Back in our hostel, a 4th year girl told us that the vote difference was so close. “Our side was just 4 more votes than theirs. Our side guys are arguing that they stand by their words. The others are fighting that the difference is so small and so they will have one vote for them and the other for us.”

Finally, the case came to a conclusion, that, one of the classes will vote for us, and the other will abstain from elections. This left the result hanging, and if they managed to convince Ramesh, the Printing dept representative, they will win.

“They have almost done with Ramesh”, someone said.

Hearing this, Anu almost fainted. I called Aiswarya the senior whom I knew in that dept. I tried to convince her, but in vain, she said she is helpless.

Finally, I zeroed in on the final desperate attempt, which had some probability of victory. I said, “Kiran would be cheering by now. For another year we are going to live with this.”

Anu broke out. I immediately called Aiswarya and put the phone near Anu. I knew that was dirty, and may be even cruel. I cursed myself to have got influenced by Shantanu’s political sickness. But in the long term, if it worked, Anu will definitely be very happy. Consoling myself with that thought. I waited for Anu to hang up.

She cried for some time. Aiswarya, a soft natured girl, got her heart dissolved in Anu’s grief.

Finally, “I will try my best dear. I will speak to him right now.”

We hugged Anu and consoled her wondering, whether Aiswarya will mange to influence her boy friend.

By 3.20PM we got a call from Aiswarya, “Hi ka” I stopped from going further. I didn’t want to sound desperate. The polling will start by 3.30PM

“Hi dear, is Anu still crying?”

“Yes ka, she is lying on her bed. We tried to console her, but in vain”

“Hmmm.. I tried but Ramesh was not convinced.” I could hear all my insides crash.

She continued, “But if Anu speaks to him, may be he will acquiesce. I know him. He is kind hearted. If Anu speaks to him, there is a good chance. Meanwhile I will speak with other girls in my class and try to thrust him in voting for you.”

Almost all hope is lost. “Thanks ka”, I meekly replied, and hung up.

Just for the heck of it, I dialed for Ramesh, and gave the mobile to Anu. She started to speak with tears in her eyes. Sobbing she fumbled for words.

I sat near her, wondering whether these tears had the power to change the future.

The E Day (LIV)

2009-05-22T21:03:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Nathan, Ridhi, Ironmonkey and Padu.

“What’s the 1st hour?”

“Never mind, I am not attending”

I called Shantanu, “Hey, when will we have the results?”

“Hope you know the election procedures”

“Hmmm.. first the representatives for all the classes have to be elected. Then, the class reps will vote for the president.”

“Yup, so first of all the class reps have to be elected for all the classes of all departments of 2nd, 3rd and 4th years. This will be completed at the earliest by 5th hour i.e. around two. So the earliest time we would have the final result is by 2.30”

“How are the hopes?”

“4th years we have 5 sure for us, 6 for them and 1 in dilemma. Our years, it’s 7-7, neck on neck. 2nd years, we don’t have an exact estimate, possibly our department and IT, with you in our side we have them with us so 4, Divya influenced 2 classes in ECE, similarly in mech we have 2, but the other departments we have no clue.”

“So if only we have second years we will win.”

“Absolutely. Our seniors are working on the 4th year printing department. People say they are abstaining from the elections. Looks like we are almost neck on neck in 2nd years, if we lose to them in 4th years, we are gone.”

“Printing? I know Aiswarya akka, she might help us influence them”

“I personally do know the ‘would be’ class rep. Even then we are still unable to convince them. Lets see, if you want to give a try, very well, go ahead.”

“Update me on anything you get to know”

“Sure, keep track of the second year girls. You even know a few ECE and CSE guys, just keep in touch with them. Though they count as sure, we gotta be careful.”

“Get the car. Keep him safe”

“What?”

“Ha it’s here. Hey I am getting a bit busy. Will update you. Remember what I said. Bye”

Now, I had no intention of attending the classes. I walked with Anu to junior’s block. Our juniors seemed excited. We had a warm welcome, with them firing their election queries at us.

We influenced a few girls to influence their friends in other departments. I made an analysis on second year possibilities. In 3 departments the class rep election was neck to neck. In just 2 or 3 votes the fate of those classes may vary.

I sketched a plan, we decided on using girls’ power and guys’ weaknesses. I focused on those 2-3 dilemma votes in those departments. We looked for girls, who were friends with those people.

The girls brought them to meet me personally, and what else, I used all my charms to canvas their brains. Most of them did nod their heads well, but I didn’t think they were really convinced. We saw to that, we get some people, who supported us from that class, to encircle these dilemma guys so that, they were not approached by the other side.

Time was then 10.15AM. Anu, Divya and I were in our morning break rounds to our juniors. We tried, if we could pull in one or two of the opposite side’s 8 in our years, but as Shantanu said, they proved as sure as the 8 on our side. So, we decided, that, we would better work on 2nd years.

We walked in the corridors, crossing age old pillars and classrooms. We reached the main door of a 2nd year CSE class room. I climbed up the dais with a serious expression, with Anu and Divya waiting near the dais with similar expression.

“Friends, who are we voting for?”

“You”

“Well, well, we are voting for the good people. Fine…”

The would be class rep interrupted, “Akka, we are sure ka, there is nothing to worry about. You better concentrate on other departments.”

“I know that dear, I know that for sure. But now I have come only in regards with the other departments. Our victory lies in the verdict of the second years now”

Anu joined me, “2nd yr votes are going to be the deciding factor. Not just this year elections, even for the forthcoming years, if we have to win we have to make sure we have the other 2nd years also with us.”

I, “So, we want you to talk to your friends in other departments. We have to work fast, and work now. I am not asking you to cut classes. Classes are important, but something can change our future…”

“Akka, if you can tell us the departments to work on we will work more focused.”

“Most of the departments are in dilemma. Every single person you pull, in we would be at a vantage point.”

“But hasn’t Divya akka made sure of ECE?”

“Ya she has, but one class is still dangling. So friends we need to go now. Our hopes, now lie in your hands. All the best.”, I stepped down from the dais, and we repeated this for all the other ‘sure on our side’ 2nd year classrooms.

It was 11.00AM then, elections had got over in most of the 2nd and 3rd year classes and the results were very much as predicted. The dilemma printing rep had been elected, but he hadn’t voted till then. Out of the 6 classes, that had elected their reps in the 2nd years, 3 were ours and 3 theirs, and 1 unsure.

By lunch break, the overall result was, 13 for us and 14 for them.

I called Shantanu, “Hey”

“ya tell me”

“How is it going?”

“Nightmare. They are buying out the reps, who were supposed to vote for us.”

“What?”

“I gotta go”

I prayed like I had never done before. We had done everything in our power. There was nothing more we could do. We sat in our room in silence. I just rested on my bed, thinking of the elections. More than elections, I was deeply concerned about Anu and Kiran.

Final Phase Campaigning (LIII)

2009-05-20T17:14:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Ridhi and Padu.

Campaigning inside the hostel continued throughout the weekend. I was so sucked into the elections, that, I even forgot the 2 weeks of my absence from the classes. Anu spoke with our representatives in various departments, and arranged for mini meets, micro meets and the likes within our hostel blocks.

Time just then passed 9.30PM. We ensured that the Resident Councilor finished her round of night attendance and then we moved in. After some 15minutes Anu, Divya and a couple other girls from other departments collected 23, 2nd year girls, and assembled them in one of my junior’s room.

I sat near the window, which was just opposite to the door. On the cot right to me 6 girls sat, and on the cot to my right 7girls crushed themselves. A few others sat on another cot near the door. Anu and Divya sat on the chairs near the door. The rest were standing. I started my usual, yes it had become my usual political talk.

The talk continued for more than 10 minutes, followed by a Q&A session. I gave out promises about things, that, I never knew existed in our college. I talked about their profanation towards college, which again I never knew they did. All I wanted was their votes.

At the end most of them were convinced, which again was, as usual. Not just my department girls, but even other department people had some respect for me. Thanks to the computer basics classes, which I took last year for the first semester students.

I had become a social figure, a charming leader and one of the top class female politicians in college. It did make me feel good. I tried to control myself from being a victim for power temptations. Nevertheless I wished, I had a post. Shantanu promised me something powerful next year.

Monday morning, after munching in some mess food, we ran to our classes. I sat in my usual place in the second bench next to Anu. The first hour was the class of Dr.Sushma our Distributed Systems faculty. She entered the class with her ever lasting cute smile.

She had this habit of questioning the absentees of the previous class about what had happened in the last class. “If you missed a class, well it’s alright. It’s not possible to attend all classes. But you should ensure, that, you have learned, what you missed, if at all you want to attend my next class.”

She started calling out names, “Abitha Vijaykumar, Anusuya, Arvind…”. “Elvia, absent for all the previous classes”.

“Mam I had been to internships at Bangalore. I came back last Friday night”

“Well, so, have you learned, what has been taught in the last six classes?”

I shuddered, “Mam I started learning, mam, but haven’t completed everything”, I lied.

“In two days, can’t you learn what happened in six hours?” I cursed myself for saying Friday night.

“Mam there are other subjects too. I gave my time equally to all subjects.” I managed.

“Hmm.. anyway this is your first class in Distributed Systems. So this class you are excused. When is your next class?”

“Tomorrow 4th hour mam”, other people replied.

“Hmm.. by then I want you to cover all that has been taught”

I obediently nodded. The class went on. She drew boulder like circles in different fashions, and called them nodes. Drew lines between them, and called them connections. “As we have already seen a single way connection is prone to break up, and leave the entire system idle. So what do we do?”

“Back up connections”, Shantanu and a couple others answered. It’s not the very first time Shantanu answered, yet I was a little petrified.

“So what shall we do?”

“We make it…”, Shantanu again. I was thoroughly annoyed. ‘How the hell?’ Looking at my puzzled expression, Anu, “Hey he has been doing well at DS classes. In fact he is kinda fave to mam”

“But besides the elections, how does he do all that?”

“I have no idea.” The lecture continued for another half an hour, and he had answered at least half a dozen times. In spite of my absence, I understood a few concepts, and I even answered a question near the end of the class. Mam gave a smile, which comforted me.

The next class was math, ‘Wow Padma mam’ my insides cheered. She never failed to identify me, “Hey Elvi you are in this class”

“Yes mam, I had been to internships..”

“Ha, I remember reading your name in the attendance. So how was the internship?”

“It was good mam. I learned a great deal”

Smiling, she completed the attendance and started teaching. Discrete mathematics I heard was interesting. But I had no clue on what she was teaching. After sometime, reading my petrified expressions, “Dear, you missed some classes. Don’t worry, you will make it up. Meet me this evening after classes”

Anu reminded, what was running in my mind too, “We gotta do a lot more campaigning this evening”.

The other classes moved similarly. In the evening forgetting Padma mam, we continued campaigning.

Tuesday morning first hour, Dr. Arundati Palaniswamy, the most popular AP ma’am had some important work, possibly related to the fair play of elections, and she abstained from classes. We used every gap every opportunity for election campaigning.

Wednesday morning, I got up. Dresses to be washed were in the dirty dress basket, hand key of a junior who was an active person in elections, was lying on the floor. She must have missed it last night.

