30. Is this what they call...

Our conversations grew longer than just a 4 line talk. The frequency of our talks also surged. Sorry couldn’t help it when a stocks wizard is around, to avoid using stock market language.

Shantanu mostly spoke of business, stocks economy or too trivial things like ‘what’s your fav color?’, ‘Have you watched Terminator?’ He is not just a economics freak but also crazy about movies. I presumed that’s his only entertainment.

Thankfully he didn’t bother to bring in our regular subject matters. It’s not that I am completely uninterested but definitely not for small talk.

It has now become a regular practice that we meet after the last class. Talk for a while before we go back to our hostels.

He is such a skipper. So I can’t always expect him to be there esp. when there is 1 or 2 classes in the afternoon. I feeling shy to look around the boys to search for him, used confirm his presence in the class by listening to his ‘yes’ during attendance.

On a day we had only one class in the afternoon. I listened to the attendance and there was a ‘yes’ for his name. So I assumed he is in the class.

After the class I waited for people to disperse out and was scanning for him. But he was nowhere to be found. I was perplexed. How could I miss him in a class of 75? Or How would he dare to ignore me?

With such myriad of thoughts I walked back to my hostel. I had a nap for a couple of hours a habit that I developed after joining this college.

When I woke up there was a dozen messages and half a dozen missed calls. Of course from him. I called back, “hello Shantanu”

“Hey hey sorry I am really sorry, I thought of telling you but I forgot, had a head ache so I stayed back in my room. I am really sorry…”

“hey relax cool, why are apologizing?”

“My friend told me that you were looking for me.. but I didn’t inform you before. That’s why..”

Embarrassing it was, I never thought that I were being so explicitly staying back in the class checking every face passing by the door, I wanted to say, ‘I was not looking for you’ but something stopped me, may be I didn’t want to hurt him or because it is a far fetched lie.

All I could come up was, “Ok no problem, hey but then I heard an ‘yes’ for your name”

With a prideful laugh, “Don’t you know ‘proxy’”

Just then I realized that such a concept is not restricted only to movies. “Oh This is what they call proxy huh!, interesting, hmmm.. I was sleeping so couldn’t respond to you,”

“That’s fine.. mmm..aaa..”

A momentary silence I assumed he is lost of topics to speak, but I was soon proved wrong it was not due to loss of words but hesitation.

“Can we.. I mean, can you..”

“hmm..”

“Will you go to canteen in the evening?”

I was thinking when I just have to give a boolean answer, but at times they are the ones that are too difficult. I decided to be grey, “At times”

“Oh, will you come today”

“Today, well.. when shall I come”, immediately I realized that’s too outright a reply for a girl to give, at least in India.

“Now, or you take your time, tell me when you are ready, I will be there in the next 10 mins”

“Fine then I will be there in the canteen by 5”

“Ok then see you there”

We have spoken with each other a dozen times outside class or NSS, mostly on the way back. It was mostly like some kind of a time filler or an elevator talk but this time it’s going to be different.

For the first time in my life a guy has asked me out. Though canteen which is less than a 100 meters away, the range of a toy walky-talky can’t be considered out, yet this still is at least literally out. Out of my home, out of my hostel.

First time in my life I gave more than enough importance to my looks staring at the mirror for minutes trying to ignore the teases of Anu and Sang, I walked out.