Divya's Advice (XLIX)

He gave the pack to me beaming. I couldn’t control my temptation to tear it open, with palms catching each other to control their shivering.

“Shall I open it now?”

“Sure”, I expected him to keep the suspense till I go home, as he might fear to open it up looking into my eyes. Should I feel happy or..? Whatever, let me open it.

Trying to hide my anxiety I slowly pealed off the gift wrapper. “I made good profits after you had asked me to stop speculation. I liquidated some cash. This is from those profits”, cheerfully.

It was a 2GB HP pendrive. WTF. My computer brain worked. May be the love letter is in the pendrive, softcopy. Just then I noticed that the pack is completely sealed.

Dullness clouded my face uncontrollably. Almost all hope is lost. He finished the burger. I couldn’t face him. I wanted to run away. I gulped the coke float, felt a little better.

“Ok yaar, it’s time for me to leave. I must be there by tonight. Waiting to see you in college”

“Hmm.. ok lets move”

We walked down stairs. He should have noticed my disappointment, but he didn’t react. On reaching the foot path, “How will you go back?”

“Auto”

“Hmmm.. fine. Take care.”

I walked to the nearest autorickshaw. I looked back with a final piece of hope, he still was looking at me. I continued walking, I got in the auto, and turned back again, he is gone.

My head ached heavily. Too much anxiety and expectation, all for a silly pendrive. Everything darkened around me. It’s not just because it’s time for sunset, but all my light is gone.

The pleasant evening, the greenish surroundings, I was in no mood for them. I saw a girl clutching to a guy tightly on a pulsar. I didn’t felt the warmth of it, rather I got irritated.

On reaching our place I absent mindedly walked away. “Madam, paisa?”

‘Shit’ I hit my head and gave him a 500 rupee note and walked away again. “Madam Change”

I was too annoyed to hit myself again; I walked to him, and grabbed the change, and started walking without any thought of counting it.

I fell on my bed. I was not sleeping, nor was I crying. Lost in thought, Gokul, Shantanu and many other things raced in my mind. I didn’t know for how long, Bhagya and the other girl came in some time before. They didn’t bother me.

The time now is 9.00PM. Fumbling for my mobile, I sat up. Wanting to break the solitude I dialed mom’s number, something came up, I cut the call. Then I called Anu.

“Hey, did you meet him”

“Ya I did”

“You sound dull, what happened?”

“Nothing”

“Then why do you sound dull?”

“That’s why?”

“What?”

“Because nothing happened”

“hmmm… I get you. Cool yaar, there is still time”

“No yaar. I am not gonna wait for him anymore”

“Hmmm… it’s up to you”

“I had no time to tell you, what happened in Nandhini Palace”

“Oh even I forgot to ask you. Tell me. What did that.. what’s his name?”

“Gokul. He proposed me”

“What?”

“Ya he said ‘I love you’”

“Hey idiot, I know what’s proposing”

“Then?”

“So, not waiting for Shantanu means…”

“I haven’t made any decision yet”

“Hey Divya is here”

“Hi Divi”

“Hi da, How are you?”

“Fine, How do you do?”

“well”

“Hey my team member proposed me today”

“Hmm.. I was listening to the conversation”

“Hmm.. I am in a dilemma”

“I have nothing to say other than that you give time for the decision”

“hmmm”

“If he really loves you, he will wait”

“ok”

“So give it sometime. Say that you need time to arrive at a decision.”

“Hmmm”

“Anu said that you are feeling for Shantanu”

“I was”

“Oh ok fine. Anyway so hope you never had any feelings for this guy before”

“Hmmm.. no. I never had any feelings for him.”

“Well. So anyway it will take sometime for the change. Don’t hurry up”

“Ok” , That’s Divya. She started with ‘nothing’ and has said everything. She continued to advise me.

With Divya’s words in mind and the images of Gokul and Shantanu flashing before me, I fell asleep.