Rubbing my eyes, I walked to the bathroom, thinking about the fate of the elections.

On my return, Anu, who had just then woke up, “If we lose, I would rather die, than facing that bastard.” This set my heart on fire. I grew more anxious about elections.

Back Home (LII)

2009-05-19T22:09:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Padu.

The aircraft touched down the Chennai runway. Blood warmed up at the feeling of getting back home. With too many ‘What to dos?’ in my mind, I walked out after checking out my baggage.

Losing faith on my eyes, I rubbed them twice, but the image was still there. Shantanu was there waving at me. He carried my bag, and with a cheerful smile, “How was the flight?”

Before I could ask him anything with his usual swift paced walk he was already near the car. We got in the back seat.

“Whose car is this?”

“My friend’s, this is Manoj 3rd year Mech”, pointing to the guy at the wheel.

A feeling of fear crawled in with the pleasantness of his receiving me at the airport. ‘So, I have become one of the hot personalities in election for people to send a car for me’.

Then popped up the big question, “Hey, how did you know that I am..”

“Manikandan told me”, he called the name. Though many did, I rarely called our team leader by name.

“Ok how do you know him?”

“Come on, there is too much for me to tell you. Have you started speaking with our juniors?”

“Hello I have just now landed in Chennai”

”You call yourself a computer science student! I asked you to mail them, didn’t I?”

“Oh Ya, I did, the responses are not so good”

“They won’t be. Never mind. Once you speak to them, everything will be fine.”

He added, “See there are some factors that you have to consider before you start speaking to someone. You must have made an analysis on who the listener is, and who you are to the listener”

“Ok, so how do I categorize them?”

“In our context little categorization is needed. You are a nerdy senior ,and for at least half the nerdy juniors, your words are like instructions to an 8085”

“What?”

“ha to a geek I just used some geeky terms. I meant that they won’t be bugging you with questions, they will just obey”

“But what do I tell them. Vote for Shantanu”

“Goof it’s not Shantanu. I am not contesting for the president. By the way never ask for votes in the first place”

“Then?”

“Tell them what we are, and what they are”

“What are we, and what are they”, I asked like a KG kid questioning her father.

“Hmm.. well. You say that they are corrupted. They are bad guys and..”

“And we are good guys”

“Certainly. Use Kiran as bait. Tell everyone about how bad he is, especially girls. We have covered most of the boys. In fact you may never have to speak to guys, but the ladies hostel is entirely yours to handle”

“What the hell? There are only 4 more days for the election, and you are entrusting such a big thing on me”

“Chill it. I just exaggerated. There are already key people like Anu. They have covered girls well. All you have to do is give the final booster shot, and pull in the dilemma ones towards us”, ‘key people’, ‘Anu’ Whoaaa!!!

He continued, “and Anu, man she is.. I bet if someone could win by sympathy wave she would be the best amongst them”

“What are you saying?”

“She has literally cried in more than three meetings.”

“You are sick. How could you be so heartless?”

“Hey, hey, hold it. I understand how bad the pain is. That’s why I gave her the frontier in this battle. I didn’t ask her to do anything like that. It was she who chose to do all that. She finds bliss in every vote that we pull away from them”

“Things are really getting dirty.”

“Play dirty, while you play with dirty people.”

“Oh what did they do?”

He showed me a band aid on Manoj’s head. “Look”

“I am going to speak to the VC right away. I am going to stop it all at once”

“Hello, cool it. These things are common, and they are going to pay for the same.”

“You are going to beat them back”

“Certainly”

“Oh my God. When? Whom?”

“Everyone of those deranged dogs.”

I whispered, “So what about the ninja attach on Kiran?” He just smiled.

We reached college. It was 6.00PM. I settled down in my room. Juniors swarmed around me.

“How was the company?”, “Will you get placed in the company?”, “What exactly is an internship?” dozens of such questions were fired on me from all sides.

All I said was, “We are before something very important. Our future is at stake. I will tell you in detail about the intern after the elections”

“What’s so important about elections?”

“How irresponsible! All of us will be affected by the results of the election. The reputation of the college will suffer if the power falls into the hands of sick people.”

“So whom do you support? Ruling or the opposition?”

“Hey, akka is Shantanu anna’s friend. So she will be supporting the opposition”

Though I got stunned for a second I collected myself, “I support the good people”

“Good people”

“Yes”

“Who are the good people?”

“Last year those bastards spoiled our college’s image. They are the embodiment of venality, corruption and all sorts of power abuse.”

“Oh we never knew all this”

“Yes you don’t. You were in your first years. Make a good decision, and make it now. We are responsible for saving our interests.”

“So you say we have to vote for the opposition”

“Certainly yes. Last year they did everything within themselves. They never gave a chance for us, for fear of we finding out the truths about them”

“So this year we will be doing all college events”

“Of course we will be”

“So sure ka, we will vote for the good people”

I just smiled. After everyone left Anu, “Man you rock. You are the ideal pair for Shantanu”. I wondered, whether he gave any thought at all about this.

Good-Bye Bangalore (LI)

2009-05-19T13:00:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Padu and Ridhi.

The week went on as usual. As the team leader had promised, people rarely spoke about Gokul’s love for me. In fact they showered more love on me, may be out of the guilty feeling. It was more like feeling at home, but with too many brothers and sisters in the absence of mom and dad.

I didn’t act any different towards Gokul. I got along with him normally. The environment was cheerful. There was not much work, I was there just for the sake of completing the sixth week.

Mostly, I sat with any of the senior employees there like our team leader and kept bugging them with too many questions. Certainly, some did mind it, but I never did. I continued to bother them. The worst victim of my botherations, our team leader, never seemed to mind. This made him the worst affected victim of my queries.

It was my last day at the interns. Friday morning, I was loitering in our office, humming a Hindi song. Even the few who used to mind, didn’t bug me that day as they would get rid of me from the next day. I bid adieu to every soul, every terminal, almost every object in the company. It was a feeling of a very strong emotional attachment.

I had to be there in the company till 6PM or at least five. So I planned to take the train by 9.30PM as promised to Shantanu. ‘I don’t give a damn about him’, my mind said, yet I did’t want to let him down. At least for Anu, for Kiran’s treachery, I wanted to be there.

By 12.30PM, my team leader, “Hey you still are loitering here”

“Oh I thought you didn’t mind. I am sorry”

“What nonsense! I am asking about your train”

“Train?”

“Ya guess the next train to Chennai is at 2.00PM”

“But I have to be here till five na”

“Silly that’s not a problem. Anyway if you are leaving by tomorrow then fine”

“No I am leaving tonight. Have some work at college”

“At night?”

“Hello the train will reach Chennai only by tomorrow morning”

“Ok so, I don’t think you have college on Saturdays”

“No, but elections are less than a week”

“Wow! I never expected a geek to be part of college elections”

“Geek!!! Stop kidding”

“Well so leave now”

“Even if I leave now, it will be late, and I have to report to the manager”

“Screw him. I will take care of all that. I will drop you at the station”

“But baggage?”

“Come on then run lets go to your apartment”

We ran down to the basement parking. He swiftly drove his ‘Maruti Suzuki Swift’. I was waiting outside the parking. The red beast stopped in front of me. I got in the front seat.

“Put on the seat belt”

Am I going to be in a flight or what? Anyway I just obeyed. Soon I realized that he was right. If not for the seat belt, I would have been badly hurt. We reached my apartment by 1.03PM I remember every minute for I was looking at my watch for every 2 seconds.

“Hello, even if you continue this mad driving we won’t be there on time”

“Shut up and pack up now”

With a heavy sigh, I walked to the elevator and reached my floor. I casually started packing up knowing that, reaching the railway station that’s kilometers away in the Bangalore city is practically impossible.

After some 15mins I came down. “Hey quick get in”

Throwing my suit bag, and my laptop case in the back of the car, we started the mad drive again. It was 1.30PM. “Are we going to catch the train in the next station?”

He remained silent. ‘What on earth is he up to?’ I mumbled and I just continued to enjoy the ride. It was more like the swift ad. Just the camera was missing.

Take off sound of an aircraft engine sounded very close. ‘Am I going to the railway station?’ Soon my dubiety was answered. The Swift entered the airport parking. I could see the domestic airlines entry before me.

“But..”

“Quick the flight is at 2.00PM run”

He carried my bag and I took my laptop case. We literally ran into the airport.

“It will take time to buy the tickets. I don’t have the money either.”

Gokul was standing there with a slip of paper, and yes it was the air ticket. He gave it to me. I hesitated. “A small gift from me, as a loving brother.”, our team leader.

I couldn’t say ‘no’ anymore. “Elvi before you go..”

“I will always be waiting for you. However long it takes. I will be waiting. When you decide on something do tell me”

I just nodded my head in silence and ran to boarding. With a feeling of gratefulness to God for giving me such an internship, I put on the seat belt. The thought of the Swift ride gave me a smile.

Thinking about how I was to go about the elections and make up for the past couple of weeks of classes, I leaned on the business class seat.

Making of the Proposal Plan (L)

2009-05-18T08:35:00.000+05:30

Reviewed by Padmaja. Thank u dear.

I got up the next morning. The opening thoughts of the day were the same as the closing thoughts of yesterday. I dismissed those thoughts, and tried to concentrate on the day to day activities.

Time was 5.55AM, and the other girls were still in bed. I got up as I had gone to bed early last night. I got up, and sat on the bed staring at the mirror.

First thing was my distorted appearance, with last evening’s make up all together botched up. The next thing was Shantanu from my dreams looking straight into my eyes ‘I Love you’ followed by the reality of Gokul’s image.

Annoyed I got up from bed and walked to the washroom. Just to avoid my inner thoughts, I concentrated on everything around Oral-B tooth brush, Himalya tooth paste, the oval shaped mirror, the stylish tap at the wash basin, and every other thing.

I was brushing looking at myself at the mirror. For some reason I hated myself and turned away. Mouth wash tasted bitter. I went for a shower, soaking myself for half an hour in the bath tub. Washed off all the thoughts and walked out.

I sat before my dressing table mirror, and I started making up. Dad’s voice echoed inside, ‘Your inside is reflected in your appearance and vice versa’. I worked on the vice versa. I should look cheerful, if I really want to be.

I hit myself, ‘Why on earth should I be sad?’ ‘That idiot is damn unlucky to miss me.’ With this thought, sat near my study table, and opened my laptop. The usual mail from a computer engineer’s group with a few break through developments in the field, and the usual semantic puzzle for a problem to be solved with computers.

I started working on the problem. Initially it was nerving, I concentrated more, and in a few minutes I cracked it down. I tapped my shoulders, ‘Elvia is great’ laughing to myself I shut it down.

Without minding the other girls I just walked down to leave for the company. Itwas just 8.00AM then, and half the city was still asleep. The road was free, and I searched for an autorickshaw. I Got in.

The half a dozen autodrivers there knew, where people from that apartment will be going in the morning. But at eight in the morning, he was a bit confused, as I didn’t say anything he drove me to our company.

