12.The 1st End Sem

Our new found fun suffered cataclysm. We had 3 days holidays after the last working day of the semester. The first exam was scheduled to start that Tuesday. I was not a sentimental person, yet something was skeptical about that Tuesday, or it was my exam monomania.

The assuaging fact was that I had access to Maria's and Anu’s class notes. The question papers were taken within our college by one of our faculty, who handled the subject for the 1st years. Hence pouring over the entire book wasn’t necessary. Rather one can take cues on what to prepare from the lecture notes.

That weekend was my worst ever weekend. With an assortment of subjects, we were pretty much confused on where to start and what to start. On that beautiful winter’s Saturday morning, after breakfast I picked up my chemistry book. I was gallivanting through the book with Maria’s Chemistry notes to my side, but soon got overpowered by ennui.

Thankfully Divya asked me to help her out with math. After lunch I tried physics which acted more like a bedtime story as I dozed off in my bed. The next day was no different we spent more time on choosing a subject than actually studying anything. ‘Chemistry! No that’s too vague for the mood. FOC- Oh we have got 2 days of holidays before the exam. Math – I am already good in it…’

Finally we have all started with English by Monday morning. There was nothing much to prepare except to reiterate through our workbook. No essays or non-details in College English. Nevertheless the exams jitters made us flip through the pages.

That Tuesday many skipped breakfast mostly out of jitters than lack of time. I felt I really needed a heavy meal for me to stay strong through the course of the exam. Something made me weary or weak. The first semester exam created an uncanny feeling that no other exam in my life had made me feel.

The next exam was the most dreaded math. My room turned into a tuition center. I really felt, ‘I would do better with a blackboard.’ Fridays were usually fresh when most girls wore flowers on their plaits and everything would have a lush glow. But that Friday was grotesque in the most decent terms. The mess hall looked scarce with only a handful first years, who contented themselves with a glass of milk. I was made a victim of the rife exam-phobia.

I felt I would feel better looking at a few ever-cheerful guys, but in vain. At least girls who skipped bathing covered it up with some makeup, but most guys looked just out of bed or worse ‘never been to bed.’ I called mom for the second time to get an extra dose of confidence pills.

The whole block was so silent by 3PM, as if it was 3AM. Everybody was asleep in the afternoon after the exam, as we had 2 more days left to prepare for the next one.

The rest of the exams were very similar with little variations on who looked most gloomy depending on what the subject was. Near the last exam things looked much better withal it was chemistry.

It might be because people got too bored of being scared, and they were engulfed by the holiday mood. As we were still in the transition between school and college we never realized college holidays were hell.

Girls from long distances had already booked their train tickets. We thought of a movie after the last exam, but all our parents were there by the end of the exam to take us back home.


*Gallivant-To roam about in search of pleasure or amusement.

*Ennui- Listlessness and dissatisfaction resulting from lack of interest; boredom:

*Uncanny-weird

*Grotesque- Characterized by ludicrous or incongruous distortion, as of appearance or manner.

*Withal - Although