Transition (LXXVII)

Reviewed by Padu and Ironmonkey.

Everything around came crashing down on me. I could see Shantanu getting into a duel with the placement officers. May be he was arguing about how they could change the criteria all of a sudden. I knew it was hopeless. What can a final year student do against the authorities, who controlled our entire placement process, and had the control over our placement offers?

I gathered strength to urge Anu to go for it. “Just go. Prove that’s not something out of our reach.” I forced a meek smile, “All the best” and I turned towards our hostel.

I was all alone in our room. We had classes that day. Clearly I had no idea of going to the classes or anywhere else for that matter. I wished there was someone, someone to share my thoughts with, share before all my neurons disintegrated. At the same time I preferred to stay alone, I detested the idea of people pitying me.

I tried to get some sleep, but I couldn’t. I turned on Sangi’s Laptop, and checked for movies or something at all, that could keep me away from the worldly hell. I was skimming through every folder, mind kept loitering somewhere.

The very thought of facing my parents was bone chilling. The embarrassing thought of explaining this to my juniors almost killed me. Finally the thought about Shantanu, though I had no hope whatsoever in getting over the break-up, but somewhere in the depths of me, amidst all these brain eating thoughts his name silently drained the last of my blood.

I opened and closed three movies. Nothing was powerful enough to pull me in. I convinced myself there was nothing more to come. I told myself ‘Nothing can break me down. I am strong enough.’ A statement which made me weaker with every time I repeated it. Only then I noticed mobile flashing with Shantanu’s picture.

A cold feeling crept into me. I tried to answer the call with my hands shaking. Before my fingers could respond, the call died. I noticed there were 6 missed calls, all from him. I was wondering whether to call him back. Before I could make a decision the mobile flashed again.

I picked it up without second thoughts, with the first thought being, ‘The worst is over. No better bad news waits’.

Before I could say anything, “I know I shattered all your dreams. I can never forgive myself. I am not asking you to pardon me, but… I think I am going mad. I am..” Breaks!! In Shantanu’s words! Is he sobbing or what!! Mind raced with thoughts.

“Hey come on. There is nothing wrong on your part. Calm down. I want to see you.”

“Elvi I can never face you again. I..”

“Just come.” And I cut the call. I wondered whether I should feel happy about this. ‘Shantanu crying on the phone.’ For a moment I forgot everything. I had tears in my eyes. I didn’t know why. I quickly dressed myself, fumbled with my make up kit, and ran down to our usual meeting spot.

Shantanu walked towards me from the other side of the deserted road. I tried hard to control my excitement. I just stood there before him.

“Say something Elvia. For heavens sake accuse me please.” He was soliciting. It definitely was funny to see a man of his kind doing something like that. ‘Is he mad?’

“I broke your dreams. I..” He caught my hands “Hit me. Please hit me.”

“Hey cool it. You have nothing to do with me losing. I was equally guilty. It’s me who selfishly asked you to be my project mate, in spite of you wanting to stick with your helpless friends.”

“But… at least for my sake. Hit me”

I gave him a good punch in his abdomen, which startled him for a moment. I didn’t know whether I was angry with him, or over excited. He caught his stomach with his hands, and sat down in the pavement.

I sat next to him. Both of us were laughing. Some unknown feeling, an exotic bliss crept into our veins. We didn’t speak for a long time. We just sat there.

Finally I broke the silence, “So will you love a loser, who lost her only ambition in life.”

“Will you love a 7 pointer with an arrear?”

We laughed again forgetting about anything and everything, lost in our private world.


Artemis said...

hey welcum bak....
visitin everyday nd not findin an update was simply dejectin re....
grt to c d new post

hmmm.. placements play a big role bringin ur morale down...many of my frnds started actin weird after d placements...esp losin ur dream company must b heartbreakin...
but quotin nd alterin an famous movie dialog
"idu ilana enaa namaku ayiram companyla vealai kedaikum":P
hope u get a shot at attendin MIC by some way...:)....
happy to c d luv birds united....:)

Elvia said...


I m really sry for disappointing u :(


lol :p

janani said...

Huh.. It feels gud tat luv birds get united atlast.. I was under an impression tat u will make placement officers budge for shantanu and MIC change the criteria..Just to add a heroic touch to it.. Thank God that it was not crappy as I expected..As I always insist just dont slow down the frequency of posts.

Elvia said...


Seriosuly, I never had that idea :p

U ll make a good writer :)

Sudharsan said...

Fitting example for the quote

"When one door of happiness closes the other opens up."

Elvia said...


Nice quote :)

Srivatsan said...

Having short romance lines in distressed protagonist's story is good move.You made me smile at the end.

And regarding my placements,I didnt care much about it.Bcos this year we never had core placements much.Moreover,my aim was to make my parents happy with a BE degree and I did it.I was also a 7 pointer with an arrear till this mid-june ;)! :D

Elvia said...



arian said...

So as i had guessed!!! The post is really a beautiful expression of emotions and relationship.. Kudos to u!!! Loved every word of it..

Elvia said...


Happy that you loved them :)

Rajasekhar said...

nice post after long time.. hope u didn't have any iit alumnus on mic panel who knew u through shanthanu :) :)or did u ?? :P

Elvia said...


How could u ppl have all these sort of imaginations. Looks like there are a lot of better writers out there :)

arian said...


Elvia said...


Nextu restu :p

SarWan said...

In a week I have read all the posts in the blog.With a year passed after i left the portals of "thaaaaat" red building i am feeling really nostalgic reading this blog...sometimes even getting my eyes moist....great work elvia....and your narration and writing style are too small doubt i have....what is your fact-fiction ratio?or it is pure fact or pure fiction :P

Elvia said...


Thank U Sarwan :)

Unfortunately I don have the luxury of acquiescing the truth :(

Anonymous said...

Sorry for my bad english. I would like to get updated with you new posts as I love to read your blog. Add me to your mailing list if you have any.

Elvia said...


If write again, I ll be publishing it here. Thanks a million for ur interest.

BTW if suppose i have a mailing list how do I add u?

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