The security gave me a little creepy look, though I wass just 30minutes early. Of course that did make sense, though the shift starts by 9.00 people don’t get there on time. Our team area was deserted. Our pop workaholic team leader alone was there, smiling cheerfully at me.

“Oh Elvi guess this is the time you get up from bed”

“Well ya, I am straight from my bed to see our beloved team leader working when the owls go to bed”, I didn’t make any sense, but I blabbered something just for the sake of a reply.

He laughing, “You don’t look like you have come directly from bed”

Neither I cared to reply nor was he looking for one. I sat before my terminal, pressed the power button with HP embossed on it. I comfortably leaned on the cozy chair waiting for Windows to load.

Windows 2000 in the blue background flashed bright. I tried to recall the reasons cited for sticking to 2000, rather than going for XP. It was boring to start then. So I thought I would go have a conversation with the boss.

I knocked his cabin door which was open as usual. “You can always walk into this cabin sweetheart” The 30 year old, married thoughtful team leader said, still looking at his terminal’s screen.

“Do you detest your wife”

“hell no”

“Then why don’t you spend some time with her”

“I do, but she is not at home now”

“Oh so she has not been at home for the past month”

“Ya she is in her Mom’s place. We are gonna have a baby”

“Wow that’s great news you never told me”

”You never asked.”

“Hello how do you expect me to ask every married man here whether his wife is pregnant”

“Ok Chill. I was just kidding. Well so what brings you here so early?”

“Don’t change the topic. First tell me, where is the treat?”

“Nandhini Palace”, with a chauvinist smile.

“You know that, don’t you?” the mysterious smile.

“You know what happened yesterday”

“I knew what was going to happen day before yesterday. In fact I chose the place. Hope you liked it, and your favorite Kanimozhi is the one who prepared the dialogue”

“What? But I never expected this from you”

“Hey why are you getting so pissed off?”

“No I am not but…”

“Hey hold it. How do you feel about me?”

“What kind of a question is that?”

“Just tell me. How bossy or friendly I am”

“Hmm.. you are a perfect mix thought I didn’t know much about you”

“Well everyone in this team are good friends, and I ain’t no exception”

“So you advised Gokul on how to propose to me”

“Not exactly, not just me”

“Then?”

“Half the team here did”

“What the hell”

“Of course dear. You have become our princess here in these few days. No wonder someone fell in love with you, and Gokul is not a bad match either”

“But..”

“Ya we know. It’s too early for you to marry someone, but nothing wrong in him opening his love to you. May be he will never get a chance again”

“Hmmm.. but still I am not convinced”

“Hey Gokul is kinda shy. May be he sounds nerdy, but he is fun to be with when you get along”

“Hello I am not speaking about him, but you”

“Me???”

“No, everyone of you”

“Oh dear, we are sorry if that was something that annoyed you. Look”, turning to face me for the first time.

“Opening up someone’s heart to someone he is in love with is natural, and is in no way wrong as long as he is honest. It’s now up to you to make a choice, and we are not going to interfere in your decision. None of us will ever speak about this anymore I promise”

“Hmmm.. I am sorry if I sounded rude”

“Oh dear. You are always our cute little princess. Never mind” Of course I was the youngest in the team, younger than Bagya and Padma, but that was bit too much exaggeration.

I remained silent. A few of our team members were already there. I didn’t know whether I should stay or leave. Confused I just remained seated next to him.

I started thinking. If all these people recommend Gokul, he can’t be a bad choice and I needed something to get rid of Shantanu madness. I was getting near a decision.

Divya's Advice (XLIX)

2009-05-16T21:36:00.000+05:30

He gave the pack to me beaming. I couldn’t control my temptation to tear it open, with palms catching each other to control their shivering.

“Shall I open it now?”

“Sure”, I expected him to keep the suspense till I go home, as he might fear to open it up looking into my eyes. Should I feel happy or..? Whatever, let me open it.

Trying to hide my anxiety I slowly pealed off the gift wrapper. “I made good profits after you had asked me to stop speculation. I liquidated some cash. This is from those profits”, cheerfully.

It was a 2GB HP pendrive. WTF. My computer brain worked. May be the love letter is in the pendrive, softcopy. Just then I noticed that the pack is completely sealed.

Dullness clouded my face uncontrollably. Almost all hope is lost. He finished the burger. I couldn’t face him. I wanted to run away. I gulped the coke float, felt a little better.

“Ok yaar, it’s time for me to leave. I must be there by tonight. Waiting to see you in college”

“Hmm.. ok lets move”

We walked down stairs. He should have noticed my disappointment, but he didn’t react. On reaching the foot path, “How will you go back?”

“Auto”

“Hmmm.. fine. Take care.”

I walked to the nearest autorickshaw. I looked back with a final piece of hope, he still was looking at me. I continued walking, I got in the auto, and turned back again, he is gone.

My head ached heavily. Too much anxiety and expectation, all for a silly pendrive. Everything darkened around me. It’s not just because it’s time for sunset, but all my light is gone.

The pleasant evening, the greenish surroundings, I was in no mood for them. I saw a girl clutching to a guy tightly on a pulsar. I didn’t felt the warmth of it, rather I got irritated.

On reaching our place I absent mindedly walked away. “Madam, paisa?”

‘Shit’ I hit my head and gave him a 500 rupee note and walked away again. “Madam Change”

I was too annoyed to hit myself again; I walked to him, and grabbed the change, and started walking without any thought of counting it.

I fell on my bed. I was not sleeping, nor was I crying. Lost in thought, Gokul, Shantanu and many other things raced in my mind. I didn’t know for how long, Bhagya and the other girl came in some time before. They didn’t bother me.

The time now is 9.00PM. Fumbling for my mobile, I sat up. Wanting to break the solitude I dialed mom’s number, something came up, I cut the call. Then I called Anu.

“Hey, did you meet him”

“Ya I did”

“You sound dull, what happened?”

“Nothing”

“Then why do you sound dull?”

“That’s why?”

“What?”

“Because nothing happened”

“hmmm… I get you. Cool yaar, there is still time”

“No yaar. I am not gonna wait for him anymore”

“Hmmm… it’s up to you”

“I had no time to tell you, what happened in Nandhini Palace”

“Oh even I forgot to ask you. Tell me. What did that.. what’s his name?”

“Gokul. He proposed me”

“What?”

“Ya he said ‘I love you’”

“Hey idiot, I know what’s proposing”

“Then?”

“So, not waiting for Shantanu means…”

“I haven’t made any decision yet”

“Hey Divya is here”

“Hi Divi”

“Hi da, How are you?”

“Fine, How do you do?”

“well”

“Hey my team member proposed me today”

“Hmm.. I was listening to the conversation”

“Hmm.. I am in a dilemma”

“I have nothing to say other than that you give time for the decision”

“hmmm”

“If he really loves you, he will wait”

“ok”

“So give it sometime. Say that you need time to arrive at a decision.”

“Hmmm”

“Anu said that you are feeling for Shantanu”

“I was”

“Oh ok fine. Anyway so hope you never had any feelings for this guy before”

“Hmmm.. no. I never had any feelings for him.”

“Well. So anyway it will take sometime for the change. Don’t hurry up”

“Ok” , That’s Divya. She started with ‘nothing’ and has said everything. She continued to advise me.

With Divya’s words in mind and the images of Gokul and Shantanu flashing before me, I fell asleep.

'Never Mind Love' (XLVIII)

2009-05-15T00:53:00.000+05:30

I caught the same autorickshaw by coincidence and said, “Brigade Road, McDonalds”. He did give me a weird look. I cursed myself for choosing the same auto.

The climate was better in the evening. I satisfied myself that I will not be sweating as heavily in McDonalds as in Nandhini Palace, even if Shantanu proposed me, in spite of both being air conditioned restaurants. I laughed to myself with that thought.

Nevertheless with growing seconds, I did sweat. It never mattered whether or not Gokul, the senior engineer loved me, but it did matter, when it came to Shantanu. I have heard, that girls look for status, power, money etc; I even read a survey by an American university confirming this.

I never saw anything of monetary importance, nor did I feel any kind of power driven attraction towards Shantanu. It’s certain, that Shantanu will have a financially sound future, and will be in a good social stature, but I never knew all this when I first started feeling for him.

A sudden brake of the auto made me look outside into the real world. The auto just missed a foolish brat, who ran to cross the road. The lush green environment of Bangalore, the green city was pleasing. The hot and dusty atmosphere of Chennai stood differentiating in my visual perception for a moment.

He stopped at the end of the road, “Ma’am it’s too crowded, and there is a one way and, I have to go around a long distance..”

“How much?” I cut him short. Practically I wanted to run getting down from the auto, that crawls in Bangalore's evening traffic, with red signals for every few meters.

The street was filled with young people dressed colorfully. Two wheeler and four feeler parking cramped the road, and have made the two lane road a footpath. A biker blocked my way, as he was struggling to park his bike. I grew impatient, and I crushed myself in a gap.

I walked past girls, who alleviated the obviousness of my over done make up. There were guys to stare at these girls. More like being in Spencers or Citi Centre of Chennai, where there is a lot of scope for window shopping and ogling.

Crowd was leaving from the theater in that road, after the matinee. The movie's still with Ais and Hrithick of Jodha Akbar, made my heart more vulnerable. I stared at Hrithick for a second, and Shantanu’s face flashed before me. He is not that handsome either, 'then why am I getting mad?'

With all these thoughts, the few foot walk, for less than 5 minutes, appeared like a decade long journey to the end of the world. I was standing before Mcdonalds by 4.55PM. No trace of Shantanu at the ground floor. The dinning hall is in the first floor.

I grew sentimental. Gokul proposed me in the first floor, an optimistic feeling grew in me. It’s stupid and silly, never mind, it made me feel better. With a desperate anxious search, I climbed the stairs to the dinning hall of McDonalds in the first floor.

Eyes searched in every direction; there was no Shantanu anywhere. Mind made an image processing of any possible matching feature of him in everyone, whose face is not directly visible. No trace yet.

Shantanu entered the hall, his glance on his watch, following the glance on mine, with a sarcastic triumphant smile. I hit myself, 'oh his usual business punctuality'. Make the desperate prey wait for sometime, and then make an appearance at the right time. Wondered where was his lurking place, where he had been hiding all this time, waiting for his prey to hit the trap.

With a smile he showed me to a table. Not reserved as in Nandhini Palace, and definitely not a bouquet of roses, brought by a server, as in Nandhini Palace. The place is not classic, but casual. There is something very important. I didn’t mind class or casual, nor did I wish for Romantic, charming or anything at all. All I wished for was, he should say it soon, someway, some means.

“You look different”

“Different”

“Ya but it’s kinda”, the last word, is that Quaint? Or Cute? Never mind.

I waited impatiently. “How is the interns?”

‘Fuck the interns' I told myself. “ya it’s fine”

“Looks like Bangalore has brought in a lot of changes in you”

“Oh well, there are some dressing regulations here in the company”

“Oh so the blame is on the company”

“Why? you don’t approve of these changes?”

“Not at all, you look great now”, I have heard of masculine lies when in love. Is this one of them? Again never mind.

The usual crimson in my cheeks. “So shall we have something”

“ya ya sure”, I am definitely not in the mood of eating, nor my stomach had any vacancy.

“Burger, you?”

“Just a coke float”, that’s how cola frost was called there.

We settled down on the metal chairs placing the items on the black stoned mosaic table. There was no table cloth. The stone was cold, or I felt so, very numb and cold.

I tried something, "So, what brings you to Bangalore?"

"Ha, I was about to tell you. Today there was a seminar on short term investing"

"Oh wow, so you do have time for all this in spite of elections"

"Hey elections are for life, and life is not for elections"

"Nice line, wish your followers hear it"

"Certainly they have. I often do tell them this. To keep their life's priorities above elections"

"Good. So you are not like these cinema politicians"

"Oh stop it. I am getting bored of your politics skepticism"

'OOps I annoyed him. How stupid to bring in elections in such a mood'

I managed,"So was the seminar informative"
"ya it was. Pretty good. Worth the 200 bucks, and one day of my time", smiling.

"Especially the lecture about SIP was damn good", SIP? Never mind.

Not only my intestines blocked anything from my food pipe, but my very throat terminated to pass anything through.

I searched for any cue, anything at all. Something that would show any positive sign of a proposals. I compared the scenario with all possible proposal scenes in movies. I couldn't find any match. His facial expressions were so normal and cool. 'Is that a scam?'

I wanted to ask him. But I couldn’t. He had his bag with him. Just when I wondered, 'What might be there in it?' 'Anything for me?' he opened his bag.

A parcel covered with red gift paper. "A gift to you from my first earnings."

Proposal(s)? (XLVII)

2009-05-13T01:00:00.000+05:30

One month of stay at Bangalore, and the more cordial corporate culture, that almost broke the sanctified boy-girl thing. I stopped seeing masculine approaches as romantic. These days I looked everyone as just peers, and not as a guy or a gal.

With this mentality, and with ‘Shantanu is a friend' in mind, I didn’t care for surprises or a proposal from him. So I causally agreed to meet him at McDonalds.

Before I completed my first glance, around the first floor dinning hall of Nandhini Palace, the young smart senior software engineer from my team came to me. “Hi”

“Hi, sorry for keeping you wait”

“Not a problem at all, I love waiting for you”, what kind of a reply is that? I wondered.

“Hope you like this place”

“Of course it’s romantic”, I don’t know why I chose the word. The word brought an eerie smile on him.

He is 24 and one of the key persons in our team. He sounded geeky, yet he was not that boring either. He is young and talented. He was courteous and polite.

The place was really romantic with its mild lit ambiance. The artistic wood furniture, and the wood ornamented walls added to the sumptuous look. Our table is one in a corner with sufficient privacy. I hate it when people stare at me, when I have food so, this place is the best choice for me in that hall. I wanted to appreciate him for that choice.

The table covered with sandal colored table cloth with tissue papers, fork, spoons etc. I made myself comfortable in my seat. The silence and the ambiance was a little disturbed by the loud laughing cheers of a gang of college chaps a few tables away from us.

“Well, here is the menu”

“Oh, Hmm.. I am not so good with restaurants, why not suggest me some good dishes”

He pointed out a few exotic items in the list, and I choose those that are at least vaguely familiar, not willing to risk on choosing something that I would detest.

We spoke on various topics, right from my college to his college, and also he politely answered all my curious questions about his experiences in the company. It was rather a feast. I enjoyed my lunch at the same time tried to avoid looking like a foodie.

It was life’s longest lunch with a single person, and it lasted for more than an hour. Time is now 3.30, and the last course, ice creams. Man I go crazy with ice creams, and had a tuff time to keep me look like a professional but, all in vein, “It’s cute when you have it like a kid”

I heard myself say, “Shit”. He noticing the annoyed expression in my face, “Hey no offense, I really meant it”

I blushed, wondering whether I should say ‘thank you’.

At last the lunch came to an end. I was overfed. Clearly I can’t walk for at least 15mins. All my blood was directed to my intestines making me feel drowsy; practically I feared I would faint.

Finally he signaled the maitre’d, and he in turn said something to a server. I wondered, why we were still sitting. I dared not ask as I was not in a position to get up. We continued chatting.

The server with whom the maitre’d was speaking brought a closed bowl to our table. Scared I was, for there was no more space for a drop of water in my intestines.

He placed the bowl on our table, and gently opened the lid. There were a bunch of red roses, neatly tied into a bouquet. The scene was more frightening, than the thought, that it is some other dish.

He gently carried the roses, and the server carried away the bowl. Looking straight into my horrified eyes, he coolly said, “I love you”. The whole world came crashing down around me. There is nothing to feel scared, my rational mind knew, but for no reason I was frightened.

The perspiration grew, a sweat bead at he edge of my eyebrows. He continued talking something, I could see him say things, but I heard nothing. It was like watching a TV program on a monologue, with the volume in mute.

He gave a break, guess it's for me to digest his words, which I couldn’t do, for two reasons, there was already too much for digesting in my intestines, and I never heard anything after the 3 magical words, so there is nothing for me to digest.

I collected myself in this gap, he finished, “Take your time, you don’t have to give me a reply immediately. I will be the happiest person on earth, if you are with me..”

Caught in a spell, I didn’t utter a word. He came till the auto, and realizing I have temporarily become dumb, he gave the guest house area to the auto driver himself.

Those 3 words kept ringing around. I heard no sound of the traffic or the horns. Just then I looked at my mobile, Shantanu’s reminder message, “Will be waiting for you, be there by 5”

The auto reached our area, and the driver, “Where to go ma’am”

“4th cross”

“Stop here”

I paid him and left, perfectly perplexed. I wouldn’t have assumed the following meet with Shantanu as anything near a date or a proposal. Provided the circumstances no wonder, I doubted a proposal from Shantanu.

With all these thoughts in mind, I refreshed myself for the second rendezvous that day.

Out for Lunch (XLVI)

2009-05-10T08:52:00.001+05:30

I decorated myself with the sparkling dress I have bought in Bangalore last weekend. More than enough make up is the first thing obvious in the dressing table mirror. I wiped off too much lipstick using tissue paper.

This company wants its employees to look like a fashion model or something, strict dressing especially make up regulations. I had to carry a mini make up kit in my hand bag and have to look fresh always.

I wondered what on earth all this is for. Anyway I learned a lot of make up tricks and methods here in this internship along with computers.

I rearranged the entire set of make up articles into the drawers of the dressing table. Packed my hand bag with touch up mirror, wet tissue and half a dozen other make up stuff, checked and rechecked myself in the mirror.

The romantic rhythm of the song ‘Tu hi mera pyaar Mahiya’ is till playing in my laptop. Muttering its lines I Turned off my laptop, walked to the door, no big confusion, I had only 3 pairs of sandals here in Bangalore, and obviously the pink one suits this dress and I wore it.

As in the movie ‘Just my Luck’ as soon as I stepped onto the footpath, 3 autorickshaws lined before me. I smiled to myself and stepped into the first one, “Indira Nagar”

Ruminating the phone conversation, ‘..lunch, will you?’ , ‘No compulsion, if only you wish’ I watched the Sunday traffic.

In a signal a hot couple was making the summer heat hotter with their romantic charms. As soon as the signal cleared that guy flew like air in his Hero Honda Unicorn with his girl friend clutching on to him scared or of love, bringing an enigmatic smile on me.

Very well I could have had such a ride now if only I said yes for him to pick me up in his bike, but he is neither my boy friend nor I dared a bike ride with a guy. Mobile rang disturbing these thoughts, “Hey, where are you?”

“On the way, in auto. You already there!”

“Ya I am waiting here”

“Oh sorry”

“No probs, just that I wanted to confirm whether you are coming, you sounded reluctant”

“I told you, I will come”

“Not like that, ya but anyway k fine come soon”

“As fast as this auto could go and its driver could drive it”

“ok ok fine, hope you remember the place”

“Ya I do cya in Nandhini Palace”

I hung up and wondered what it might be. Why does he sound anxious? I heard from lady seniors whom I made friends in the past month about what exactly is a lunch with a guy.

‘It’s nothing like romantic or love or stuff like that. It’s just kinda friendly meet where you get to know each other personally well’

I wondered why someone would need to have lunch together to know each other personally. What more one will learn in an hour or two that he hasn’t learned in all these days?

Conversation with Anu ruminated in me, “hey Shantanu is in Bangalore”

“What why?”

“I am not sure, but one thing is sure he is in Bangalore”

“How do you know?”

“We had the last phase election campaign meet today. He was missing and I asked 4th years about it and they said that he is off to Bangalore on something important”

“What! you are in elections?”

“Ya where else I could get to do at least some damage to Kiran”

“That rogue pulled you too into elections with the same strategy”

“Whom do you mean?”

“Who else the great Shantanu”

“Hey he didn’t pull me in I myself wantonly got in, I knew Kiran is in the opposite side”

“Oh how do you know about it, Shantanu would have told you, didn’t he?”

“Why are you so skeptical about Shantanu, none has to tell me it’s obvious that Kiran is the 2nd most important person in the opposite side”

“Well anyway just be a bit careful I never do encourage these elections”

“Ok I will be fine, by the way Shantanu called me a couple of days back”

“About?”

“He used to call me often on account of elections, but then he asked me about you”

“About me!”

“Ya he enquired whether you will be free this weekend. I said you don’t have office on Sundays”

“Oh well fine, I just now spoke to him, but he never told me that he is here”

“May be he plans for a surprise; anyway wait for his next call”

“Ok I will, take care of yourself”

“Take care, bye”

The Auto driver interrupting ruminations, “Ma’am Nandhini Palace” I walked into the restaurant. I don’t know where to look for him in the hotel, never been alone to such a place.

I took out my mobile phone from my hand bag and when I was about to press the call button, mobile flashed ‘Shantanu’

“temme”

“I am in Bangalore.

"I know, Anu told me"

"Oh fine, hmmm.. Can you come to McDonalds this evening?”

Shantanu's Call (XLV)

2009-05-09T12:40:00.000+05:30

This post is dedicated to ma followers Iron Monkey, Pulsars,Ravi Rahul and Rajitha.

I told myself, ‘Shantanu is just a friend’. May be, he is not just a friend, might be one of the best ones, like Anu or Divya. Lost in such thoughts, I was sitting in my room in the company’s guest house staring through the window. Mobile rang on the table, which I noticed only after a few seconds.

‘Shantanu’ the name flashed. The ring tone ‘heart will go on’ pleasantly echoed. I was looking at the mobile, like in a spell. I didn’t attend the call nor did I ignore it. With hesitation I slowly reached for the mobile.

The pleasant melancholic tone of Celine Dion’s voice ceased, and the room back to its usual grave silence. The two other girls are out to enjoy the scenic beauty of Bangalore.

My heart beats faster now. I am practically shivering with my mobile in hand. I repeated to myself, I am losing a good friend to my stupid hormonal attractions. I don’t want to lose him. Thoughts raced in my mind. My thumb in an impulse pressed the green button.

For every ring my lungs widened to intake more air to give more oxygen to my fainting body. Breathing hard I burst out, “hello Shantanu, sorry I were busy with something else, couldn’t attend your call”

“Hey cool, you sound disturbed, will talk later if you are busy”

“No no I am fine.. free, tell me”

“Just like that, we are missing you here, when are you coming back to college”

‘Missing’, ‘we’ who are those comprised in that ‘we’ or is it just a safer side of ‘I’.

“Heard that you are not allowed into office on Sundays so guessed you must be free”, his voice disturbed the racing thoughts. It’s time for me to speak a word. He is clearly cautious about the way I avoided him.

“Ya ya I am free now. Miss office on Sundays” I smiled.

“Computer wizard! Getting too workaholic huh?”

“If you call me a wizard what will you call these people”

“ok ok enough of your modesty. Hope you know we have our college elections in a week”

“Oh that’s why you called me, fine don’t worry anyway I will not be voting for your side” I chuckled.

“Then you are going to vote for Kiran’s best friend, he is one of the key campaigners in the opposite side”

“I will be there by this Friday at the earliest”

“Well the elections are due only next Wednesday, and I didn’t call you on account of elections, it’s just..”

“hey hey sorry I was just kidding, anyway I will try my best for your cause. See what you have for me”

“For you, I will be the cultural secretary this year, if we win, but for that I have killed myself in elections for more than a year”

“You! I didn’t ask you for any ‘post’. See what I can do for elections. What part I shall play in campaigning. I am not power thirsty and will never run behind posts”

“Sorry sorry, damn my language, anyway you have a good, big friend’s circle and you have earned a good reputation amongst juniors, you must make a difference even in the last minute, just send a mail to your juniors and friends who are close to you asking them on their stand”

“But as you said they have some honor for me, but if I get into elections won’t they feel bad about me?”

“What use is their honor if they couldn’t do something for you?”

“You have learned to speak well like a politician. You remind me of the heroes in the Jeffrey Archer’s novels”

“Hmm… fine then, Shantanu will be the Prime Minister of India someday”

“Ok k fine, so how is college?”

“ya it’s still standing”

“That’s a lame joke”

“Oh sorry I am not as witty as Elvi to crack cool jokes”

“Heard the elections are getting a little violent, keep your ass safe”

“Don’t worry about my ‘ass’ it’s perfectly guarded”

“Oh black cats, huh?”

“Kinda.. ya. I am not moving alone anywhere. People don’t let me alone”

“Oh the reputed key leader, well, very well, waiting to see you walk with a dozen guys walking behind you”, chuckles

“If only you are here, you will also be in a similar security circle”

“Ha I am no where near your election stuff, and I will never be wishing for such a following”

“Fine fine, you will be as far away from elections as possible, but only extending your support for us”

“Ok Mr. Prime Minister, Elvia is at your service”

“It’s the Cultural Secretary now”

“Whatever, See you in college, so when do you want me there?”

“ASAP, you said Friday”

“Friday!!! Well, I ll try”

“So sweet, waiting for you”

“Ok bubye”

An unknown illumination surrounded my environment, a feeling of freshness. I got rid of this love madness. I am very clear now. I am back to normal and Shantanu is my good friend. With these cheerful thoughts I called Anu. “hello”

“Hey Shantanu is in Bangalore…”

The Pet Intern (XLIV)

2009-05-07T14:59:00.002+05:30

Just after he completed the list I ran to him, “Hey it’s you right, Elvia. You have it in you, keep it up.”

“Thank you Sir, but seems like you have missed a name. Anusuya Srivatsava”

“hmmm… no dear, no such name”

“Sir but she would have performed well, please”

“Hey, your friend huh? See we have expert methods to select candidates with the right stuff. Anyway better luck next time for her”

I wanted to shout, ‘If you are not going to take her, I am leaving this interns’, but he is no more there to hear me.

Anu wished me luck and called her dad asking him to book her tickets for the return journey. I called mom with a dull tone, “Hello mom”

“You sound somber, what’s wrong, leave it you will have better options”

“Mom, hold it, I got selected”

“Then why are you dull? Are you ill? What about Anu?”

“I am fine, Anu didn’t make it”

“Oh that’s bad, So, where will you stay? Can Anu stay with you there?”

“The company has made arrangements for us to stay in their guest house and the duration of interns is 40 days. We will be paid a minimum of Rs.10,000 and it will increase based on our performance”

“Money is not an issue, you take care of yourself. By the way you have only 3 more weeks of holidays!”

“That’s not an issue. We can use this certificate to supplement our attendance”

“Ok then tell dad he will be happy”

I called dad and repeated all this, he is glad. I wanted Anu to stay. Dad did allow me to take care of her expenses and stay here.

As soon as I cut the call I burst out, “Anu, stay with me, I will take care of the expenses”

“Hey stop it, I am leaving. You will be fine here”

“Please Anu don’t go, stay here, may be we can find some interns for you in some other company”

“I am not interested. I came here only on your compulsion. Anyway even if I stay here I can’t ask for attendance without attending any interns here”

I couldn’t persuade her anymore. She left Bangalore that evening. I am all alone in the guest house. Bhagya, me and another girl have to share the place. Bhagya is my classmate yet, she is not such an intimate friend.

I tried to concentrate on the task ahead. I worked hard. I am constantly been appreciated by our team lead. For some reason I have become a pet to everyone. I stayed in the office as long as possible. I felt cheerful and intriguing being in the office.

At nights, I practically stayed in hell. I couldn’t sleep peacefully. I got beleaguered by my ambivalences.

I tried to avoid Shantanu in the excuse that my mobile is in roaming and I am busy in the office to use the internet. The more I moved away from him, the more hurting I felt.

I made a good number of friends at office. In college we used to call even our immediate seniors as ‘akka’ and ‘anna’, here we called even a decade elder people by their names. They treated me back as equals.

Shantanu called me a couple of times. I spoke in a disinterested manner. He got cues. Shantanu being so understanding didn’t bug me again, but I don’t know why he didn’t understand what I felt about him. May be that’s why he used the term ‘sister’.

This civil war inside me grew severe and severe every night. I concluded that I should start being a good friend and stop avoiding him. But I couldn’t make it practical.

College started. Anu called me, “Hey sweetheart how are you? College started for us?”

“… Hey you know something Shantanu enquired about you”

“Oh well”

“He is taking a lot of care about you”

“Stop it, it’s all just a sham. After all this, ya he is my bestowed brother”

“You still are mad. Whatever, hope you are not messing up things there”

“Hey I am doing great here. My team lead says that I may get more than Rs.20,000 for the interns, means that I am more than twice as better than the minimum expectation”

“Wow that’s great news. Anyway I told you, you will be fine without me”

“If only you are here, I would have done better”

“Hey enough, waiting to see you, it’s just another week”

“Ya, I am missing you”

“Precisely Shantanu”, chuckling.

“Non sense, I am hanging up bye”

43. Interns Info

2009-05-05T22:43:00.002+05:30

The next day we were taken back to college after the camp. The same loud menacing student’s travel cheer lasted throughout the journey back to college. Sir himself looked like he grew younger. But I am sitting near the window silent with melancholy.

Shantanu still limping of sprain due to last night’s duel didn’t miss all that fun. He even danced a little with that sprain. “Hey Elvi what’s wrong? Why are you so dull?”

“Nothing, just that I am going to miss all you people” I tried to smile. He for some reason didn’t bug me more. Only 2 souls in the bus know why, me and Anu.

As usual Mom and Dad have come to the hostel to pick me up. It went without saying that, Dad just looked and Anu is already there with her baggage.

Just another call, “Hello Sir, This is Elvia’s Mom”

“Oh ma’am I thought of calling you, why not this time Elvia come here for a change, I would feel happy”

“Oh fine, but now we are moving to our place. If you don’t mind I will send the girls in a couple of weeks”

“Hmm.. fine then, so you have already started with Anu”

“Sorry about that, we just thought..”, I saw mom blushing in the phone.

“No problem, fine then I will be in the lookout for them”

“Sure, thanks”

We are now moving to our place. Mom and dad sat in the front seats. I am sitting with the same somber expression, staring out through the window. I don’t know why I took so seriously, especially why as a failure of love.

Anu tried to cheer me up and failed to make conversation. Mom did notice, I managed with lame reasons.

I tried to cheer myself. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I gave out fake smiles, and yes that did work. I got over this madness in a while. Nevertheless his messages and many things around still kept reminding me of him.

After some 20 days Anu’s dad reminded Mom’s promise. Mom, “What Elvi are you going with Anu?”

I really don’t want to be alone. I want someone who knew the crack in my love pot to be around. Anu is such a nice friend to be with. So, I just agreed, “Ya I want to”

“Hope you remember there is no servant like me, to bring you water when you just shout and more than that you may have to help Anu’s dad in the kitchen”

“Mom, I am a grown up, and I will take care of myself”

Dad, “This will be a learning experience let her go”, his usual dialogue.

The next morning we boarded the train to take us to Anu’s place. Mom packed my luggage with a lot of ready made snacks and other stuff that would help me away from getting under nourished.

Right the first day I understood mom is right, very right. I have not grown up, I am not even a kid but an infant, compared to what a grown up has to know and do. I messed up a dish for dinner. Don’t assume I cooked, but I just botched up the dish already prepared.

Anu, “you were dreaming of Shantanu”

”Tramp, don’t make fun of me”

“Ok ok relax. I just said, sorry”

“hmmm.. me too”

“What?”

“Sorry”, she smiled and walked to the dinning table with another dish.

Mom’s backup items are really useful. It was not as bad as the hostel but we always have the canteen to supplement our needs. Somehow between all these things I almost forgot Shantanu.

More than a month of hols have past. Bhagya called me one day, “Hey how are you?”

“Fine da, how do ya do? Call, all of a sudden?”

“Not without a reason. I have something important”

“Will you please tell me that?”

“Ya ya cool, I heard about an internship in a Bangalore based MNC, a real good opportunity, if you are looking for something to add to your Microsoft dreams”

I had almost forgotten Microsoft for a couple of months now. Thank God that others haven’t. “Oh good, but what’s the selection criteria? How many weeks? “

“Hey hey hold on. I will mail you the specs, get back to me ASAP”

I had to be there in Bangalore by that weekend, but not without Anu. I feared Anu may not get selected. I killed myself training her. Not just because I want my friend to get this opportunity but loneliness will built a mastabh around me. I badly wanted Anu.

Monday morning, we are now waiting for the interview results.

"I am not staying here without you"

"Hey don't talk like a kid. This is one big thing that will take you to your dream"

The HR person announced the names. “Ramakrishnan, Vignesh, … Elvia… Bagya Lakshmi..”

42. Like a Sister

2009-05-03T21:26:00.001+05:30

We enthusiastically gave out ideas and opinions on various activities to be conducted during the camp. Shantanu was sitting very silent and I understood he felt uncomfortable, but he is a first timer.

Finally Lakshman, “Friends, we are all enthusiastic about the camp but the fund allocated is not sufficient for all our expenses. So I propose that we collect a sum of hundred rupees from everyone, what’s your stand”

Sir, “I personally am against this idea. We are not supposed to collect any money. We are here to serve with our hearts, and not with money. What do you people feel?”

There were hushed responses. I personally can very well afford more than that sum but it’s not a matter of affording, Sir seemed to have a point.

A clear voice emerged from the flusters, “Excuse me, I wish that we discuss the camp budget and see whether we can cut costs”

If not for our Sir, Shantanu would have definitely got a mocking response. Then Lakshman started describing the budget. “We are allocated a sum of Rs.12,500 for camp and we have saved Rs. 6700 from our regular funds”

“We have already spent Rs. 850 on transport from college to camp site, and Rs. 3000 on groceries.”

He continued to tell us about the expenses on our tree sapling plantation plans, other survival expenses and expenses on tools etc. Most of us felt a little bored of this.

After the budget and expense descriptions Shantanu, “Most of our expenses are on food for the 60 people in our unit, we are now buying groceries from retail stores. We should go for buying them in wholesale”

“But we are not buying huge amounts to go for wholesale”, Narayanan another 3rd year with disgust.

“Ya, I understand, this Thursday is an auspicious day, I saw 3 Marriage halls on the way to this village. They are less than a couple miles away. We can partner with them, and hence can save on both commodities cost and transport cost.”

Most of us are now in awe, we didn’t know how pragmatic he speaks, but how could he think of all this. “But is that possible”

“Why what’s so far fetched about this”

Lakshman, “Ok I see there is a possibility, you are not assigned any responsibility right, fine then you are the treasurer, and have to take care of the expenses of the camp”

Sir, “Good idea, go speak with the authorities tomorrow, and see how possible things are, and if we fail we may then go for this money collecting idea”

Shantanu now enthusiastically, “Sir, not just that, for the plant saplings one of our junior’s uncle owns a nursery, and if it is for some social cause he may give the required saplings for free”

Narayan, “Whatever, you just take care of these things and report to us”

I spoke to Shantanu over dinner, “Man tell me seriously, from where do you get all those weird ideas”

“Weird!!! I just had nothing else to think other than money, unlike you, who kill yourself with algorithms”

Why should he have to bring in algo for everything, anyway I felt happy about he being good enough for such an important responsibility. He looked cheerful. After dinner we walked back to the school where we stayed.

We had a lot of time together, and I had my laptop and in the evenings Shantanu used my laptop for accounts. I wrote a simple Visual Basic code to help him with his accounts. He laughed at the program, stating that MS Excel would be more helpful. Later I found out he has been using the software without telling me.

Me being in the teaching team and he accounts, we didn’t have too much of work. During days he stayed with us in the teaching room helping us, and bossing around our team juniors. In the evenings we had that classroom all for us, we had a lot of peaceful pleasant time together. I felt an invisible bond develop between us, which is much stronger than the attraction before.

That night I confessed. I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. I really wanted to shout it aloud, “I am in love” but I felt shy to do anything like that, so I just told Anu, “I think I have fallen in love with Shantanu”, she simply smiled back.

Anu proposed a computer awareness camp for a day in a nearby village’s school. Shantanu and Anu visited the school, and arranged for that one day camp. Initially the school authorities were a bit reluctant, later their hesitations disappeared before Shantanu’s business charms.

They are now perfectly convinced that this is a blessing for their students to be taught computers by computer engineering students from such a reputed institute, and thanked them profoundly for the idea.

Initially it was decided that Anu and Shantanu will go for the camp, with me taking care of regular teaching team responsibilities. Anu being an understanding friend, she let me go instead of her, but it’s her idea and I didn’t want to take it from her.

At last we left the local teaching responsibilities to our juniors, and all three of us left to the school with 4 other juniors with us. Students and the authorities gave us a cheerful warm welcome.

We used 3 laptops to teach them basics on using a computer. I had the laptop on the table and explained the curious brats who felt so exotic about a laptop. It was a cool uncomfortable feeling to be looked at as someone dropped down from the sky.

It was a tuff day, yet we felt as energetic as we started till the last of those brats. Filled with complacence and their thankfulness we blissfully walked back to our camp site.

On the way we left Anu and the juniors a few paces before us and we got lost in our own world of small talks. Three guys standing on the road side started following us.

Their susurrations grew louder. They started talking obscene terms pointed on me, a typical eve teasing. I avoided them not willing to spoil the romantic environment of walking after dusk on a lonely road. Shantanu looked very disturbed.

At a point he lost patience and turned back at them, “Bastards get lost from here or you will hate the consequences”

“Hey hero what will you do to us, hit us? Come on come on man go ahead”

He gave a sharp punch to one of them, they hit him back and that’s a street fight, within seconds the 3 overpowered him. I joined the duel and gave a knee kick to one and tried to pull Shantanu out, he is well hurt now.

With my entry Shantanu recollected himself and the duo of us with one a novice Kung fu and me a Karate Dan 2 defeated the three, leaving them moaning on the ground.

Shantanu was bleeding with a hit from someone wearing a ring. He limped till our campsite and I helped him with first aid kit.

“Hey idiot they are some goofs, who are utterly jobless. Why do you go in duel with them?”

“I love you..” for a moment all my blood cells turned dead cells, sweat beads turned frosts. The world around me disappeared and I misty blissful cloud surrounded me.

“I love you like my sister, I value you and I can’t tolerate all that nonsense”
I didn’t hear anything after that word, the terrifying word which is often something terrorizing for guys ‘sister’ but it almost killed me now. I felt numb and dead.
Avoiding his eyes, I hurriedly dressed his blood wound and left the place to avoid he reading the frustration on my face.

41. Camp as Seniors

2009-05-03T20:39:00.001+05:30

In the middle of the semesters we were pulled in for our elections. We wouldn’t be having much time after the exams are over, as people will leave hostels and meeting and canvassing them will be difficult. Once the college starts there will be very little time before the election.

Last year when we were in our first years, we were not influenced by the elections due to strict ragging restrictions that avoid senior junior interaction. But this year we are in 2nd years and 3rd year girls got busy canvassing us and in boys hostel things are worse, seniors fought in the middle of the night to talk to 2nd years.

I didn’t involve myself deep into all this stuff and advised Shantanu to stay away at least till the end of sem exams. Shantanu didn’t speak much about my academics, since the time I cried in the middle of the class about results. But he didn’t fail to say his tag line, “Do what you like and Do it with passion”.

I didn’t work hard, but I prepared with passion. Exams went well. Tomorrow we have TOC, the terrorizing paper handled by psyche Dr.Pal. Girls started shivering a couple days back. Many feared that their life’s first arrear would be on this paper. This fear epidemic did affect me.

Shantanu called me in the morning, asking whether I could help him with the paper. I did agree eventually. But many girls felt bad about it, as they wanted me to help them. So, we decided on something. We eight assembled in a classroom after breakfast.

I climbed up the dais, with the mannerism like a professor. Shantanu and six other girls are sitting in the first two benches but are active unlike regular classes. I imitated the mannerism of my favorite algo ma’am. I took a chalk piece and started picturing a problem on the green board.

I was teaching for a couple of hours, and I did cover problems that are expected and can account for around 35 marks in tomorrow’s exam. With great complacence, I stepped down the dais. I still explained a few more doubts on paper. After this crispy lecture session, the girls left, and I spent a few mins with him.

“Thanks a lot Elvi, I would have really been in a very bad position in tomorrow’s exam without you”

“Well, that’s alright, but what I taught you is less than what you need to pass, even if you manage to do this with pinpoint accuracy”

“Ya I get it, I have already prepared something, and will revise things, I will be fine”

“Let’s hope so, then how is your election stuff going”, I asked just for the sake of conversation. We are now walking down from the 1st floor to get down on the other side of the building opposite to our hostel for our usual walk.

He with a shudder started, “Hmm.. you are good at algos and data structures..”

“I feel interested about them that’s it, anyway so..”

“So… our department juniors value you…” he elongated the statement blushing.

“Hey cut it, no way, I am not in, and I rather do tell you to keep your ass out of that shit”

“Hey hey cool it, you don’t like it fine, well I just tried, but don’t tell me what to do”

“Hello I am your friend and ain’t I supposed to tell you what’s right and wrong”

“I know what it is, and I do know what I will get out of it”

“ok then go to hell” and I walked away.

This is one notable bitter incident that happened between us. I really cared about his academics, and I didn’t want him to waste his time in something so useless or even dangerous, but he affronted me. I tried to forget him and concentrate on tomorrow’s TOC.

Our bitterness continued for a week, and it started alleviating. This year we are going to NSS camp but as seniors. There are still 3rd years, still we are seniors. This is a new cool feeling to boss around.

The added rejoicing thing about this year’s camp is Shantanu will be coming with us. Bliss bubbles are boiling out of me. My best friends Anu and Sangi along with my would be lover are all now traveling to our camp site.

The bus journey as students is one of the top ten great times of student life. More than half of us are standing, whether or not we have sears. The noise we make made horn useless. The big ‘O’s to everyone and everything around is simply deafening.

Our bus just overtook another, all our hands are out through the windows showing thumbs down with a huge cry. For every vehicle we passed by there would be surge in our pitch. I felt momentarily deaf on a holler, when another vehicle overtook us.

After receiving enough curses from the travelers, and making enough damage to the reputation of our college along the way, we reached the camp site by dusk. Me and Anu are team leaders of teaching team. Thankfully Kiran missed the camp due to election work.

Shantanu being a first timer in the camp, he was not assigned any responsibility and he can’t be treated as a first year either, so he just hung around the site. The next day evening we had a general camp meet with our Sir and other seniors over the camp schedule and plans.

Rajkumar Sir, “We should have had this meet well before we have come here, but as you people were busy with your exams I didn’t want to disturb you guys, anyway myself and your general secretary Lakshman met and have some plans, we want you to give your opinions and suggestions”

Our unit’s Programming officer i.e. the faculty incharge Mr.Rajkumar is a very amiable person. We all like him for his humbleness, and he treated us like equals and asked for our opinions on everything. We really felt responsible and passionate to make this camp very fruitful.

40. The Hallucinating First Touch

2009-05-01T11:15:00.001+05:30

I dedicate this post to my followers Rajasekar, Asish and Surajlal and also to my esteemed critics at Chennai rulezz esp. Siraj and Arun.

The Projects are all over now with the 4th sem exams due in a week. I did a really enjoyable work in projects esp. the one with Shantanu. There is still a working day left before they close the attendance.

The internals are expected to be displayed in the department notice board in a day. I am good enough in the assessments 1 and 2 there is not much of a need for the 3rd internals, yet I wanted to know how good a work we did in our projects.

The projects are supposed to reflect one’s true ability as a software engineer or that’s what seniors told me. I wanted to know how good I am for Microsoft, though these mini-projects are not even worthy enough a mention in Microsoft interview.

The next day first hour was Internet Programming (IP). Ma’am has completed the syllabus and was just having a few words on how to prepare for the end sem etc etc.

Before she was about to leave, “I really wanted to mention this, most of you have done your projects well, yet I had a feeling that you have done it only for the sake of doing”

She continued, “But this project Simulated Chat Room was really good and is an outcome of a true passionate effort. I just wanted to say that you being engineering students from such a reputed institute should have that passion in you”, and she left.

I am blushing wide. Girls around me started teasing me. Shantanu was similarly besieged by guys around him. We checked our internals I was good in all other projects also. Over lunch Harini akka joined the teasing and I am now named Microsoft.

It was not because I am so good at my projects. In fact only in IP ours is the best project in other papers there are better projects than mine.

I am not sure whether it’s the ideal mixture of my background coding and Shantanu’s applet or the ages we spent together in the project. Anyway we could now proudly say we were not just mashing but we worked for the project together. I laughed to myself at this thought.

That evening we met as usual, we were cheerfully discussing about the projects and I told him about the lunch break baptism where I was christened as ‘Microsoft’.

At the mention of this Shantanu was almost rolling on the floor laughing. I laughed with him yet I was a bit irritated. I hate to get hurt at my ego. He later did apologize for that.

Now he also started calling me Microsoft. Elvia is now virtually replaced by Microsoft. I felt it a bit bothersome but the wings of dreams and the pride the term brought with it put me into blushing and bliss.

As we got up to leave Shantanu gave me a hand shake “We rocked”, a warm feeling of current passed through my veins. My palm got struck with his. The icy warmth spread from my right hand fingers through out my entire body and froze my toes.

The entire dimming dark environment at 7.00PM suddenly turned bright. The dull sound of the leaves galled by the breeze is now replaced with the cheery chirp of birds like dawn. I saw a halo behind Shantanu’s head. I don’t know whether he shared all this hormonal excitement.

I guess that’s the first time he touched me ever. I am in India yet it’s no sin for a girl to shake hands with a guy. As a matter of fact I have shaken hands with guys and other men yet this was different, more than that quaint.

I walked back to my hostel it was just a few steps away, but Shantanu didn’t fail to fulfill his chivalry. He walked with me till the edge of the threshold to avoid the eyes of our warden.

We bid adieu and I walked back to my room filled with the bliss and cheers of projects. The brilliance of the touch was more dominant than all that. I entered my room.

Divya and a couple other girls were also there with Anu and Sangi. I sat on my cot. Divya as always the Elvia’s predictor, “Hey what’s the aura around you?” smiling.

I kept blushing. “looks like Shantanu kissed you today”, Sangi teased.

“hey shut up, told you girls we are just friends”, crimson of my cheeks are now powerful enough to stop traffic both sides of a road.

“Come on girl why do you retell the same old tale”

“Ok yaar she will say that when she have to stop bugging her”, Anu smiling.

“All I want to say is be careful and don’t end up like Anu”, Preethi. She bit her tongue in the moment realizing the implication of those words on Anu.

The cheerful environment in the room suddenly turned grave. I expected Anu would cry, but she just fell silent. After a few seconds, “Ok girls lets move, it’s time for dinner”, Anu cheerfully.

I felt so numb. Life has given more than her share for her to bear. She has been overdosed with too much stuff that anything will not make her shed tears anymore. She is not acting. I really felt that she has grew stronger with the turn of events.

The mood in the mess was cheerful we now stopped regretting and cursing mess food and the authorities rather we started making fun of them all. We all had a nice time.

With a good long week before the semester exams we didn’t want to spoil the engineering tradition by starting preparations this soon. So decided on watching a movie that night.

After a heavy duel on the languages English, Hindi, Tamil and Telugu we zeroed in on a Tamil movie. Now it’s the dispute on the movie.

Somehow with Divya with her usual maturity acting like Kofi Annan solved things and finalized on a typical tamil movie which is a mixture of action, comedy and romance.

We cuddled ourselves on two cots, switched of the lights, placed the table and the laptop on it strategically such that all of us could have a clear view of the screen. Created a virtual theatre for ourselves and now silently started watching the movie.

Saranya being an ardent fan of the hero whistled like hell at the hero’s introduction. We asked her to control herself not wanting to bring the warden up at this hour and spoil all this.

The movie got over with Sangamitra crying at the death of hero’s mom and with loads of such emotions. Everybody left to their respective rooms.

I happily fell on my bed. After I closed my eyes, Shantanu flashed before me, with Preethi’s words echoing in my ears, “Don’t end up like Anu”

39. The Touted Top Girl

2009-04-30T12:56:00.001+05:30

Life is back to normal after such a stormy weekend. I have done really well in the 1st two assessment tests. Though it’s the best two out of three, I am in no mood or idea of compromising on the 3rd. I can’t afford to let down loved ones again.

For 4 papers our 3rd asses is replaced by mini-projects. Not all projects are interesting. We had to do them in teams if teams are of 3 obviously it would be myself, Anu and Sangi. But in 2’s though it’s a controversial option I still preferred it.

In internet programming myself and Shantanu are a team and we can now legally or logically can spend more time with the project as an excuse. His negligence on the fight plan caused bitterness in me but that can’t be a reason for me to hate him completely.

Whenever I asked him about the vengeance he either asked for more time or tried to keep me cool or used to change the context. I am not so convinced. Whenever this issue pops up I fume with bitterness and he is not dumb to be ignorant of that. Yet he still ignored it.

Shantanu was not as bad in programming. In fact he is better than me in application oriented programming. When I spend time in learning the theory behind the algorithms and implement them he casually coded applets and swings and made a lucrative work.

Our projects kept us busy throughout the last month of the 4th sem. Anu’s breakup is obvious and most of us know of that now though the solution she chose for it is known only to the 2 of us. Many pitied Anu, and Kiran’s image grew as a villain.

Meanwhile college election matters are also been part of Shantanu’s concern. He is into almost everything else in college except studies, me being the exact opposite.

One fine day we after a few mins of project discussion are walking around the campus as usual. He said, “I am feeling so embarrassed”

“oh why?”

“Yesterday I saw Ranjana akka on the way to her hostel, she was carrying her baggage and literally struggling to carry them.”

“Hmmm so..”

“I should have helped her but I was rather excited on seeing her and was speaking about the college symposium this year and my plans for the next year’s one..”

“And you forgot to help her out”

“Yes, what an idiot I am, I noticed it only when we almost reached your hostel and only then I offered help lamely”

“Ok man relax there is nothing worth worrying about it”

By this time we almost reached our hostel and I don’t want to fall in sight of our warden ma’am, as she doesn’t think it’s a good idea for a girl to hang around with a guy. He gave me my laptop which he was carrying for me all this time. His chivalry is one thing that I felt very sweet about him.

He still enthusiastically continued, “Hey you should have known her, she is such a personality, man she is one of the important reasons, one of the very few key people who keep all these stuff running, or the college will only get rotten in all those crappy books”

“Oh great, salute her service and keep looking whether she needs any help, bye” and I walked away. I am not very sure whether his unacceptable opinion on books or his zeal to woo another girl annoyed me, but I am clearly annoyed.

When I entered the hostel he was standing still in the place I left him. I am not out of that bad mood yet. I didn’t care and I walked into my room throwing my laptop on the bed.

Over lunch the next day I heard some girl in a nearby table talk about this girl Ranjana with the same enthusiasm like Shantanu. I got a bit curious and asked Sindhu, “hey who is this Ranjana”

Keeping the rice in her hand mid way in air, “hey she is a senior the top girl in the college’s symposium committee, considered one of the key persons in any such activity inside college. Ask Divya, Ranjana is her dept senior and she must know more about her”

“Ha enough, enough, I had more than enough info about her, fine so everyone is trying to woo her so that they could get a prestigious place in the committee next year”

“Oh why are you so skeptical about her, she must have been a nice person, I have talked to her once she is sweet, not everyone would want to be in the committee and why would they speak good about her in her absence to woo her”, man she is also doped by her.

This ruminated in me throughout the afternoon classes. I walked to Shantanu after the classes as usual. He definitely is angry he loves me and values me but never compromises on something he feels right and unworthy of compromise.

He avoided my eyes. I said, “Hey I am sorry”, he didn’t look convinced.

I added, “it’s the way you addressed books was what annoyed me”, I tried to make up an excuse to that unruly behavior, “anyway…hmmm k man cool, enough I said sorry”

He nodded silently yet the usual smile is missing, “Ok, see you by 5 in this room, hope we will finish the project in a couple of days, cya”, and he walked away.

Things must be ok, my mind told me, yet his inimical face kept coming back for every wink. I took a short nap and started getting ready by 4.30 to meet him by 5.

38. The Far Fetched Fight Plan

2009-04-29T18:19:00.001+05:30

This post is dedicated to my followers Vidya,Vicky,Aravind and Lakshminarasimhan

Brain started working faster than a Quantum Processor. I tried all possible combinations, but I rejected every possibility feeling it as far fetched.

Now, it’s more than a second after the question. It’s high time that I reply something to avoid making her more dubious. I just terminated the thought process at a random choice.

The choice was, “Ma’am that’s kinda funny, I bet Anu that I will be able to go the mess and back to room within 5minutes”

“What?!? You girls are really getting bored at hostel without exams rite… Hmmm.. ok what where you clutching in your hands”

‘Shit!!! She noticed that too’, I could here myself say, ‘Say something Elvi say something’ and I came up, “It’s just a proof that I really reached mess, so I had to bring some salt”

“You better stop making this hostel a lunatic asylum”

“Sorry ma’am”, I blushed. She smiled back and left. I am not sure whether she believed the story yet, I am filled with a great feeling of relief.

All this time I had no time to think about that bastard. The suicide attempt and the subsequent cover up kept me busy for a while. Now, he flashed before me, the first sight of him drooling at me.

I wanted to kill him myself. I felt so powerless. For a second it even felt like can Gramp do it for me? ‘Shit! What happened to me?’, ‘I should balance myself and start thinking rationally’.

I couldn’t come up with anything good to avenge him. So I decided to tell this to someone and ask for help. I told this to Shantanu carefully avoiding the suicide incident.

“Hmm.. so you want your pound of flesh”

“Not just flesh I want his life”

“ok ok cool, stop talking like Poolan Devi”

“I am serious and you are making fun of me”, I feared whether I would tell him about the suicide attempt out of temper.

“Hey ok relax but I expected you are a pragmatic person, but now you are not making any sense”

“What do you mean? So you say that we have to just walk away after all he had done to her”

“Ok I will think of something and tell you”

“I at least want to hit him hard as hard as I could, only then I will feel at least a little comfortable”

“ok then lets do it”

“What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I said, hope you know I am learning Kung fu”

“Ya I do so? You are gonna beat him”

“Hmm.. not exactly but we, I have started learning only recently, but you are a Dan 2 in Karate”

“Are you kidding you mean we are going to whomp Kiran, but how?”

“Listen, Sifu was speaking of Ninja fight recently in one of our classes”

I am now listening like a kid listening to a fairy tale from her granny, he continued “So we plan a neat sketch to get him cornered alone. We make a guerilla attack in the dark”

“All this sounds good, pretty fine and exciting but, won’t he suspect us”

“Never mind he is into college politics and elections. Hence he has made himself a pretty good a target for such an attack.”

“Wow so I am gonna break at least a bone”

“You scare me with your rage”

”Don’t worry I will not hurt you as long as you don’t do that to me”, this line later rang in me, I had myself assumed him to be my boy friend without any solid reason.

He flirted back for the first time, “I would rather die in your hands”

I blushed forgetting that we are in an assaulting mood, he added, “By scared I meant that if you make any serious injury to him we will be in big trouble they may even start a police investigation”

“You don’t worry I have connections”

Laughing aloud, “You are too proud, then it’s upto you”

“Ok hey I believe all this assault plan is no joke, don’t expect me to calm down easily, I am vengeful than a snake, I will definitely have my revenge”

“Sure sure, I will meet you with a solid plan next time”

37. 'I don't want to live anymore'

2009-04-28T14:57:00.001+05:30

I dedicate this post to my 2nd and 3rd followers Pearl Frnd and Sadana.

Anu is fine now. She is a bit tired of vomiting yet she looked fine otherwise.

My toe is bleeding. I don’ remember where I got hurt. Only after the red color I felt the pain. The room is in grave silence. Anu sat like a dead doll leaning on the wall near the cot. Anger is fuming from every inch of my skin along with the sweat.

I am raging and turning red. After a momentary trough now my pulse rate rouse to a new crest out of anger. I got up and gave her a sharp slap. She collapsed on her bed sobbing.

Her tears suddenly melted my heart. For a second the garboil she put all the insides of me made me mad and forgot the pain she must have undergone. I sat near her.

I put my hands on her scalp and said, "I am sorry". She cuddled with her cheek on my lap. She silently continued sobbing. I continued to gently move my palms on her scalp comforting her.

I gave gentle taps on her back reassuringly. I didn’t ask her anything and she really was not in a position to tell me. Her sobs grew to a louder cry. I felt more uncomfortable I don’t want someone passing by our room to peep in or feel dubious after that suspicious sprint I took to save her all myself.

I tried to tell her to be silent but I couldn’t. I hugged her and tried to tell her to control herself. She tried to speak back but her weep overtook her words. She couldn’t speak.

The dull, dim atmosphere in the room is now disturbed by her cry. Her barf still lay at the centre of the room undisturbed. I tried in vain to comfort her. She finally collected herself a little and words came out as a broken stream.

“I loved… I.. why it all., happens to me..I don’t want to live.”

I silently tried to comfort her. Let her speak I listened, still holding her in my arms. She continued, “I lost my mom and then granny, I never felt being loved, I.. trusted him, I knew you don’t like him, but I was mad, I am fool” with this she cried more. This is more stressing, me helplessly failing to soothe her.

She repeated “I knew you don’t like him” she took a breath, “but you never told me to stop” this hurt me like being stabbed with a dagger right into my cardiac muscles.

After more than an hour of all this, she dried up of any more humidity in her eyes. She felt too weak with all the vomiting and weeping more than that the internal turmoil.

I finally ventured to ask her, “What happened? What did Kiran say?”

If only she had a bit more moisture in her tear glands she would have wept more, she replied gasping for breath and sucking the humidity in the air into her dried up throat, “We were sitting for lunch, Kiran left the table to enquire something to the receptionist. I just was playing with his mobile. He got a message ‘honey wru?’”

I tried to say something, but she continued, “I was a little annoyed that someone else called him like that, I ignored the message at first then I peeked into his ‘sent messages’ and he had sent a lot of messages to her, and the last one was, ‘hey I am going on a date with that chump don’t message me till afternoon’ was there I froze for a second.”

“I looked again into his inbox there was message from her ‘oh you still are fooling around with that poor girl?’ Kiran came from there looking at his mobile in my hands he hurriedly came near and grabbed the mobile from me.”

“I asked him who the girl is? He causally replied ‘Which girl?’, 'the girl who has messaged you', he remained silent. I lost my patience and yelled at him what’s going on he coolly said, 'she is just another friend to me like you’”

“'friend', 'like me' those words rang around me, after all that happened that bastard called me just a friend, and he said that he had another girl like me, I cried out, ‘Am I just a friend?’, ‘hey idiot stop yelling, ya friend ok, girl friend, what’s your problem?’ ‘You promised to marry me?’”

“he cursed me with obscene words, he insulted me in the middle of the restaurant and he said he had been paying me for all this time and said that’s why I had been hanging around with him, he had been treating me like a cheap prostitute for all this time, I really don’t want to live after all this…nobody wants me, nobody..”

“Hey idiot you should kill him for this rather than killing yourself, what did you think I would feel after losing you, have you ever thought of me a second”

“I am sorry Elvia, I know you are more than a mother for me, I know but I am fool, I am scum and I better don’t bother anyone anymore, that’s why I thought of killing myself”

I would have given her another slap but I understood, who knows her better than me, poor Anu lost her mother on her birth, her granny cursed her for killing her mother, her other grandma who is the only one who really loved her, passed away a few years back.

She always felt unwanted and unloved for all these years. The fateful life drove her into academics to keep her away from all the dreadful things around her. Only after kiran came in she felt happy. His episode was the only happy period in her life.

This time the loss of someone whom she felt would put an end to all her miseries and ignorance, almost killed her. She had been dreaming of a beautiful life with him. But now.

I always felt happy and satisfied at Anu being cheerful. That’s the reason why I never forbid her from meeting Kiran. At a point in time I started believing Kiran myself against my instincts about him. If only I had anticipated all this. This kiss of death would have never happened.

Thoughts reeled back to the tablets. After more than an hour she is perfectly well. I am convinced that there is nothing much to worry about those tablets anymore.

Now my mind started rummaging for answers to a set of killing questions, ‘whether anyone saw me running mad?’, ‘If so will they ask me why I did so?’, ‘What will I answer them?’, With all these thoughts I cleaned up the mess of the vomiting. Anu tried to help me I signed her to take rest.

That night as usual girls came to my room for the Saturday night show. None questioned anything about the sprint. I felt relieved. I never left Anu alone and tried to keep her cheerful. I didn’t want anyone to suspect anything.

Till next day night none asked anything about it. We almost forgot that incident. Just then our warden mam asked me during dinner, “Why were you running like being chased by a ghost?” My heart turned ice..

36. Felo-de-se

2009-04-26T21:00:00.001+05:30

It was a Saturday afternoon. After the 2nd assessment exams half the hostel is empty with girls off to their folks or their kins in the city. I preferred the hostel.

Sangi is also out to her uncle’s place. Anu is out on a date with Kiran. I am all alone in my room. As decided I had cleaned my room since morning and I am too tired now and I feel like fainting after lunch.

This morning the room looked like a shaken up box with clothes and books helter skelter and stationeries scattered on the table. I felt the room as even stingy. My bed was covered with clothes and I was sleeping among those dirty clothes for the past week

We have come to the 4th sem so we referred books and we didn’t have room for all those books in our room. Books are here and there most of them are under the cot on the floor. Grand ma would say books are Lord Saraswati and now I am subject to heavy blasphemy.

Somehow I managed to bring back the botched up room to sanity. I just now had lunch so waited for a few mins before I fall on my bed. Just then Anu entered the room.

Without looking up at her, I started, “So how was the day? Hope kiran gave you a strong kiss” and smiled to myself, there was no response. I continued, “Look how is the room now” with a prideful smile still looking at my laptop and again no response.

I looked up. She was silent. Her face bore an expression that I have never seen before. She was looking angry more than that melancholy was too obvious. My rational mind said that she must have as usual got into some silly duel with Kiran, but instinct interjected that something is wrong, that too very wrong.

I listened to my rational mind and I lied on my bed. With all those weariness I would have very well fell asleep in less than seconds, but Anu’s face kept flashing again and again. I lay still trying hard to ignore it and sleep but it kept bothering me.

After sometime I felt mild disturbances in the room, I still lay facing the wall. Anu is now awake. I wondered what she must be doing? But I hesitated to turn back felt so lazy. After a few seconds I slowly turned back and I saw her…

I saw her swallowing something heavily. I didn’t realize it a second. I swiftly got up and saw a pile of tablets before her. She was attempting to swallow a handful must be for the 2nd or 3rd time. I pulled her off and the water bottle fell with a thud. I gave her a sharp slap, she fell on her bed.

“hey idiot what have you done? Why?”, she fell on the bed with tears overflowing from her eyes. I am in the worst stress in my life. I don’t know what to do? or Whom to call?

‘Mom’ never, she would panic more than me and more than that she will never allow me to be with Anu again. ‘Dad’ dismissed for the same reason.

‘Shantanu’ or ‘Divya’ I don’t want anyone in college to know however trustworthy they might be.

Finally I zeroed on to Gramps. I fumbled my mobile for his number and I called him. With words flowing out of order, I abruptly started, “Grandpa my friend, tablets, she, took, tablets, I… I don’t know what to do?”

“What’s wrong dear calm down and tell me” with his ever lasting cool.

I collected myself and replied, “My friend took tablets many tablets she attempted suicide”

“Don’t panic I will ask my men there to attend to you immediately, stay calm”, again without loosing his cool.

Grandma picked up, “What’s wrong honey you have called us, won’t dad feel bad?”, smiling.

I repeated the tale to grandma. Thankfully she shared my tautness. She after a moment of silence, “Hey do you have salt?”

“No, Why would I?” with a second of thought, “may be I can get it from the mess kitchen”

“Ok then get it soon, make a salt solution and make her drink, it will make her vomit the tablets..” before she could finish I put the phone down, ya literally down on the floor and made a sprint to the mess.

My foot hurt, I forgot my sandals. I ran like crazy. I had no time to wonder what will people think about me. Thankfully it was a dull afternoon and there are not too many people around. In seconds my windpipe was set in fire.

I reached the mess and I ran to the kitchen and abruptly asked for salt, “My friend… I need salt, salt please soon”, gasping for breath words struggled to come out.

The mess worker replied, “What do you want ma’am?”

My stress broke out, “Didn’t you here me? I need salt”

She stood clueless and confused, I shouted, “Salt” again with my voice echoing across the dining room and the stainless steel utensils in the kitchen.

She silently showed me salt, I grasping salt in both my hands ran back wondering whether she took some more tablets, ‘Shit I forgot to dispose them’. This thought made me speed up. I am running hard with salt clutched in both my hands.

I dashed through my room doors. Heavens she is still on the bed and the tablets on the table left untouched. I had no time for hygiene. I put the salt in the bathroom mug I use for bathing.

Poured water into it and with bare hands started mixing them. My eyes are completely wet now out of stress. The second time I am weeping badly. My hands are shivering, entire body felt so numb and cold. I don’t want to let her down. Anu is more than a sister to me.

After enough mixing I jumped on her and tried to make her drink the solution. She protested. I whomped her badly and she now became motionless. I caught her nostrils hard and poured the solution directly into the foodpipe. She drank half the mug, spilling a little.

The next minute she vomited at the centre of the room. My phone was ringing till the time I entered the room. Only now I was able to hear it. I picked it up and yelled, “She vomited, where are the men?”

Grandma, “Hey Elvia it’s me, now listen has she vomited well? Make her drink more salt solution or at least plain water”

“Ok when will the men come?”

“Hey listen Grandpa has already called for them and they must be there any moment, now calm down and listen” I signed Anu to drink more water. She obeyed me like a child beaten up well by her mom. Grandma continued, “If this leaks out she is as good as dead, grandpa’s men are trustworthy yet.. she will be fine now.”

But Anu's life is more important than anything else, Grandma's words started ruminating in me. I..